The memories of him
by LenoreBerglund
Summary: Bella and Edward are perfectly happy with their life together in Seattle. But one day before their anniversary, a terrible accidents happens and everything changes. Edward has to struggle to get his Bella back. But what happens when he loses hope on her?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Now, this is my very first fanfiction, so be nice! :) Sorry if I have spelled somehing wrong, but you should know that I'm only 14, but I know quite much english, even though I'm Swedish. :p I actually have advanced english in my school. But enough about me. Now, ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 1. Regular days

BPOV.

The very first thing you get to hear before you go to school the very first time when your parents are dropping you off on the other side of the road, and you are facing the school is; "Be careful now, honey, make sure that there are no cars before you cross the road and don't you dare to stop and look back. Oh, and good luck at first day at school." And then you get a big smile that says; "I really hope she makes some good friends that stays for life."

And you do just as they tell you. You look to the left and then to the right, and then to the left again and then the right. And if it's clear, you start walking and you don't look back because they told you not to.

My point is, why don't you do as your parents told you when you are an adult? Usually you don't look to the left and the right and then repeat the circle one more time when you are a fully grown person. Or do you?

But by the time you get to the other side of the road, safe and sound on the walkway, as an 7 year old – or whichever age you are when you first starts school – you turn around and look back, because you were afraid that your parents would have disappeared the short time you were walking forward and not looking back, I know I did.

~#~#~#~

I was sitting in our very comfortable couch and listening to my Ipod when I heard a distant sound in the background. Then right there in the doorway of our little apartment in Seattle, my beautiful Edward stood smiling at me, I unplugged my Ipod and smiled back.

"Hello love, how was your day?" He asked as he walked towards me.

"Hey, my day was... slow I guess." I said with a shrug and stood up. _It was slow because you wasn't here_, I thought to myself. He stopped right before me and smiled, then he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me softly.

"And why is that?" He asked in a playful tone and a glint of amusement showed in his wonderful, breathtaking green eyes.

I faked a thoughtful moment and then answered him. "I have been missing you so much that it's almost painful, thank you for asking!" I said sarcastically. It was almost the truth. I smiled some more so he wouldn't believe I was mad or something.

"Alright, that seems fair because I've missed you too. But you would want to put on some other cloths now. We are going to eat dinner at Emmett and Rosalie's tonight." He said with a soft musical laugh.

I decided to play dumb. "What's wrong with my sweet moon pajama pants?"

"Oh, I don't know. You can go ahead and wear them if you want to, but you should know that Alice would attack you if you wore _those _in public." He cringed a bit when he looked at my pants. He had never liked them, he told me it was because the color on them wasn't matching my skin color. And they are red and I am pale white. HAH! I remember the first time he saw them on me, he had just arrived home from work.

"What the heck is that?" Edward pointed at my pants and shuddered.

"My new pajama pants! Don't you like them? Me, Jessica and Angela, you know Jessica and Angela from work? Anyways we went shopping and... ugh." I trailed off and shuddered when I thought about shopping. "They forced me to it, and then I found these! I just had to have them! So it was a succeded trip." I said with a smile.

"Ehm, yes I like them." He had said. His eyes were wrong and they were wondering around when he said he liked them. The green in his eyes always gets a little lighter every time he lie. He is good at hiding stuff, but I know him better than that!

"You know Edward, you are such a bad liar!" I laughed at him. "Why don't you like them?"

"Don't be mad, ok?" He looked worried that I wold be mad at him. I'd rather have him telling me the truth than telling me a lie.

"No I won't, I promise!" I said and smiled sweetly at him.

"Ok. The moons and the color red aren't matching your skin color." I started laughing again. He was so adorable. Like a little child telling his parents that he had broken their precious vase. - The only difference is that I wasn't mad.

I know that that excuse wasn't real, he had just made it up for some reason. But I didn't bother to find out. I laughed a bit more and walked towards him, embracing him and kissed his cheek.

"Do you know how adorable you are? Thinking that I would be mad at you for telling the truth rather then lying." He smiled.

"Thank you." He had said and kissed me softly but passionately.

I laughed a bit at the old memory. "Alright then, I'll change." He kissed me one more time before letting me go. I walked into our bedroom and changed my brown t-shirt into my finest blue blouse and changed my pajama pants into a pare of my favorite jeans. Alice wouldn't think it was high fashion but she would at least approve. You see Alice is a fashion freak.

I looked one more time in the mirror and discovered that my hair was a mess, so I just combed it right through and decided to do an easy messy, but good looking bun.

I walked out of our bedroom to Edward who was waiting in the hallway. He kissed my cheek and then we walked to the parking lot. Right before we entered his car a thought hit me.

"Crap! I forgot to lock the door, I'll be right back." I ran the fastest I could without falling down during the sprint back to our apartment. I went in and walked to our bedroom, got a jacket if it would get cold tonight. I grabbed the key and walked out, turning around, closing and locking the door. Then I walked with a decent phase back to Edward, waiting in the running car.

"Do you realize that you are making us late?" He asked, and when I looked up he was wearing an annoyed look. He saw the chock on my face he smiled and said, "Perfect." _More time for us,_ I could picture him thinking, I smiled to myself.

We didn't talk much during our drive to Rose and Emmett. We talked a little about buying a new DVD player. Our old one have had his years in the spotlight. We talked about dogs and how cute it would be to get a Shar pei puppy. We laughed a bit and talked some more.

When we arrived at Rosalie and Emmett, who lives just 20 minutes away from our apartment, Alice were ready to greet us. The first thing we got the hear before we even got out of the car was her high pitched loud squeal.

"EEEEEEE! Oh, Bella I have missed you so much!" Alice cried as she ran to the car and hugged me hard.

_Oh god. I can't believe has been almost a... week_. I rolled my eyes, Alice behaves like we haven't seen each other in years. But that's just one of the reasons why I love her.

"Hi Alice, I have missed you too." I said with a smile, relieved that she had let me go from her strangling hug. She went over to Edward and hugged him. Then we walked inside to Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett who were waiting for us.

"Hi Bella!" Rosalie said and gave me a quick hug, thankfully not as hard as Alice's.

"Well hello sister!" Emmett almost yelled and replaced his bored looking smile with a goofy grin. He swooped me up into his big arms and gave me a tight hug and laughed, and I joined him. _I have the best not-real brother in the world! _

"Hey big bear Emmett!" I laughed and hugged him back as tightly as I possibly could.

Jasper stood in the back of the room and watched us all hug before he walked up to us. He has always been the shy one, but ones you get to know him then you'll know that he is a really open person.

"Hey Jasper." I said with a smile as he got close enough to hear me. You should know that Rosalie and Emmett's living room is huge! Probably because Rosalie's parents are well wealthy, but they don't brag about it un public. No, Mr. and Mrs. Hale are really nice and very hospitable.

"Hello Bella." He said as he hugged me. "How are you?"

"I'm healthy and happily in love." I smiled at him and he chuckled lightly. After the whole greeting we ate and got some time to catch up.

Rosalie has gotten a job as a model, big surprise! She is more beautiful then the most beautiful and stunning super model. But before she got the model job she worked as a boat painter, I don't know why.. But guess what a attention she got by her co-workers! The boys or men, of course. That's why she got fired, her work mates didn't do their job correctly because of her apparently. That's what her boss had said.

Emmett has been playing baseball for a while now, and he is working his way to the top. He is actually playing in the minor league now. He is very good at it, at least he has been the couple of times I've seen him play.

Alice is still working in the fashion branch. She owns a little but large boutique, she had named it the Purple Clover. It's a really beautiful shop. Well, I'm not allowed to call it shop because it is a boutique. Alice is really good at designing things, she already has her own cap collection. I got one for present last Christmas.

Jasper has his passion for music. He is playing in a band named The Prisoners. Fortunately for Alice they don't go on tour as often as they did before. She was so sad those months. Well, Jasper is playing the guitar and he is really talented. He knows many songs and every now and then he plays for all of us and we have our own little sing along. It's really nice.

Edward is also a good musician. He plays the piano, and if you ask me I would say he's even better than Beethoven. He's my genious. Just right after we got together he wrote me a lulluby. It's the most beautiful song played on the piano I have ever heard. It brought me to tears the first time he played it for me.

"Congratulations Bella!" Alice squealed and hugged me. _And I though that we were over all the hugging. _"Well, I know it's a bit early but congratulations anyway!"

"Thanks..." I said confused as she released me. "But what am I thanking for?"

"You and Edward are having your 1 year anniversary in six days! Right? Right!" She said happily. _Crap, I had totally forgotten about that.._

"Oh, right. Yeah, thank you." I said and smiled at her.

"You forgot didn't you?" She asked, her smile falling. Luckily for me we were talking privately right now.

"Please Alice! Don't tell him. I know that he is your brother and you tell him everything, bla bla bla and all that, but please." I pleaded, pouting. Hoping that _my_ pouting was working just as good as hers. Hers could move mountains. Apparently mine did a miracle... this time.

"Oh, alright. But don forget to buy him something." The smile reappeared on her lips. She kissed my cheek and walked up to Rosalie and started talking to her.

The rest of the night ended as usual. Saying good bye and promising not to forget calling each other and meeting up again soon. Saying some I love you's and hugging a bit more. After that, me and Edward walked back to our car and went home.

That night Edward and I had some alone time, as every night. We lyed talking on our bed about heaven and earth and everything in between.

Then he was ontop of me, kissing me passionately. If I am going to go with the truth, Edward and I have never had crossed the real line before. We have never discussed it either. Well, one time, but that one doesn't count, because Emmett brought it up and he was just joking around... and he was drunk.

"Hey Eddie!" He had yelled. "Have you buttered Bella's muffin yet?" He had been drinking too many Jack Daniels that Jasper and Alice had given him. He had started laughing and fallen onto the sofa. Then he was out in a minute. The rest of us had to carry him from the living room into the bedroom, and gee! He is heavy! Luckily for Rosalie, all his heaviness is pure muscles and lots of food.

I was brought back to reality by Edward kissing along my jaw line. When I was running around in the land of thoughts Edward had apparently ripped of his shirt and was bare chested. I slid one hand over his chest and up again, amazed, pulling his wonderful face back to mine, kissing him again.

That night ened with Edward without a shirt, me without my pajama pants and nothing more.

I woke up to a very annoying sound. _Brrrr Brrr Brrr_. I turned around to my nightstand where my phone was lying vibrating. I sat up and took the it. When I looked at the screen the name Edward Cullen had popped up.

"Hello?" I said confused but sleepy. Why was Edward calling me when he was home?

"Hello love, sorry for calling you so early in the morning. But I had an emergency at the job. Just so you know. Did I wake you?" _Early? what time is it? 08.19am. Great! That's why I'm not awake yet._

"Oh, It's okey. What's the problem?" I asked. Edward works at the Starbucks a few streets away.

"Someone had turned of the cold keeper in the cold room so everything melted and now every food related thing has to be replaced." He sighed heavily in the phone. Clearly exhausted even if the work shift just started.

"It's alright. I will have the food on the table when you get home. Call me if you are early." I smiled even though I he can't see it.

"Okey. I love you Isabella Swan, you are my saviour." I could picture the smile on his beautiful face.

"I love you too, Edward Anthony Cullen." Then he was gone. The only thing you could hear was a low _beeeeep_. The rest of that day I cleaned the apartment and made the food from scratch. I made chicken lasagna for two.

The clock was just past five when Edward came home. He was so tired he almost fell asleep at the dining table. He ate his lasagna and then I helped him to bed. He fell asleep after about 5 minutes. My poor little boy. I lyed in the bed with him just caressing his cheeks, kissing him softly at his lips sometimes and stroking his hair, just adoring the most beautiful boy I have ever met, and he is mine, only mine.

* * *

_**Please read the things I have written here under! Those things are quite important. Big info thing, stuff.. :)**_

**I just want to make sure that you get how old everybody are. Bella is 20 and so is Edward, Alice is 21 and Jasper is 22. Emmett and Rosalie are 24. I don't really know how much the difference is between all of them but I didn't want to do too much difference.**

**Alice and Edward are siblings. Rosalie and Emmett are married and Emmett is Bella's best friend. Jasper and Alice are together. They aren't going to get merried in this story, maby the sequal. Rosalie is Bella's cousin from her mother's side.**

**I want to thank you for reading this first chapter. I know it's kind of slow, I was actually thinking about throwing in a joke or two from Emmett but I changed my mind. I don't have such a good sense of humor. Well, me myself think I have, but my humor is not as funny to other people that it is for myself. x)**

**Well, Emmett will be joking a whole lot in the next few chapters. Or at least the next one. I haven't decided when the accident will happen. So you have some things to look forward to! And a few thing to not look forward to.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey I'm back with the second chapter! Sorry, but this chapter is about 1000 words shorter that the first one. And sorry again if I have spelled someting wrong, but I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and keep on reading. :) Review and tell me what you all think of my story so far! :p As usual, I will write in the bottom. Now, ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 2. Knowing & understanding

BPOV.

"Hey Bella! Guess what?" Jessica called after me as I entered the door to work on thursday morning.

"Hi Jessica. No, what?" I smiled at her.

"Mike and I are together now! Like_ together_, together. We have been dating for months now and I totally thought that he just wanted to stay friends and then yesterday he kissed me!" She said happily.

"Wow Jessica, that's great!" She was jumping up and down in happiness and I smiled at her. "Edward and I are having our 1 year anniversary in four days!" I said, wanting to even it up and smiled proudly.

"Wow, I didn't know that! Well, congratulations." She had stopped bouncing and smiled warmly at me.

"Thanks." Right after me and Jessica had stopped smiling like idiots and got started, Angela entered. She looked really tired, like she hadn't gotten any sleep in days.

"Angela, how are you?" Jessica asked concerned.

"I'm just so tired. All my relatives from mom's side are visiting. And the little kids are bugging me all the time. I can't get my homework done and I can't sleep because they scream all night." She sighed.

"Oh, that's bad." I made a face.

"Yeah," Angela sighed again. It's bad enough for her to stay up all night, but our work isn't a dance on roses either. Our job is to record, doing paper work and stuff. We work at a bank in the middle of Seattle. It's not hard, but it isn't easy either. And she has school as a cherry on the top of it all.

I jumped of school half a year ago to work as I do now, I just went to college a year. Our job is well paying and you can live on it. I'll tell you, when I did go to school I had really good grades, but with my lack of balance I almost failed gym.

When I came home, Edward had already made dinner. He had made mushroom soup and it was really good. We ate and talked a bit.

"What would you think about visiting my parents this weekend?" He asked smiling. His parents live in Forks, a little town in Washington. Forks is under a near content cover of clouds and rain. I don't get how they can stand it there! It rains all the time, and the sun rearly comes out during summer time at all, or at any point of the year.

"That would be fun." I smiled. "Is Alice and Jasper coming too?"

"Yes, and Rosalie and Emmett are joining us. You know how Emmett love mom's cooking."

"Yeah, that would be really fun. We haven't seen Esme and Carlisle in months!" I said. He was smiling his huge 'family smile', he always wears a big smile like that when we talk about his parents.

We had just finished our dinner when he stood up, walking around our little dining table, pausing before me. I stood up and he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. We stood there for a few moments, then he pulled away.

"I'll do the dishes today," He offered. "You did them yesterday, so it's only fair if I do them now." Before I let him go I kissed his cheek and smiled. _Oh, god I love this boy_.

"Thank you."

We had eaten around five thirty, and suddenly the clock had turned eight. Edward had done the dishes and after that, he had watched t.v. and I had been reading my copy of _Wuthering Heights._

"Shall we go to bed?" He asked, having the crooked smile I love the most, as he turned off the t.v.

"Don't you think it's a bit early for sleep now?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Who said we were going to sleep?" He asked, and then the book was out of my hands and I was off the couch. I giggled as he carried me into the bedroom and threw me onto the bed. He turned off the lights and crawled from the foot of the bed and up until he was on top of me. He started kissing me and I responded just the same. His legs were in between my own and I wrapped mine around his waist.

He broke the kiss and in one swift movement his shirt was of. Yet again, I ran my hand down his muscular chest and up, just as stunned as the last time. Then he started trailing kisses along my jaw line and down my throat, up my neck and kissing the hallow base below my ear. He moaned when I moved my hands up in his hair and around in it.

He lifted his head and our eyes met. He pulled off my sweater slowly and teasingly. He finally got it off and threw it somewhere in the back of our room. He smiled as he looked down my half naked body.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" It didn't sound as a question, more like a statement. I blushed and he kissed the warm spots on my cheeks. He kissed me some more and then his hands started wandering along my body.

"Edward," I moaned.

"Hmmm."

"Edw-" I broke of in the middle of his name. I hadn't realized that I was panting now. But he didn't seem to mind. "Edward." I said again.

"Yes, love?" He answered, panting himself, but kept placing kisses on my neck. Before I got time to response, his right hand had unbottoned my jeans.

"Wait," I said, knowing what he was up to. He looked up a bit confused as I continued. "I love you and, but I... I don't feel ready for this. Not now.. I.. I'm sorry. I love you, I really do. But I-"

"Shh, Bella." He soothed me. "It's okey. It really is, love. We don't have to if you don't want to now." He smiled at me and kissed me one more time. He sat up, but then he started taking his own pants of.

"Edward?" I asked again, we had just talked about not having sex tonight and he was taking his own pants of instead of mine. "We just discussed that we wouldn't do _it_ tonight." I said confused and a bit nervous. He just laughed at me.

"I know, love, but I still want to take my jeans off, it's not comfortable to sleep in jeans."

"Oh," I blushed again and looked down, he lifted my head and smiled at me.

"It's okey, Bella. I don't want to force you into something you don't want to. I can wait." He said softly, kissing me again. I was realived that he was so understanding. I have the best, most wonderful boyfriend in the world.

I smiled at him and stood up. I went in to the bathroom and changed to my pajama pants and threw on a t-shirt.

The next day I woke up early. But Edward beat me with an hour or so. When I had put on a pare of sweatpants and another nicer t-shirt and walked out into the kitchen, he had made fryed eggs and bacon for me and him. He was sitting at the dining table all fixed up for our day with his family.

"Good morning love." He said and smiled.

"Hey Edward." I walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss, got seated and started to eat. And I was hungry! It felt like I could eat a horse.

During my 'eating-breakfust-as-a-dying-hungry-wolf' I remembered what had happened last night, I blushed at the thought. Of course, he wanted to know why.

"Why are you blushing?" I jumped because I hadn't noticed that Edward was standing behind me and whisperinig in my ear. _How did he get behind me without me noticing?_

"I... uhm, nothing." I could feel my cheeks heatening even more at the thought that he wanted to know.

"Tell me." He said, drawing a pattern with his finger on my heating cheek.

"No.."

"Please," I turned my head and looked at him, and regretted it at once. He was pouting the Cullens' famous mountain moving pout. I sighed and gave up. He would never give up anyway, so I had to make the move.

"Fine.. I was thinking about last night. And, I.. uhm, wanted to thank you for being so understanding." I whispered, whising that he hadn't heard. Well, with my luck... he did.

"It's okey Bella, I already told you that. I can wait." He said softly. I stood up, turned around and gave his soft, warm lips a long kiss.

"You know, when you kiss me like that, you're not doing my waiting thing any easier." He murmured and looked down, but I could still see the smirk on his face.

"Hey," I lifted his head to look at me. "I do what I can." I teased, smirking back at him. He narrowed his eyes at me and I laughed. "Your are so cute when you are fake mad!" I laughed some more and kissed him again.

"Stop it or I'll make you stay away from me!" He threatened, but I just kept laughing at him.

"You wouldn't survive a day without me kissing you." I kept teasing him.

He smiled. " Okey, okey, ready to go visit my parents now?"

"Almost. I just have to freshen up a bit. I'll be back in a few." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Will you take the dishes?" I asked, remembering where we were and what we had done before the kissing part started.

"Yeah," He said, walking around me and taking the plates. I went to the bathroom and washed my face, then I did my makeup. I applicated some pouder and blush, not that I needed it. I used just a little mascara and some brown eye shadow. After that, I combed my hair and did a loose braid. It was not ugly, but not the sort of braid you have when you walk the runway. It was decent.

I went back to our bedroom and changed to a pair of jeans and a sweater, I took a shirt on top of that, but I left it open so I wouldn't sweat if it would be a nice day in forks.

I walked back out into the kitchen. "Hey, I'm ready to go." I smiled.

* * *

**Hey there people! I hope you enjoyed the second chapter. I'm not going to talk for long, I just wanna tell you that the accident will probably happen in the fourth chapter, or in the end of the third. I didn't want to make this chapter unnecessarily long because of the family thing going on. :) Keep on reading! The third chapter will be out soon. Now, review time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey everybody! I'm here with the third chapter! Sorry if I have spelled anything wrong. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and review and tell me what you like and such. I'll write in the end of the chapter as usual. :) Now, ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 3. Love and loss

BPOV.

Edward decided that we should have some car snack for our trip to Forks. Even though the ride is not far too long. He went to the store and bought some gummy bears, a coke and chips. It was really nice! We ate and we talked, we laughed so hard that we almost cried but Edward always drove perfectly fine, he didn't swerve one single time.

Somewhere during the middle of the drive, I fell asleep. I didn't dream of anything but I woke up to a velvet voice whispering in my ear.

"We're here, love." I opened my eyes and got struck by the sudden light. Edward laughed softly as I blinked. When I finally could open my eyes enough to see something without having to blink as much, I saw the familiar house in front of the car.

"Oh," I stepped out of the car and I nearly fell forward but Edward cought me before the damage was done. "Wow, thanks."

"No problem," He said and kissed my forehead. We walked up the stairs to the porch and opened the door. Emmett was watching baseball on the t.v. and Carlisle sat in a chair and was reading a book. He looked up as he heard our entrance.

"Hello," He smiled and stood up. He walked up to us and gave both of us a hug. "How are you two now a days?"

"We're fine. We are actually thinking about getting a dog." Edward smiled.

"Yeah, a Shar pei." I said, smiling at Carlisle.

"Esme, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie are in the kitchen Bella," Carlisle said. "I would like to speak with Edward a bit, catch up."

"Okey." Both me and Edward said. Edward kissed my cheek and then I walked into the kitchen where the others were. As usual, Alice squealed when I entered and Esme held her hands over her ears, so did Rosalie. Jasper just laughed and smiled at me. Alice hugged me hard and said hi.

We greeted eachother and helped Esme finish up dinner. After we all had eaten, the boys decided it would be fun to play baseball because the weather is so nice. So they all went to the backyard and started setting up bases. When they were done with that, they started to play.

Edward is the fastest, but Emmett has the strenght. So they were quite even. Rosalie wanted to play too, so she made team with Jasper and Carlisle. I didn't play so was judger. Esme is the one who catches the boll if the player misses and Alice is the one who throws the ball.

I don't know what the 'thrower' and the 'ball catcher' is called for real so I just call them thrower and catcher. The game ended equal. Edward's team and Carlisle's team got the same points so they decided that the next time we all come here, we will play a rematch.

"That was really fun, you guys." Rosalie smiled, "We should really do the rematch next time."

"Heck yeah!" Emmett yelled.

"Emmett! I haven't your mother raised you better then that! You do not curse among people!" Esme said.

"Mom, c'mon!" Emmett whined and the rest of us laughed at him. Esme and Carlisle take care of us like their own children, so we just call them mom and dad. We went inside and sat down in the family room and got talking. That's how we spent the rest of the night. Around ten o'clock me and Edward decided it was time to head home to Seattle again. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper decided to do the same.

I gave Esme a tight hug and pulled away. She gave me a warm smile. "Oh Bella, come back as soon as you can."

I smiled back. "We sure will." I gave Carlisle a hug and then the others. After we had said our good byes we went back to Edward's car. When we got in I noticed how tired I was, I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"Tired?" Edward asked softly.

"Mhhm-hmm." I hummed as an answer. I must have fallen in a very, very deep sleep because when I woke up the next morning, I was in our bed, lying under our very comfortable cover. I sat up in the bed, not remembering how I got here. _Edward must have carried me, hmm._

I stood up and walked unsteadily into the kitchen, no Edward in here. I walked into our little living room, no such luck, Edward wasn't there either. I checked the bathroom and he wasn't there. It was just one 'room' left, the closet, and he wasn't hiding in there either.

I decided to get my phone and text him. I went to the kitchen counter and unplugged it from the charger.

_Hi, I just woke up. Where are you? I miss you and love you. - B_

**Hello love, I'm at work. Have you even checked the clock? I love you too, I'll be home in 2 hours. - E**

I turned around and the time hit me right in the face. It was ten past three!

_Oh, okey. See you in two. What do you want to eat? - B_

**Nothing in perticular. I'll have anything you do! You know I love your food, Bella. Just as much as I love you. - E**

_Okey, then I'll do Pizza, to keep it simple. Love you too. - B_

I got dressed and washed my face. Then I went and checked the fridge. We didn't have all the ingredients to make the pizza dough, so I decided to head down to the grocery store. I didn't want to go without Edward knowing where I was, so I decided to call him, if he would be early, he'd know where I am.

It rang three times before he picked up. "Hey Edward, it's me. I just want to tell you that I'm heading down to the grocery store to buy some ingredients for the dough."

"Okey. I'll be home in an hour." He said, sounding happy.

"Alright. I'll be home by then and the pizza will be warm and ready for you."

"Sounds good."

"Oh, and I'll go to the mall a quickie too. I need a new pare of jeans." I had to lie to him, I couldn't tell that I was planning to buy his anniversary present, It would ruin the surprise.

"Okey. I love you, my Bella." He said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I love you too, Edward. Bye." Then he was gone. He was always faster then me on hanging up. It was the game of ours when we first got together. I don't know why, but sometimes it is quite funny.

Apparently the call had alerted me, because I was well aware of where I were now, so I could easily get to our bathroom and fix my hair and wash my face. After I'd done that, I put on a pair of shoes and walked out. This time I didn't forget to lock the door, I had no Edward here to distract me. I smiled to myself.

When I got out on the street and breathed in the fresh air I felt even more energetic then after the call. The fresh odor of the new day always make me smile and brisk. I walked down our street to the first transition stop. I pressed the botton and then it turned green. I checked so the road was clear and started walking.

When I had arrived to the grocery store I went in and took the foodbag. I grabbed some salt, we were out at home. I decided that we were in need of milk an took two liters. I went and got a coke, some flour and a pack of sandwiches.

After about 15 minutes and some well-spent money later I was at the mall. I didn't know what to buy to Edward, so I decided to call Jasper, he's a guy, he might have some advice about what Edward would want.

I could call Emmett. But he would just had say something stupid? Or would he? _Maby I could give him a shot_, I thought to myself.

I pressed botton 5 on my phone, it is the speed dialer to Emmett, he's my best friend. I have known him all my life, we spent a big part of our childhood together. I love him, I talk to him about almost everything. He's like the brother I never got.

"Hello sister!" Emmett answered after two tones.

"Hey Emmett." I said and just jumped head-on. "You know Edward and I are having our first year anniversary in like one day, right?"

"Yeah, what about it?" He asked.

"Well, I don't know what to buy him. Can you help me?"

"Of course, Isabella." I always get annoyed when people says my full name, but not with Emmett. It's quite funny to see or hear him say it. He always makes a funny face when he says it and he always uses an fake accent in breaking french. "Hmm." He hummed in the phone, probably thinking. This could take a while.

"Hold on sister. Jasper! Come here." Emmett yelled, it sounded like he was holding the phone away from his mouth at least.

"Hello?" Jasper said.

"Hey Jasper, it's Bella. Could you please help me? Me and Edward are having our anniversary and bla bla bla. I need to buy him something. What do I buy?" I asked, getting impatient.

"You could buy him a pair of underwear." He snickered, I could hear Emmett's booming laugh in the background.

"Haha. No!" I said, clearly annoyed. This wasn't funny anymore. Ugh, _boys!_ "Seriously. It's like a day away, please Jasper."

"Okey, okey. I don't know, what would you want if you were the guy? Buy him a tie, or a shirt or perhaps a bracelet? It's not non-manly to wear a bracelet. Think about it!" He said softly.

"Thanks Jasper." I smiled. "I'll go with the bracelet. Bye!" Great, now when I got the present in mind, I just need to find it. I went to the nearest jewelry store and got searching.

"Hello. May I help you?" A girls voice said behind me. When I turned around a tall but slender girl stood infront of me. She had dark short hair, and a name tag that said 'Leah'.

"Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm looking for a bracelet for my boyfriend, perhaps a chain in silver." I smiled friendly at her.

"Okey, I'll get our expert." She smiled back and walked away. I looked around a short moment and then I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw a tall boy with short black hair, he didn't look older then 18.

"Hello. You were searching for a bracelet, yes?" He asked nicely.

"Yeah, for my boyfriend." His smile fell a bit when I said boyfriend. I strained myself to hide my laugh that wanted to escape.

"Okey, what kind of bracelet do you have in mind?" The boy asked. I looked down at his name tag and it said 'Jacob'.

"I was thinking like a easy chain in silver."

"That's nice," He said, but it didn't sound that he thought it was nice. "follow me." I followed him to a glas desk full of bracelets. He took out a box with silver chains and told me to look it over. I found a perfect silver chain that was split in two and then twinned together. It was beautiful, and it wasn't too feminin, it was perfect for a guy.

It wasn't too expensive either! It cost around 150 dollars. It is sure worth it! I told Jacob that that was the one I wanted. He asked if I wanted to have it wrapped up.

"Yeah, if it's not too much to ask!" I smiled.

"No, it's no problem." He smiled back. He put the bracelet in a tiny black box and closed it, then he wrapped the box in a beautiful, blue silver looking gift wrap and put a piece of a baby blue lace as a bow on top. Right next to the bow he stuck a sticker on so I could write a text or just Edward on it.

He borrowed me a pen and I wrote; _To my wonderful, loving and beautiful boyfriend Edward Cullen. I love you with all my heart. Your Bella._ And I drew a little heart next to my name. Before I paid he asked me to show my ID. I don't know why but I just did as he told me and paied for the bracelet.

Now I was ready to go home. I thanked Jacob and Leah for helping me and walked out of the store. I walked right through the mall and out on the walkway. I walked along the street up to the trantation stop and pressed the botton. When the light swiched green I just walked right foreward.

My misstake. The next thing I heard was a car trying to brake and before I knew it.. _Pain_. Lots and lots of pain. I tryed to scream, but nothing came out. I heard distant cries and peoples screaming in the background and then everything went black.

* * *

**There you have it people! The fourth chapter will be out soon. I won't torture you far too long by waiting! I promise. :) As far as I know now is that the next chapters will be in EPOV. Bye! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hi! I'm back with the forth chapter. From now in it is EPOV! Some BPOV will pop up. :) Just wait and see! Sorry again if I have spelled anything wrong, I'm so paranoid when it comes to people and english and reading. I know how irritated I get when things are spelled wrong, that's why I keep apologizing!**

**Now, ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 4. Phone call

EPOV.

"Hey Seth, can you give me a hand in the cold room?" I asked. It has been like two days now and we still hasn't got the cold room ready. There were still some ruined leftovers lying on the floor, and it was water almost everywhere. That's what you get when you have a too big cold room and some stupid co-worker that hasn't learned that you don't turn off the cold keeper.

"Yeah, what do you need help with?"

"We need to get the water away." I said and smiled at him. "Thanks for helping me."

"Yeah no problem, man." He smiled back. Me and Seth worked in the cold room the half hour we had left. I can't wait to get back home to my beautiful Bella and her wonderful pizza. She's a really good cook. Her food is delicious, mine is also good, or that's what se says, but it doesn't taste as good as hers.

Our boss came walking in to the cold room just as we finished up. "Okey boys! You can head home now."

"Thanks boss." Both me and Seth said. We walked down to the staffs locker room and got changed.

"Edward, why do you keep smiling?" Seth asked me suddenly. _Was I smiling? _Apparently I did.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about Bella." I said and looked down, but kept the smile on my lips.

"Whoa, tell me no more!" He laughed and I joined him. When I had dressed into my regular clothes I grabbed my bag and got going. This morning I took my car, It was raining so I didn't want to walk the few streets I have to work, so I walked back to my car and went home to Bella.

I parked the car on our usual space and walked to the stairs... After about 200 steps later I was at our door, okey, It didn't take 200 steps, more like 90 of them but it's still a rough walk.

I tryed to open the door, but it was locked. _Wasn't Bella supposed to be home? What is she up to? _I just shrugged and got my extra key and locked up.

"Bella?" I asked. It was so quiet. "I can't smell any pizza. What are you doing?" I went into our bedroom, no Bella. I walked into the kitchen and there was no trace of any pizza baking in there.

"Bella?" I called a little louder. I walked straight to our livingroom, but Bella wasn't there either. _Where is she?_ I thought. I decided to call her. I was starting to get a little panicky.

It rang six times before the voice mail kicked in. "Hi it's Bella, I can't pick up the phone right now but leave a message and I'll call you as soon as I get to it. Bye." _Beeep._

"Hey Bella, it's Edward. Where are you? You're making me nervous, I feel a little panicky. Call me, I love you. Bye." I almost whispered the last part before I pressed the 'hang up' botton. I was just about to call Alice and Rosalie and see if she was there when our home phone started ringing.

"Hello this is Edward speaking." I said lamely.

"Is it Edward Cullen?" A males voice asked.

"Yes, who is this?" I was really confused now. I checked the number, but I didn't recognize it.

"This is Dr. Ron Whaleton from Seattle hospital, I'm calling about a woman named Isabella Swan." I raised my eyebrowns in disbelief and shock. _Bella, my Bella at a hospital?_ I started to panic now, and I didn't like it. _No, no, this can't be right!_

"What? Bella? What has happened? Oh my god, where is she?" I started shaking, I couldn't think.

"Bella?" Dr. Whaleton asked. "The woman I'm calling about, Isabella Swan, has been run over by a car. She had some bags with her, two of them contained food and the other one had a little box in it, it looked like a gift and it said your name on it."

I broke down sitting on the floor with the phone to my ear, saying "No, no, it can't be my Bella. No, no." I started crying. I didn't know what else to do. My beautiful Bella lying at a hospital. Was she dead? "Oh, no." I kept crying and crying and the doctor said nothing.

"Calm down now Mr. Cullen. Isabella is in a serious condition, she has a broken femur because one of the tires hit it and one of her wrists snapped off when she landed on the ground. The driver said she hit her head pretty hard too, but no brain damage has been descovered. We contacted Isabella's parents Renee and Charlie Swan first and they told us to call you too. They said you are her boyfriend. Correct?"

"Yes, I'm her b-boyfriend. How is s-she is she a-awake?" I cryed. "Oh, no, no, no." I kept whispering through my sobs. I started rocking back and foreward again and again, hoping for the best.

"She is being operated right now. Reparing her wrist and femur."

"When do h-her parents arrive?"

"In a few hours, 9 maximum." He answered plainly.

"I'll be o-over right away." I said, hanging up. I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He sounded so undisturbed, like nothing bad had happened. the only one I wanted to talk to now was Alice. I dialed her number, it took two rings. Those two _beep's _took way to long, they were hurting my brain.

"Hi Edward!" Alice said happily, wich made me sob even harder. "Edward? Are you okey?" She asked, sounding concerned.

"B-Bella. Bella!" I sobbed, the tears were streaming down my face in full speed. "C-come to our apartment! Now, Alice, now!" I half yelled and hung up.

I let go of the phone and lyed down on the floor, holding my legs to my chest and wishing that this was a tarrible nightmare. After some time, I don't know how long it took, Alice entered our apartment.

"Edward!" She cried when she saw me. She ran to me and sat down on the floor, lifting my lifeless feeling body up enough for her to slid her knees under my back and embracing me, wich made me cry even more. The tears wouldn't stop coming, and I didn't care. It felt like everything went black, even though I could see everything that was happening.

"Oh my god." I heard a Rosalie sounding voice gasp. From the corner of my eye is saw Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie stand in the kitchen our doorway, mine and Bella's doorway. _My_ Bella.

Emmett and Jasper looked chocked, and I couldn't tell them why I behaved like this, I couldn't talk. Rosalie, Alice and Emmett would do the same, Jasper would probably get even more paler than he was now and just sit down staring, as he did ones when Alice broke her arm and he saw how her arm was twisted.

"Edward please," Alice pleaded, she had started to cry too. "Tell me what have happened." She sobbed. She has always hated to see me cry like this. I had done this two times before, once when my grandpa' hade a stroke and the time Alice broke her arm. And just as the last to times she had started crying because I was.

"B-bella," I stammered and sobbed at the same time, "run o-over by a... a-" I fell into another stream of tears. I didn't know if they could hear what I said, but the only thing I could think of or concentrate on was that I hated that person who almost had killed my Bella, who made me look like a breakdown to the unknowing people. "c-car!" I cryed.

"Oh my god." Rosalie gasped again and fell into Emmett's arms. Emmett started crying and saying "Rose, wake up." Slapping her gently on one of her pink cheeks. Jasper got corpse white and sat down on the floor just staring infront of him. Alice got silence for a few moments and then she broke into more tears.

We sat like that for almost two hours. Rosalie woke up after six minutes, she had fainted. Emmett held her and she snuggled into his chest sobbing just like the rest of us. Jasper still sat on the floor all white and staring.

"Jasper," Alice said, she had stopped crying now, but her eyes were all red and her face was wet. "Call mom and dad, tell them to come to the hospital as fast as they can." Jasper kept staring at Alice and then his eyes shifted to me in her arms, then he nodded once.

I watched as Jasper stood up and took our home phone, mine and Bella's phone. _My_ Bella. He called mom and dad and told them everything about Bella's accident, I saw how a few tears escaped from his watering eyes and ran silently down his cheek as he talked.

"Edward," Alice said gently, she was starting to get up. "We got to get to the hospital. Now." I sat up slowly, my head was hurting and spinning because I had lyed on the floor so long. Alice wiped her tears away and walked into our bathroom. Mine and Bella's bathroom. _My _Bella. The water went on for a short time, and then off. After a few seconds Alice walked out again.

She walked up to me and took my hand. "Come here." She said, her eyes tearing up again. I started to stand up and as soon as I was at my feet Alice flung her arms around my neck and embraced me as hard as she could, but it wasn't hard enough. I wrapped my arms around her back, pulled her tightly against me, I pressed my eyes shut and buried my face into her spiky but soft hair. "I love you Edward. We'll get through this." She said softly.

"Thank you, Alice." I managed to whisper through my silent sobs.

When we reached the hospital I had finally stopped crying. I felt so lifeless, hard and cold as stone. I wouldn't talk to anyone, I was afraid that I would break down into tears again and I didn't want to do that, so I just stopped talking.

We walked into the big entrence room and went to the elevator. We went up to the reception to check wich room Bella is in. _My_ beautiful Bella, in hurt and probably terrified. _My_ Bella.

"Hi." Alice said sadly to the receptionist. She was doing the talking. Emmett was too upset, I understand him. Rosalie wasn't herself, she was giggling and being all disorientated, probably in shock. Jasper was just staring with wide open eyes, still. And I refused to talk. "Wich room is Isabella Swan in?"

"She's in room 352. She hasn't woke up yet, and she won't. I'm afraid to tell you that Isabella is in a coma." After she had said that line I collapsed.

* * *

_**I'll just tell you that the next chapter will be in ALICE POV! **_

**Hi! I hope you liked the fourth chapter. The fifth one will be out by tomorrow night. :) For those who didn't understand why Edward thinks like 'mine and Bella's bathroom. _My_ Bella.' Is because he is going crazy by the thought that he might lose Bella forever.**

**He can't stand that he and Bella used to be so happy in their apartment and everything was perfect, and that just one regular day in town and one stupid driver would ruin everything.**

**That's my explanation. Now it's rivew time! :) Bye.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**AlicePOV aren't going to be as long as EPOV and BPOV.**

**I'm back with the fifth chapter. Read and enjoy! I'm sorry again if I have spelled anything wrong. I'll write at the bottom as usual. Now, ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 5. Tears, sorrow and family support

APOV.

I miss Edward. I miss his laugh, I miss how he and I would talk everytime we got our chanse. He's here and there all the time, but yet, he's not. And now beacuse of a stupid, uncareful driver, my brother is even more distant than he was before.

Bella is hurt and Edward is a wreck. I know he is even though he haven't woke up yet, and because of that, our mother will be miserable, and then our father will be sad. All that because of a terrible accident and a stupid driver. I know it's not right to blame the driver, but I can't bring myself to say that Bella was foolish not to look, because I don't know that, because I wasn't there. I want to blame myself for not being there, but that's not right either, because I couldn't foresee the accident, I could and can't do nothing but hope.

I know that the driver probably is devastated. But I can't not do anything, but right now, I just sit by my brothers side and cry. Cry for his beloved's hurt, cry some just for his benefit, and cry because my brother and I are parting, and it's painful.

I remember the first time Edward told me about Bella, they had just met. He told me that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, apart from me. He told me that she had chocolate brown eyes, and that they were like portals into her soul. He told me that she had long, brown hair that reminded him of the dream he had ones, about his chocolate sea.

He was 8 years old, and it was a early juli morning, he came running down the stairs.

"Alice, Alice!" My brother yelled, smiling.

"Hey, Edward!" He was always like my big brother, even though I'm a year older than him. When he turned 7 he grew past me, and since then he has always been my big little brother.

"Alice, I just had the best dream ever! I dreamed of the sea," He said, looking at the sealing and dreaming away. "but it wasn't clear blue as your eyes, no, the sea was brown! And it was made of chocolate." He had hugged me and then run to our mother and tell her about his dream.

Every ones in a while he'd say; "I know it's real, you just have to be asleep to get there! You can't go far, but you can always dream."

I chuckled a bit through my tears. My baby brother was lying in a hospital bed next to his Bella and I sat inbetween them, looking at Bella and holding Edward's hand. Bella's breathing looked uneven and Edward's was thick. Mine was just... heavy.

"Oh, Alice!" My mother cried, comming through the door. I let go of Edward's hand and hugged my mother. She let me go and looked over at Bella, she walked up to her and kissed her forehead saying; "Oh sweetie," Some of her tears dripped down on Bella's still body.

Dad came up to me, making me stand up and then he embraced me, singing quietly in my ear. He'd always sing to me when I was sad, like the time I dropped my teddybear into the lake and it 'drowned'. It was a really long time ago, I was probably 6 or something.

Dad, me and Edward went fishing a summer for a very long time ago. Mom was at a conferance in Los Angeles for about two weeks so dad decided that we should do something fun, so we went fishing.

I had my teddy with me, he was my comfort when mom was away. His name was Mr. McDonald's Nail-paint. I liked nail polish and McDonald's at the time so I named him that. I didn't like to say nail polish so I just said nail-paint.

Well, anyways, we were fishing and sat in a boat in the middle of a lake. Edward was 5 and didn't know much, so he took my teddy and said; "Teddy wants take a swim, Alice!" And then he threw my teddy into the water and he sank.

I cryed for hours, dad got a headache and Edward got sad because I was. When mom came home she had to sort everything out, tired and everything.

"Alice, honey." Mom said, wich made me snap out of my thougts. "You can go to Jasper now." I just shook my head, I am not going away from my brother now when he needs me the most.

"Alice," My mother said again. "You have to eat something at least." I just kept shooking my head. Mom sighed heavily and walked out. Dad kissed my forehead and walked out after my mother. I sat down again and storke Edward's cheek. I took up his hand and kissed it softly, hoping that he would wake up.

It has been two days now, Edward still hasn't woke up. The nurses keep saying he will wake up any minute now.. It has been like that for two days. I haven't eaten since yesterday morning, and I don't feel like to eat now.

I sat looking at Edward, watching his head move a little now and then, his eyelids flutter and-... _Wait? His eyelids flutter? Omg, he's wakening!_

"Nurse!" I called. "Nurse! Edward is starting to wake up!"

* * *

**Hi, I'm so sorry for making this chapter kind of wiered, and for taking so long writing it! But I have been busy all day, and right now I'm missing a family movie night just to make you guys happy! So I didn't do this chapter long, and yeah. But I hope you liked it anyway.**

_**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!**_

**The sixth chapter will be out tomorrow! I'll try to write a chapter every day. :) Heads up! The next chapter will be in EPOV!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey people! I'm back with the sixth chapter. Today it's EPOV and he is just wakening because he collapsed when he got to hear that Bella is in a coma. This chapter can be a little slow, just so you know! But I don't know what you people think. **

**So, ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 6. Open your eyes, and see through the darkness

EPOV.

Blackness is easy, darkness is.. I have my doubts. When you can dream forever, what do you dream about? When you can't dream at all, why don't you wish upon a star to make you dream about dreames come true? But I thought you couldn't dream.. I have so many questions! But no one is here to talk to me, everything is dark, so black.

Isn't darkness and blackness the same thing? It should be. I mean, dark and black, it's the same. Darkness can't be pink. And it can certainly not be white, because light is white. And that too, is the same thing. Isn't it?

But what happens if you slip? If you slip back into consciousness, when you disappear from your dream. At one point, you are with your beloved in a beautiful dream, and it's so real that you never want it to end, but one day everything changes. "One regular day," you'd say before it happens.. and then you'd say it's not. And after that, you find yourself drowning in tears, grief, regrets and fears.

You fear that you would lose you beloved forever. Just like she would disappear, forever. Leave you behind with all her things. Some people keep them as _the memories of her_, and some keep them as a reminder that you'll meet soon, your time is not far away. A few years maybe, that's not a long time.

But I'm not that kind of a person. I wouldn't stand to have my beloved's stuff around me all the time, it would make me reminded of what we had, and then I would just suffer even more.

I dream sometimes. I dream about what my life would be like without love, and I wouldn't have my life like that if I could choose. It's like a nightmare, it's scary and I wish that it'll never come true. You wish that you won't dream any of the bad dreams.

But sometimes you can't have your wishes come true.

"Bella! Don't walk away. Please!" I started to run after her, but she kept going even though I called for her. "Bella, stop!" She just kept walking and then she disappeared. I started to run, and then, before I knew it I was right behind her again. I was so close that I could grab her arm. I was just about to, I reached foreward but my arm was gone. I looked myself over and then my whole arm was gone. "What's happening?" I screamed. "Bella he-" Nothing. I couldn't talk anymore. _What's happening? _My consciousness stated to disappear.

I tryed to scream, but nothing came. I could feel my lips move, and then I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I tryed to push away the darkness that was coming at me, just like the last time. But I slipped into it, because I couldn't fight it, because I had lost my strenght. Then I started hear voices.

"Nurse! Come quick, Edward is waking up!" She kept calling. "Mom!" _Alice?_ I thought.

"Edward, honey?" It sounded like my mother. "Edward, can you hear me?" I wanted to look who it was, but at the same time I didn't.

"Talk to me, Edward." I tryed to say that I won't, I don't want to talk. I don't want to open my eyes. I want to go back to the land of dreams I have been in. It felt like it lasted for five mintues, tops. _How long have I been out? _But I didn't want to slip back into the bad dream. I want to have the life I had with Bella just five mintues ago, or have it been five days? or weeks? or years? I don't know.

A few moments past by and my mother kept talking to me and Alice kept asking for a nurse. I decided to try open my eyes, but everything was so... so light, so, just white. I couldn't figure out where I was. _Why the heck is everything so white? _I closed them hard and my hands shot up to my ears, I could still hear Alice call after a nurse, and then the thought hit me, Bella!

My eyes shot open, ignoring the sudden light and sitting straight up in, where ever i were or lying. "Where's Bella?" I half screamed at my mother. She looked shocked and sad, like she had been crying for quite some time. I know her feelings. "Where's Bella?" I repeted a little softer this time. I felt breathless, I was almost gasping for air.

"Edward," My mother said, pointing somwhere I couldn't grasp. My sight wasn't the best right now. I shook my head a few times.

"How long have I been out?"

"Honey, lay down again." My mother said sofly. "You have been out for two days, aren't you hungry?" _Two freeking days? Why hadn't anyone wake me? _This was really confusing. I didn't get it.

"No.. Or, I don't know, and I don't care. Where's Bella?" I asked again. My mother pointed at the same direction she had before. I looked around several times before I saw Bella. _My _Bella. I could feel the anger bubble up inside, if I get to that driver I would... I.. Just look at her!

She was lying in a bed beside me. Her heart was beating, you could hear the _beeping_, but she was trapped up in strings and tubes. A part of her left arm was in a cast, one of her legs was peeking out of the cover and that too, was in a cast. Her beautiful face was bruised and swollen. Her whole body was blue and purple. She looked so broken, or teared up. She looked like a doll, a very well used doll. She didn't look like _my_ Bella.

I looked down and found myself in a bed. So I got up, stumbling a little and tryed to walk over to Bella. Alice tryed to stop me, telling me 'no' and 'you can't', begging me to sit down. My mother did the same but I didn't care.

"Edward, don't go over there. Just wait, you don't want to see the mess." I turned around and narrowed my eyes at Alice, who had spoke.

"She is not a mess!" I screamed at her. I didn't meen too, but I just did. I couldn't handle people telling me that I can't go to _my _Bella. Her mouth popped open, but she closed it quickly, and then her eyes started tearing and she walked out without another word. My mother looked at me like I hade done something wrong, I already knew I had.

"I don't care what people says. Bella needs me." I didn't notice at first, but I was also crying, but I wasn't going and I didn't care. _My_ Bella is hurt.

I walked over to her and sat down. I stroke her hair a few times, I kissed her bruised forehead, and I took her hand. I sat by her side, sobbing and I keep whispering; "Wake up, Bella. Please, wake up." and "I love you. You can't leave me, it's not fair. I haven't done anything so wrong I deserve to lose the most wonderful, beautiful, most precious thing in my life."

My mother came over to my side. She stroke my back and kissed my head, then she walked to the door.

"Bella's parents are here if you want to talk to them." She said before she left. I shook my head and bend foreward to kiss my Bella's swollen lips softly.

"Bella, don't you dare to leave me, I sweare if you die, I'll do whatever I can to bring you back to me. Even if it takes to take my own life, I will do it."

I sat like that for ten minutes, telling her that she could't leave me, and then my stomach started to growl._ I'm hungry_, I thought. As Alice should have done, I pressed the 'call' botton. After a few moments, a nurse came walking in. She looked me over and smiled a small smile.

"Stay here with her till I come back, please." I said in a whisper. She nodded once and I stood up. "Thank you." I looked away and walked to the door and out. I walked down the hall to the elevator. I pressed the 'down' botton that led to the third floor.

I hate the feeling you get when you take a elevator. I ignored them this time. When the elevator doors opened on the third floor, Renne stood right infront of me with Charlie. He was holding her and she was crying.

She looked up and saw me. "Oh Edward!" She cryed and flung her arms around me. I held her and started to cry.

"I'm so, so sorry Renee. I should have been there." I whispered, but she shook her head.

"No, honey. You couldn't have done anything. Please don't blame yourself!"

"She's right Edward," Charlie said sadly. "It's not your fault. You couldn't have done anything." A tear ran down his cheek. Renee let me go, and stepped back to Charlie, who wrapped his arms around her. Then my stomach started to growl again.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I have to go now, I have to eat something. I'm sorry, a nurse is up with Bella. I didn't want to go without knowing that someone is with her. I have to go, I can't do this." Tears started streaming down my face again. I walked past Renee and Charlie towards the bathrooms.

When I got in, I washed my face. I tryed to get back to normal before I got out of the bathroom. When I got to the cafeteria mom, dad, Alice and the rest of them was sitting at a table.

"Edward!" Alice called as she cought sight of me. She hopped to her feet and ran to me, embracing me as fast as she got here. "Edward I'm so sorry." I hugged her back, but I couldn't get why she was apoligizing. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so sorry!"

"Why do you keep saying I'm sorry? Your apology is already accepted." I said confused.

"I shouldn't have said that, and I shouldn't have asked the nurse in the first place when we got here.."

"It's okey Alice, I would have found out sooner or later. I would have reacted the same way. And I'm sorry for yelling at you, but I just couldn't take the pressure. I was over thinking." She looked up with tears in her eyes. I know we all have reasons to cry, but this was just too much.

"Alice, please. Stop crying, I can't take it anymore." I said sadly. She realesed one of her hand and quickly wiped away her tears.

"All done!" She smiled wryly. I chuckled lightly at her, she can always make me laugh, anytime.

"I love you Alice." I said and kissed the top of her head.

"I know you do." She said with a small laugh. "We'll get through this, don't worry. I promise."

"Thank you so much Alice. You're the best sister a boy can have." I said, my eyes started to tear again, but I quickly blinked them away. I've already told Alice not to cry, and right now, I don't want to feel like a hypocrit.

Like she had read my mind, Alice said, "It's okey to cry Edward. You have the biggest reason." She was looking at me, and I was looking at her. But it felt like I haven't noticed.

* * *

**I just wanna tell you people that I really need reviewes like a encouragement to keep on reading. You will only waste three precious minutes of your life, tops! Please review and tell me what you think! So far I have only recieved a few reviewes and those were really nice. Some people said they loved it and can't wait to read the next coming chapters! I really appriciate it. :) So please review, I always answer. **

**The seventh chapter will probably be out tomorrow! Bye.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hi! I'm back with the seventh chapter! But just so you know, Edward will mostly think things through this chapter. I promise that I will continue to write a chapter every day, but with the school starting soon, and lot's of horse things going on, I will not be able to keep my tempo up. If I can't write a chapter one day, I will forewarn you. :) Now, ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 7. Waiting or hoping

EPOV.

Have you ever felt like your life has reached the rock bottom, and everything just sucks and your life is just wrong? Then you would take on that kind of a moment anytime, just to get a chanse not to go through what I do right now.

When you sit at home in your very empty feeling apartment, and you have no one to share it with, what do you do? Do you go out to the bar and try to get a one night stand? Do you hope to find the love of your life at the mall, or do you take a easy vacation to get away from your empty apartment?

When you thought that your life had taken the run for the best, and everything just falls apart, do you keep on going, or do ju just keep on hoping? Do you give up all hope or do you just keep on hoping on something that never will be able to be the same again?

So many questions, so little time. Or for my part, lots and lots of thinking. I have no one anymore. Sure, I have my family and Alice, but I don't have the only one I want.

I don't have my Bella, it's been like this for two weeks now, and I don't really know how much more I can take. I decided to go to the cafeteria, down to Alice, Renee and Charlie. They are the only ones who stays here with me. Emmett visits every day to get information and such. As usual I pressed the 'call' botton and after a few moments Julia came in, Bella's nurse.

"Hi Edward." She said, as usual.

"Hello Julia."

"I'll see you in a few moments." She said and then I knew that she would stay with Bella till I come back. We had made that to a habit of ours. Julia is Bella's nurse, and she is the one who gives Bella her syringes and other medical things. Dad is here to help sometimes but other then that it's just me, Julia, Renee, Alice and Charlie. Renee and Charlie has to go home sometimes, because of work. Alice has her boutique so I am the only one who sleeps here the most. I don't go to work anymore, I have fixed so mine and Bella's apartment has witheld right now. So the electricity, water and other bills don't need to get paid right now.

Julia and I have our conversations sometimes but nothing that hold memories. I have gotten over the tears-all-the-time thing.. My tear channel has almost dried out because of all my crying during the firt week. After that first week was over I stopped crying and just tryed to keep my emotions in check. Bella wouldn't want me to cry all the time. She hates to see me cry, I know that if she was awake she would have told me to not worry, and stop crying because it would make her cry, and that would have made me to stop because I hate to see her cry too.

She would have promised that she would be fine, "It's just a scratch." I chuckled to myself a bit as I walked to the elevator. I went down and into the cafe, ordering a meatball sandwich and coke. I sat down at my usual table and waited for Emmett.

"Hey Edward!" The usual voice echoed through the cafeteria.

"Hi Emmett."

"What's up today, has anything changed?" He asked carefully as he sat down.

"No, everything is the same as far as I know." I said, my hope falling a little bit. Bella's doctor, Dr. Ron Whaleton, hasn't been around for a while now. He comes up a few times a week to check Bella's vaules and... brain activity. A half week ago he told us that he feared brain failing because Bella hit her head so hard when she got run over exactly two weeks and three days ago.

"Oh," He said with a sigh. "That's well... not something I was hoping for."

"Hope," I whispered almost disgusted. Hope doesn't exist for me anymore. I just keep on waiting. We sat at tha cafeteria for a while, and then I decided to go back to Bella. I walked to the elevator, pressed the fifth floor botton and went up, and walked to Bella's room.

When I came in, an doctor stood there and checked her. And It wasn't a man, it was a woman.

"Excuse me, who are you? Why aren't Dr. Ron Whaleton here?" I asked carfully, I didn't wanted to sound like she did something that she shouldn't, she was just checking her values, but I didn't like the way people touched my Bella, she's mine and no one elses. But I can't make doctors not to make Bella healthy again.

"Oh, you must be Mr. Cullen. Yes, I am Dr. Tanya McCane." The woman said and turned around. She had long strawberry blonde hair, she had a beautiful face, but not as beautiful as my Bella's. She smiled at me warmly, but I didn't return it.

"Why aren't Dr. Ron here? I thought he was Bella's doctor." I said, it was maybe a little harsh, because her smile fell a little. "I am sorry for being rude, but I have a hard time right now. My girlfriend is in a coma, I have no one to talk to but my sister, who is rarely here, and Bella's nurse Julia, who isn't much of a talker." I said, looking down.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen." She said. "It's okey, I know how you feel. I lost my father when I was 15, I'm 20 now but I still feel the same pain." She said softly.

"Please call me Edward. Thank you for accepting my apology."

"No problem.. Edward." She said with a smile, this time I returned it. She turned around and checked some other things on Bella. Even though my father is a doctor, I don't really get much of all these medical stuff. "I'm just going to check her heart fraction and her brain activity. Dr. Whaleton informed me about the accident." She talked to me as she was checking Bella.

I didn't want to hear about the accident, so my hands shot up to my ears and then I started humming. "Please don't talk about it, I feel enough bad about it already." I said as I hummed.

She turned around an looked at me. She looked almost shocked, like I said something that she couldn't grasp. 'Sorry.' She mouthed and turned back to Bella. After a while I dropped my hands and apologized to her again._ I can't get it, why am I so rude? This isn't like me, I'm going insane at this hospital._

"Well, I'm done now. Just so you know, Dr. Whaleton is at vacation. He's at Bahamas with his wife, Anna and their three kids." She turned around and smiled at me. "All done. Things are looking better, her brain activity is okey and her muscels is still working."

"Thank you." She waved once and then she was out the door. I sat down at the chair next to Bella's bed, the chair was my bed for the moment, and took her hand and began my usual routine. "Please Bella, wake up. I need you. You don't know how much it hurts to turn around and you're never there to smile at me and kiss my lips like you used to."

A single tear ran down my cheek, over my lips and from them to my chin where it paused a few seconds and then it fell. After that, it was followed by many other tears. And I promised myself I wouldn't drop a single tear at this hospital agian, not until my Bella wakes up from her 'beauty sleep', as Alice had called it once of the many times I cryed so much it could fill a whole river.

"Edward, please." Alice begged. "It will get better, I promised that before, right?"

I nodded once, trying to push back the coming tears. She rubbed my back and kissed my cheek. "Think like this, Bella is sleeping her beauty sleep. It takes some effort to be as beautiful as she is, she got hurt and her body is trying to get back the beauty by sleeping!" I thougt about it, and it made it easier. She just has to get away the bruises and get better. Beauty sleep.

_Knock, knock. _I snapped out of my thoughs by the must have closed the door, because someone was knocking on it. "Come in." I said, wiping away the tears that had fallen during my pathetic begging.

"Hello sweetie." I turned my head enough to see the door, and in the opening stood Renee. I let go of Bella's hand en flew up of the chair, running to hug my other mother.

"Renee." I started to cry again. I couldn't help it, she was so good to me, almost too good.

"Oh, Edward don't cry. I came here to talk to you, not to cry with you." She laughed lightly and let me go, then she wiped away a tear that had escaped.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. I've missed you, where's Charlie?" I looked around her, but she was alone. _Odd, she always has Chalie with her when she comes here._ I though.

"Can we talk down at the cafeteria?" She asked.

"Sure, just hold on a minute." I walked over to Bella's bed and kissed her forehead, then I pressed the 'call' botton. After a few moments Julia walked in.

"Hello Julia, would you mind staying with Bella?" I smiled.

"You don't even have to ask Edward."

"Thank you," I smiled and she smiled back. "Well, shall we?" I asked Renee, and gestured towards the door. She nonned once and then we were off to the elevator. I don't know how many times I've rided this elevator from the entrence to the fifth floor, to the third floor and then up and down, and up again and so over and over for two weeks.

When we got down the the cafeteria we sat down at my table. "So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"Edward, you practically live here at the hospital. Go back to your apartment, go back to your job and start your life again. You can't live here at the hospital, as much as I hate saying this," Tears startet building in her eyes, they got shiney. "Bella might not ever wake up, you know that right?" She was crying now, and I couldn't hold back my tears either, not when she was talking like this.

"I know, but I can't leave her, what if something happens?"

"That's why there are doctors and nurses here, and they are well trained for this kind of stuff." She sobbed. "You can't make her wake up. Alice told me about the beauty sleep thing. I think she's right, it's like a beauty sleep, her body is building up her beauty again." She looked down and smiled a little, probably thinking about her doughters beauty.

It was quiet for a while and then I had to speak up. "I know Renee, but what if something bad happens, and I don't get here in time and.. I don't get to and.. what if, and..." I couldn't talk about death and Bella together, so I just started to stammer.

"Shh, Edward." Renee soothed and got up. She walked over to me and made me stand up, then she embraced me and started to whisper. "Don't you give up hope on Bella, she's a though girl, she'll come through, she just needs to repair her beauty." She looked up and smiled and then stepped away.

"Thank you Renee. I'll think about it." She shook her head.

"Don't think about it! You need to see your friends, and you parents and most of all Alice, she's crying herself to sleep at nights because she knows that you are suffering more then you should." She said with sad eyes.

"I know, mom told me." I looked away. _I_ feel bad about making _Alice_ feel this way. I'm her little brother, but it still feels like I'm her big brother because I'm the one who ends up comfort her all the time. Like when she had boy problems a long time ago, I was the one who told the guy to back off and then comfort Alice as she cryed out. I have never had to do that with Jasper, though. He's the best guy I could ever imagine for Alice, she loves him and he loves her. It's so clear.

Renee took my face in her hand to make me look at her. "Edward, do as I tell you, it'll do you good. I promise." She smiled. She stood on her toes to kiss my cheek, I bent down so she could reach properly. "You're a good boy Edward, do what moma Renee tells you to. I love you sweetie, I just want the best for you." She smiled.

"Thank you Renee, I love you too." She waved a good bye and walked away, she probably had work. I didn't blame her for talking to me about my own life. I'm inconsolable, and I'm hurting Alice. I could still visit Bella every day after work, and I could ask about just working 75% instead of 100%. Then I would only work until three. That would be great.

I went up to tell Bella. I know that she's not awake, and that she is still in a coma, but I still talk to her, hoping that she will hear me. No, not hoping, waiting and wanting.

I sat down at the chair and started to talk to my beloved about my life changing plans. "Bella, I'm going to go back to our... my life. I'm not going to leave you, I'm just going to go live at our apartment again, and go back to work. I know you would want that if you were awake, so I'll do that. But I promise to come visit you every stinking day. And I'll wait for you, always. I promised you that before and I'll do it again. I will wait for you, because I love you, with all my heart. Get better love." I said and bent foreward to kiss her lips once more before leaving.

"I love you." I said again before walking out of room 352, my hospital home, the temporary home of the love of my life, _my_ Bella.

* * *

**Hi, I had a hard time writing this chapter. My fantasy got to the brain brake, and I didn't know what else to write! But I hope you'll like it anyways. Rivew please! I don't feel like writing further on this story if I don't get any encouragesment by those who is reading it! **

**I got help from my wonderful friend, Magda, to sort the whole story out! She just kept on talking about everything that could happen and such. So I just have to write it all down! But I have a hard time to make everything work in so many chapters. I'm aming at like 20-30 chapters. I like to write everything at once, and that's hard. So I justh have to strain myself a while. :)**

**The eight chapter will probably be out by tomorrow night. Bye!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Sorry if I have spelled anything wrong. I don't have any time to check the whole story.**

**Hi! Wow, I just checked the story historic and I got stunned! 140 hits this suturday, the 14th! Thank you so much to everybody who has been reviewing and reading, I really apriciate it. Keep on reviewing and reading, that will give me encouragement to continue writing this story. **

**Ready, set, READ!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 8. News

EPOV.

Terrible things happens all the time. People die all the time, and every minute a child or an adult in africa dies by starving. People get into car craches, sometimes they die and sometimes they, miraculously, survive. People get run over, and at this occasion, my Bella is one of them.

Sometimes these people, that get run over, survives, and sometimes they don't. And this time, we don't know.. That's kind of frustrating, I mean, not to know when the love of your life will die, or when she'll wake up. Is she going to remember?

"Day dreaming again?" Jasper asked me. He and Alice came to visit me at our apartment. It was three weeks ago when Renee told me to get back on my feet and start my life again. The only thing she don't know is that my life can ever be the same, because Bella isn't here. I don't know if she ever will again. I-

"Hello, Edward down to earth!" Alice spoke up this time, waving her hands infront of my face. "How is work?" I blinked a few times, remembering what we were talking about before I started to drown in my, not so happy, deep thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just thinking alot these days. Work is... fine I guess. Not such a big deal, people are very careful around me, trying to not bring up the wrong things during a conversation. It's quite irritating that people can't act normal around anymore." I sighed, taking deep breaths. "I know that the thing that happend was and is terrible, but people can't think 'poor Edward, we must pity him.'" I made an bad immitation on my boss and Jasper and Alice startet to laugh carefully.

"I know Edward, but they do it because they know what you feel." Alice said softly, and Jasper nodded in agreement.

"I know.." I said with a sigh. I turned and looked at the clock, it was thirty past two - My shift ended earlier today - and I'm going to see Bella in half an hour. Another half hour of torture.

"Stop being so anxious Edward. You can see Bella now if you want to, we can't make you stay here if you want to se her." Alice said.

"Yes, go. We don't need to stay here, we have work to do anyway. Alice needs to paint the bathroom in her boutique." Jasper agreed.

"Thank you guys." I smiled. Then I was off towards the door. I was always in a hurry to get to Bella, I drive like a maniac and I press the elevator bottons too many times to get up. I just feel so anxious to get to her because I don't know how she is. If something has changed or so. This far, she is stable, but things can change.

I arrived at the hospital and the clock was 14.45 and Bella was waiting for me. She hasn't woken up yet, but I still talk to her, just like I did before when I 'lived' at the hospital.

I walked to the elevator. I didn't press the botton more then three times, I have pressed that botton more than anyone this past four years, I'd bet.

When the doors opened I ran to Bella's room. I walked through the door saying "Hey Bella." And then I stopped.

Renee and Charlie sat crying at Bella's bed and Dr. Whaleton stood next to them. "What's going on?" I said schoked and terrified.

Charlie turned his head and looked at me and shook his head. I had to ask, I couldn't do anything else. "Is she dead?"

"No, but I am so sorry Mr. Cullen, Bella's brain.. showes no activity... She's brain dead." He looked down, ashamed. I broke down to my knees and started to cry.

"But, no, no, NO! SHE CAN'T BE! DR. TANYA SAID SHE WOULD BE FINE! SHE PROMISED! EVERYBODY DID!" I screamed. "EVERYBODY TOLD ME SHE WOULD BE FINE! YOU LIED.." I started to rock back and forth like I did when I heard about the accident the first time. The tears were streaming down my face. _Everybody lied, they told me, and they promised and.. Now she's practically dead.. No, no, no.._

"I am so sorry, but we have some important things to discuss. Mr. and Mrs. Swan, do you want me to unplugg the respirator?" Dr. Ron asked.

"No," I cryed, it was kind of low, but they could still hear me. "No, please, no. She can wake up, I know she will. She just have to repear her beauty. Please.." I sat there and cryed and pleaded. I held my head in my hand as I stood on my bare knees, begging for time.

"No," Charlie said. "No, Edward's right, she could wake up right?" I looked up and saw him, he was looking at Dr. Ron who was looking at the floor.

"No, that's not a possibility, that would be impossible, a miracle." He said, shaking his head.

"But Bella is a miracle herself. She fell inlove with me, and that's a miracle, she survived this accident from the start, and that too is a miracle." I said, pleading.

"It just costs money to keep the respirator going." Dr. Ron kept telling us no, like he didn't want Bella to live.

"We don't care, we aren't about to lose our doughter because of some stupid money problem. We'll get the money, she will survive." Renee said and narrowed her red eyes to the doctor.

"Okey." He said, and it sounded tiny. He was scared. Renee stood up and walked over to me, I rose to my feet and hugged her tight.

"I know I promised. I know I did, I'm so sorry Edward." She cryed into my chest.

"I'm sorry too." I relesed Renee and looked down at her. I had stopped crying now. But I couldn't do this anymoore, I have to get out of here. I have to go. "I am so sorry Renee, but I just can't live like this, I can't do this anymore. I.. I don't.. I can't.."

I looked at Bella one more time and said, "I love you Bella." And then I was running. I took the stairs instead of the elevator. When I was down at the first floor I ran towards the door. At the exact moment I got out of the hospital I hit something hard and I fell to the ground.

"Ow, ouch!" I started to cry, but I don't know why. I felt so emotional, but I don't think it was because I fell to the ground, I started to cry because all of the pain I kept inside floded up to the surface of my body. I got up and turned around, and a woman started to get up across from me.

"I'm so sorry." A very recognizable voice said. She tured around and then I saw her face, it was Tanya. My anger bubbled up and then I had to let it loose.

"YOU LIED!" I screamed. "YOU PROMISED THAT BELLA WOULD BE FINE! YOU SAID HER BRAIN LOOKED GOOD AND NOW SHE'S BRAIN DEAD! HOW DO YOU THINK THAT FEELS LIKE?" I was crying even more now, it was hard. "YOU LIED!" She looked at me schocked.

"I'm sorry Edward, I-"

"NO! DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! IT'S YOUR FAULT I GOT FALSE HOPES! FALSE WISHES AND I WAITING, AND FOR WHAT? NOTHING.. NOTHING!" The tears were streaming down my face, my hands were waving and flaxing around my body.

I fell to my knees and my hand were up covering my face. "I can't live like this, I just can't.." I whispered.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I can do. I.."

"You can do nothing, Bella is gone, probably forever." I sobbed. "She's brain dead, but her parents wants to keep her to the respirator, they have _false hopes _about her waking up some day."

"I am so sorry Edward."

"Stop repeating 'I'm sorry', it won't help me get back my Bella, would it?" I said in a whisper and got up, wipined my eyes. "I have to go now. I have to get out of here." I started to walk away but Tanya started calling my name.

"Please Edward, can't we talk about it? Please."

"I don't want to talk about it!" I called back.

"Please, I.." Her voice started cracking, and I couldn't take more crying so I had to turn around and face her.

"I don't want to talk about my loss. There is nothing we can do to make her wake up. She is practically dead, we can do nothing." I said, giving her a apologetic look. "I don't know what else there is to talk about."

"I don't want us to say good bye like this.."

"What is there to say good bye to?" I asked.

"I don't want you to feel like this if this is the last time we'll see each other." She said, looking down.

"I know, but we just have to." I turned around and started walking again, she called my name, but this time I didn't care. I didn't want to care about anything anymore.

Further four weeks has passed since Bella was declared brain dead. Renee and Charlie calls every friday and tells me if there is any news, as everytime I don't expect anything about Bella. Renee had the talk with me again about my life. She told me that.. if I decided to move on, she would only support me, she told me that I had the rights to.

I didn't even consider it. It didn't feel fair, I promised Bella that I would wait, I did it before and I did it again. I can't break it, I know how I feel about everybody elses breaked promises to me.. I don't want to do that to her.

The love I have for my Bella is nothing like any other love. She's the air I breathe, she's the light in my life. She is my everything. I wouldn't be able to look at any other woman like that, ever. She's my world.

But I should probably put a _was_ infront of all of those things now. She is gone, forever.

* * *

**There you have it people! The eight chapter. I'll just tell you, don't give up hope on Bella yet! If she would die, the whole story would be ruined.**

**Sorry for being so late with this chapter. I actually cried while writing it, I feel bad about Bella and Edward's situation. Well, the ninth chapter will be out tomorrow! Bye.**

**PS. Review please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey guys. HEADS UP! This chapter will not be as long as the others, and it**** will not have much talking in it. It's much more of a thinking inside the head chapter. Edward has a lot of thinking to do, now when Bella is practically gone. **

**Edward is mourning and he is mad at all of the people whom promised that Bella would be fine, - ecpecially Tanya, one of Bella's doctors, - when she just got worse and at this point, she's almost dead. He don't know what to do and he have some decisions to make.**

**Read and enjoy, review when you finish this chapter, please! :)**

* * *

Chapter 9. Decision, thinking and choices

EPOV.

I have been sitting at the exakt same spot for hours now, and I want to get up, but I don't know were to go if I do. I'm sitting in my bowl chair and thinking about people, that have choices to do, and decisions to make, but to go through with the decisions and choices, you have to think it through properly.

I have my choices and decisions, and I have some things to sort out. I took a breake from work, but it wasn't my idea. It was Seth's. He talked to our boss and miraculously 'the boss', as Seth calls him, agreed. _I_ was heistant at first, but after a while, Mr. Taylor was able to convince me.

"Edward, do as I tell you. I know that you are hurting, I heard about it all. So do as I tell you, please."

"I don't know, I need this job, how else do I get money to pay the bills?" I asked confused and a bit sad, did he have to bring up the accident subject? Those kind of conversations make me want to sit down and cry, and I would like to not do that here, at work, infront of Seth and our boss.

"You get your paychecks every month that passes, you just have to work a little bit extra when you come back." He smiled. _Crap, now I don't have anything to put against him. _I had one thing left that might work.

"But, I don't know what to do if I don't have work. That's the only thing that I have to distract me, please." I said, giving him mine and Alice's pout. Bella used to call it our famous mountain moving pout. I miss her.

"Start horse riding or something. Find something else for the moment." I was wrong, it didn't work. That's how my tuesday ended.

Sometimes people have to choose between easy things like going to the mall or not. But what if you have to choose between leaving someone, but if that person left you first, but not meaning it, how do you keep your life going if you have so much pressure on you? And how do you leave that someone if that someone left you first, but didn't intended to?

You have choices and decisions to make in your life, but to make decisions and choices become real you have to think them through properly. Some choices don't change your lifestyle, but some do. Drastically.

Things change all the time, but some things stay the same. My life has changed, and I didn't want it to. Now I have choices and decisions to make, that I would avoid if I had the chanse to. I don't want to leave Bella, I promised her to wait once, and then I did it again. I can't just breake my promise to Bella, beause I know how much it hurts to be promised something and then it all falls apart. But I don't know how to live without her. I don't know what to do..

_Riiiiiing, riiiiing, riiiing. Beeep_. Oh, yeah, I don't answer my phone anymore. "Hey Edward, it's me, Alice. I want to talk to you, pick up, please. I know you're there, I can hear you breathing. Okey, I can't but I know that you are home. I need my big little brother Edward right now. I miss you, so call me. Love you, bye."

All of my phone calls have been about how sad everybody know I am, and that I would like to be by myself for a while. Emmett called once and said he would kick my door in if I wouldn't answer my phone, but he never showed up.

All my calls sounded like this; 'please pick up', 'I love you' and 'I miss you' and things like that. I feel bad about cutting out of my family, but I can't keep doing this. People treat me like I'm breakable. Like I can't handle a normal conversation. I don't want to be treated that way.

Mom called me yesterday and told me that she had been talking to Renee and that she had told her what she had been talking to me about. She thought she was right.

"Edward, as much as I hate saying this," She sobbed. "Bella might not ever wake up again. Right now, there is no brightness in the dark. You have to think about moving on."

"I know, but I promised Bella, I promised her I would wait. I did." I whispered.

"I know honey."

"We say I know quite alot these days. I'm beginning to get sick of it." We do say I know alot now. People agree with me too much. It's wrong. I have much thinking to do, and I can't talk to people, because they make me uncomfortable and confused.

Tanya called me once, she wanted us to go and eat dinner sometime, and get to talk some. I said that if we would meet in town some time, then we could have a coffee or something, but not dinner. She said she really feels bad about how our last conversation ended. The problem is, - I don't.

Charlie and Renee calls me every friday to tell me that they still keep Bella trapped up to the respirator. They don't care how much money they have to pay, they just want their Bella back, just as much I do. Everytime, I ask about Bella, if there have been any changes, every single time I get a punched in the face with the same answer. "No, she's still... not Bella. We're so sorry Edward."

After I had hung up, I sat down in our bowl chair, that Bella once named Esther, and cryed for 15 minutes and then I was done, I just sit here and say nothing, because I have no one to talk to and no one I want to talk to. That's hard.

I sit here and pity myself, and cry and do nothing good at all. I have a sister that I'm hurting, I have cut myself out of my family, and I don't know how to fix it. The only solution I can come up with is to visit them. But I don't know if I can make it, or if they even want me there with them at all anymore.

I haven't talked to my famile for over two weeks now, and that's wrong, so I decided to call my poor sister. It took three notes before she answered.

"Hi Edward!" Alice said happily.

"Hey, Alice. I'm so sorry, I know that I'm hurting you by ignoring your calls and not talking to you, but I don't know what else to do. I need you to take care of me, but I know that you can't, that's why I never asked. And I don't want any pity, but I feel like I need it. I'm so confused. Please help me." A tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away.

"Edward, I will always take care of you. You just have to ask, tell me what to do and I'll do it for you, that's why I'm your big sister."

"I need you to tell me that everything will be okey, without promising anything. Because every promise that have been made to me, just got blown away by Bella's beeing brain dead. She left me!" I was crying now. I just had to talk to someone, and that someone was Alice or Bella.

"I know Edward, and I'm so sorry, I don't know if she will be okey, but I really hope and think so. I promise you not to promise something." She laughed a little, high but tiny so Alice laugh. Like a giggle but it's too high.

"You can always make something bad sound good." I laughed with her through my tears. "Alice," I said seriously. "Can I come visit you, at mom's? After everything that I've done, is that okey?"

"Of course it is Edward! Don't ever think that you're not welcome at your own family. That make's me sad!"

"I'm sorry, but that's how I feel. Bella left me, and that made me leave you, tecnically, and I'm sad." I said sadly, hoping that she would hear me. "She left me."

* * *

**There you have it people! I know I'm really late, but I have been publishing some chapters around 00.08 sometimes. And I know that it is soo much shorter then the other chapters, but if I would put the family visit in here it would just make this chapter too long. I hope you did enjoy this short chapter, and the tenth will be out tomorrow!**

**Feel free to review, I would really appreciate it. :) I love you guys! Bye.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hi. I'm here with the tenth chapter. :) I'm really excited for the eleventh chapter, actually. You'll know when you read it tomorrow, the 19th of August. ) The last chapter got quite short, and I'm sorry for that, but this will be as long as the others are. And I'm sorry if I have spelled anything wrong. :) The normal length I write in a chapter is around 2000 words, or 2500 words. **

**Ready, set, READ!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 10. Forgiving

EPOV.

I think about people quite alot. I like to think 'people' instead of myself, because most of the times, that I think, I think of people instead of me. It makes it so much easier to think. So.. people have to forgive and forget things that has happend in the past or in the now to move on, but how do you do that if you have deep scars form the happening? And how do you move on if you don't want to.

I have decided to visit my family. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I wake up. And then I lay wondering if you should do the right thing.. But what if the right thing makes you unhappy and miserable? I know I don't want to put another person in pain because I choose to move on. If you don't want to hurt people, and you don't want to hurt yourself, how do you do the right thing?

It took me an hour to call my mother. My own mother! I couldn't pick up the freaking phone, and dial a easy number to my mother. I feel like a coward, but I just had to get the time and work up my courage. I sighed a deep sigh and then I pressed the bottons down. Now I don't have any reason to freak out. It took four rings.

"Hi mom." I said before she even got time to answer.

"Oh Edward! I'm so happy you called. Oh honey."

"Yeah, it took some time to even call, actually. I'm so sorry mom. I know it was wrong of me to cut you all out, I didn't mean to."

"It's okey honey, I know why you did it, you have your reasons. You have had the most rough months, it's only fair to give you time to work things out!"

"I love you mom. I don't deserve your love and understanding.." I sighed.

"Of course you do honey! You have all the rights in the world to be sad and unhappy right now. You lost the most important person in the world for you, it's hard." She sighed and sobbed quietly.

"Mom, don't cry. I called to ask you something." I took a deep breath and held it.

"Yes honey?"

"Plase, can I come home and live with you for a while?"

Silence, not a good sign. It was quiet for a little while longer, and then I heard my mother begining to sob again. "Mom, it's okey. I don't have to come home, I just want to." I sighed and tears began to build in the corner of my eyes.

"Of course you can come home honey! That's why I'm crying. I never thought you would ask!" I blinked the tears away and smiled a little. God, it felt good! I haven't smiled in many months. Not an actual happy-smile.

"Thank you so much mom. I love you. Can I come down tomorrow?"

"Sure you can honey. I love you too. See you tomorrow." I smiled a bit more.

"Thanks mom. Bye." I hung up after that, missing mine and Bella's game we used to play. _Who could hang up the phone first? _I miss her...

Time for packing and nothing more than feeling realived to get home again. _Our_ apartment don't feel like home anymore. Once before, I could call it home, but a piece in the puzzle is missing. Someone to share my ex-home with. My ex-home for now.

I miss being a part of loving for real and I miss being a part of happiness. Right now, I don't have time to feel pity for myself. I have to pack my things and go to bed. I don't want to get late to my family reunion.

I woke up around nine this morning, feeling nervous. I don't know why I feel nervous to meet my family again.. It's probably because I haven't seem them in two months now. I think this weekend will be great, though.

I ate my breakfast, cereals and milk, and threw on some clothes, a botton up shirt and a pare of jeans. Then I took my bags and walked out of _our _apartment, turned around and locked it, hopefully forever. Well, I can't hide from it forever, but I hope this is the last time I have to lock it up in a while.

The drive was easy, airy and nice. I bought some snacks to have during the drive and got on the road. Along the way I drove past a car crash, and that made me breake down, I cryed almost all the way to Port Angeles and then I sat wiping my eyes every five minutes and then I saw the sign that said; The city of Forks, welcomes you.

That made me smile a little again, and it felt just as good as the last time. I arrived at my parents house five minutes later. I got out of the car, I decided to leave my bags for now, I took a deap breath and walked up to the front porch and walked in. I didn't want to knock on the door, that would feel awkward.

"Oh Edward! I have missed you so much honey!" My mom cried as I walked into the livingroom.

"Hey mom. I've missed you too. Where's Alice? I really have to talk to her.." I gave my mother a hug and then I kissed her cheek.

"She's upstairs on her room." I smiled and nodded once, then I walked into the kitchen and said hello to my father, then I walked upstairs to Alice. I knocked on her door once, I wanted to surprise her so I didn't say anything.

"Yes?" Alice said, and then I walked in. "EDWARD!" She squealed. "Oh, Edward! I've missed you so, so, so, so and so much!" She jumpud up from her bed and into my arms that was waiting for her. I hugged her tight and buried my head into her spiky hair.

"I have missed you so much Alice, I can't believe I did this to you. I've hurt you, will you ever forgive me?" She nodded several times and turned her head and kissed my cheek once more.

"Of course I do Edward. Don't ever think that I hate you, because I don't. Okey?"

"Thank you Alice. I love you, and I need to talk to you!" I put her down on her feet again and smiled at her. _All this smiling makes me feel good! I can't believe I didn't notice it before when I experienced real happiness.. _That thought made my smile fade.

"Aww, Edward." Alice said sadly. "I need to talk to you too. I hate seeing you so sad." She smiled a sad smile.

"I know, I don't look into the mirror anymore. I'm afraid of what I'll see." I looked down and admired my shoes.

"C'mon, let's go and have dinner with mom and dad!" Alice said enthusiastically, to lighten the mood. "Ok." I whispered back. We walked down, hand in hand, together and into the kitchen where are parents were waiting.

"Hey kids." Dad smiled. He and mom was sitting at our little dining table, wich was full of barbecued food.

"Hi mom," Alice said and kissed Esme's cheek. "Hi dad." She walked over to Carlisle and gave him a hug. "Hello pumpkin." We sat down and ate. During dinner, we talked alot, only bright convesations. No one mentioned Bella, but of course Alice asked, she's so worried.

"No.." I answered. "She's still.. not awake." I put my fork on the plate and looked away. I didn't want to speak about it. It would only make me cry again. And I promised myself in the car that I wouldn't cry during this week.

"Okey, who wants desert?" Our mother asked. We just looked at her, it was obvious. "Oh, right. I don't need to ask, stupid me. I have forgotten about that habit of ours." She laughed a bit and we laughed with her. Or, Alice and dad did, I just smiled a little, still a little raw about the turn that our conversation had taken.

Our mother walked out with our plates and then after a few moments, she came out with a key lime pie. "EEEEEE! Yummy, key lime pie. Two pieces for me please!" Alice started to bouns up and down in her shair, she's adorable. We all laughed at her, I had to join this time. She's so sweet, and she is suposed to be my big sister. We ate a piece each, but of course Alice had to take another one.

After a while, I noticed that we were a person short. "Hey, where's Jasper?" I furrowed my eyebrows, I was confused. I didn't point out that we were actually two people short. I didn't want to bring up the subject again.

"Oh, he had to work." She looked a little disappointed. "It's okey, though. He said he was sorry, and that he really wanted to come." She smiled a little, he must have done something to her that I rather not picture in my head. Ugh.

"Okey," I said simply. We had really fun later that night. We played memory and we talked ha whole lot. Alice didn't know that I'm planning to stay here for a while, so I decided to surprise her. We were up at my room, talking and stuff. Catching up.

"Hey Alice, do you want to know a secret?" I smiled.

"What?" She asked and her whole face lit up. She loves secrets.

"I'm moving home to mom and dad for a while!" I smiled and she smiled back.

"Oh, Edward! That's great, but..." She looked concerned about something.

"What?"

"How are you planning to see... uhm.. ah. Bella?" She looked away. I thought about it for a while. I hadn't been thinking about that, actually. It doesn't matter if I_ see _her, it will be okey if Charlie and Renee calls me to tell me some new, if there is any, and tell me that they still have her plugged to the respirator.

"It will probably be okey if Charlie and Renee calls me every friday as they have done every week for the last month." I sighed and she looked up again. "I don't have any reasons to wisit her... anymore. I just- I.." I turned my head away from her, and I could feel tears began to burn and threatening to flow over.

"Shh," Alice said and got up, hugging me. "It's okey, I know. Shh." We sat on my bed and she held me when I was crying and explaining why I couldn't take it anymore. I told her that I wanted her to go and talk to Bella sometimes when she got the chance, and tell her about my decisions, because I know that I can't do it myself.

Some night I wake up and picture Bella standing infront of me, blaming me for leaving her. I know that Bella would understand if she was awake, but if she was awake I wouldn't have to leave her. I wouldn't have to move on, because she would be here and there with me all the time. No regrets, no going back.

Telling Alice this was the hardest thing I have ever done, except for making these decisions that I told her about. She asked if I had found someone new, and I told her the truth.

"No, there will never be anyone else for me then Bella. I will never be able to feel this way again, it's over. I can't control it."

"I understand, but you don't know that yet. You haven't met all the worlds women." I got a little mad when she said that, I looked up at her with teary eyes and spoke a little harder, if you get what I mean.

"Alice, how would you do if the situation was reversed? If you were the one who had to make the choice by leaving the love of your life? Even though she is practically dead? Would you leave Jasper for someone else that you know you wont love as much as you love him? If you don't want to hurt that someone new, by telling that someone you loved someone else even more, because you want someone to be there and support you, how do you do it then?"

She looked down at me chocked. _Wow, I never thought I would say that out loud. _I have been thinking about it for so long, but I know that it's the truth. It's the rough, hard truth. Over and out.

* * *

**There you have the tenth chapter! Sorry that I'm so freaking late with it! The most of you will read it tomorrow, or, today actually, August the 19th. Well, the eleventh chapter will be out today night! ^^**

**Just so you know, my school starts the 23th and then I will probably not be able to keep the chapters rolling day by day, but I'll try my very hardest! I promise you on that. :) Bye.**

**ANN PLEASE, REVIEW PLEASE! x)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hi! I really want to thank you all for all of the kind reviewes! I love that you love my story. :) That really makes me wanna write two chapters daily! I'll try my best to write a chapter day by day when school starts here in Sweden! I promise to forewarn you if I can't write. :) I'm sorry if I have spelled anything wrong. Now, ready, set, READ! And enjoy. ;)**

* * *

Chapter 11. Unexpected seeing

EPOV.

I have been home now for almost a week, and I can't stop loving it! It feels so good to be home around my family and my old friends. We keep_ that_ conversation subject out of the way, and just enjoying for now. I have decided to go back to Seattle and pick up some other stuff, I just brought clothes and bathroom items. I've been planning to visit Bella once more before I move home for full time for quite a while.

I feel sad about not beeing able to see Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. I won't be able to see them for hopefully a long time. I say hopefully because I hope to be staying here in fors for a while. I will se Alice now and then, she comes here quite often to visit mom and dad. She feels bad about having to be busy with her boutique. I have fixed so I'm transferred from Starbucks in Seattle to Starbucks here in Port Angeles. Just an hours drive away from our house.

"Well," I said with a smile as I walked into the kitchen. "I'll say hello to my very beautiful mother." I gestured towards her dress. _Why was she wearing it?_

"Oh thank you honey." She smiled back.

"Why are you so dressed up? Are you and dad going out tonight?"

"Yes," She said and looked down. "We are having dinner at the restaurant.. uhm.. La Bella." _Oh, that's why she looked so uncomfortable._

"Oh.. Okey, have fun." I smiled a little. "It's okey, I just.. uhm, I'm a little overwhelmed. I'll be right back." I walked out of the kitchen and up to my room. I packed my backpack and sat down on the bed. I took a few deep breaths, and then I decided I needed a shower. I took of my clothes and jumped in. The lukewarm water was comforting and soothing.

I got dressed and did anything that would drag out on time. I sighed and headed down to the livingroom, dad was there.

"I know where you are going. Don't say it out loud, please. Have fun tonight. I'm going back to Seattle to pick up some things, and then I'm coming home tomorrow again. Okey?" He looked sadly at me and spoke up.

"I won't say a word. I'll see you tomorrow son." He nodded once. "Go and say good bye to your mother too. I love you, bye." He walked up to me and gave me a hug. Then I walked towards the kitchen and he up the stairs.

"I'm sorry Edward," My mother said as I approached her.

"It's okey, I'll see you tomorrow." I kissed her head and gave her a hug.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm heading back to Seattle for the night, to pick up some things I didn't bring a week ago. I love you mom, have a great night, don't care about me. I am overreacting, I'm working on it. Bye." She nodded once and said a quiet 'I love you' and then I didn't hear more.

I was off towards the door. I called another "Bye." And then I was walking towards my car. I don't know why I had such a hurry to get away. I'm happy, as happy as I can be in this state, here. I thre my backpack in the carseat next to me and put the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life, tt spun nice and quietly. I backed out of the parking spot annd drove towards the highway.

I was speed driving for a while before I got out of Forks and passed through Port Angeles. The rest of the drive was.. quiet. I was so used to talking to someone when I did this drive. If it wasn't my mother or father, it was Alice. If it wasn't Alice, it was Jasper or Emmett, and if not the guys.. It was Bella.

It was dark when I arrived in Seattle. You could see the signs and all the lights that lit up the city. It was nice, but quiet. I drove straight to _our_ apartment. I parked on _our_ usual parking spot and got out of the car. I grabbed my bag and locked the car, then I walked off to the elevator.

I pressed the botton that said '2' and went up. When the doors opened a couple stood infront of me, their heads were close and she was giggling and he chuckled quietly, she gave him a quick peck before they looked up as I walked pass them. I couldn't stand to look at them, it was hurful. My heart ached for _my_ Bella, but she couldn't come heal the pain.

I was very tempted to grab that guy's shirt and tell him that, "You have a great girl, and a great life, take care of it! One regular day, could turn into a nightmare before you even get the chanse to grasp it! Don't you dare to take it for granted!" I didn't bother to do it, I didn't want to stand and look at that couple that think that nothing will ever happen to them and their love..

I walked to _our_ apartment and locked it up, and I was hoping I wasn't going to have to open this apartment anymore. I was wrong, apparently. I walked in and got the things I had to, then I walked straight to _our _bed and lyed down, hoping I would fall asleep the minute I closed my eyes. I was yet again wrong. I was awake for maybe ten minutes more, then I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I did as all of the other mornings, I smiled and rolled over to the right side. _Nothing_. No beautiful, brown hair, chocolate brown eyed women layed smiling beside me._ Nothing_. I waved my hands in the air on the right side of the bed. I waved my hands in thin, empty air.

I sighed deeply and got up. I didn't want to experience anymore lonelyness. I went to the fridge an cheked for something to eat. _Nothing_. There's a lot of nothing today. _Oh, now I remember, I emptied the fridge a week ago. _I decided to he to the grocery store. I knew I had a big struggle infront of me. I have to cross the trasition point where Bella... got run over.

Speaking of wich, I never met the driver. He wasn't a runner, though. I don't know if Charlie and Renee did. I'll ask them when I get the chanse to.. I decided to not to think of it, so I walked to the hall and put on my shoes and jacket. I walked down the street to the trasition point.. I lingered at the same spot for several minutes. I probably stood there for half an hour. I couldn't do it. So I kept walking down our street and walked so I was several meters away from that point.

I looked to the right and then to the left so there wasn't any cars coming. I took a step out on the street and ran over. I didn't want to stay at that street anymore. When I was on the other side of the street I walked as fast as I could in to the grocery store. I bought a pack of sandwiches and some sallad, tomatos, ham, some cheese and some milk.

I know that I'm going to have to throw away the whole sanwich pakage, or I could just bring it home to mom and dad again. _Yeah, I'll do that. _I went home again, I took the same way. I skipped the trasition point and ran over the street, of course I looked for cars before I crossed, and then I half ran up our street again. When I got to the elevator I could relax. I sighed and pressed the '2' botton and went up. I walked, a bit faster then I would have normally, to_ our_ apartment again.

I went in, made my sandwich, ate it, took a shower, got dressed and packed some stuff. I decided to leave tonight, I wanted to visit Bella one more time. I took another sandwich and headed out. I skipped the trasition point, again, and headed towards the mall. I don't know why I decided to go there, but I just did.

I went to the cafe me and Bella would always go to when we were here. It's a nice little place with floweres here and there, and they have a little fontain in the middle of the place. It's beautiful and unique.

I ordered the usual, coffee and a brownie. Bella hate the taste of coffee, she always told me that I would get anymore kisses when I drank coffee. If she would have been here now, she would have said; "You ain't getting any kisses tonight, mister." And then she would kiss me anyway. I love her.

I looked around as I ate, and then I spotted a well recognized strawberry blonde hair in the back. _Tanya_.

* * *

**There it is! :) I hope you liked it. I'm so sorry, this chapter got really short, but I am so so tired, I couldn't write more then this, my fantasy isn't the best at nights. I'm too tired. x) But, I'll make it up for you! I'll give you a little insight info. For the people who are wondering if I am going to kill Bella, no I won't. That would ruin the whole story. Keep on reading and then you'll know what will happen with Bella. :) This story is going to contain at least 20-30 chapters. **

**I'll write the twelfth chapter tomorrow. Review please, I would really appriciate encouragement. Bye.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey, I'm back with the twelfth chapter. I had to do an research on Seattle and the restaurantes, and I don't know if Le Pichet is a restaurant in Seattle, but I think so, google said so. x) But sorry about the last chapter, I know it got really short. But I'm gonna make it up to you here. This chapter will be over 2500 words, at least! I promise that. :)**

**Now, ready, set and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 12. Date

EPOV.

_Tanya_. Why, oh why, did she have be here? She turned her head, and I hoped she didn't see me. I didn't want to seem rude or mean, but I actually hid my face. But she saw me. She got up and walked up to my table.

"Hey, Edward." She smiled.

"Hello Tanya." I straightened in my seat and smiled a little smile, but I didn't let it touch my eyes.

"Can I sit down?" I nodded and she took her seat. "So, how are you doing these days?"

I looked down and sighed. "How do you think? You don't feel so great when lose someone you'll love the rest of your life.. I feel like I'm empty."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I really am Edward. I didn't mean to give you false hopes, I did believe that she would be fine. I really did." I looked up and saw that se had tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry too Tanya. I didn't mean to blame you, every feeling that I held in bubbled up to the surface and I threw it all on you. Anger, sadness, all the bad feelings. I didn't mean too either."

She sighed and nodded a few times. Then we sat there in silence for a while, just looking away from each other. Now I felt bad about how our last conversation ended.

"Tanya, I'm sorry about the last time too.. How can I make it up to you?"

"You don't have to Edward, it's okey."

I took a deap breath, prepearing for what I would have to ask her. "No, I want to. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?" I asked and sighed silently. I didn't want her to hear the sigh, because she would know I made myself ask her that question.

"I'd love to." She smiled. I smiled back at her, but just like the last time, I didn't let it touch my eyes.

"Good." _Wait, does this mean that I'm on the market again? No, no. It can't be. _I started to panick. I can't be on the dating market agian! I still belong to Bella, she's my heart, my soul, my whole life! "Umh.. where would you like to eat?" I asked. _Not here, not here. _I prayed. _Not at mine and Bella's special place. No, no. _

"What do you think about Le Pichet?" She asked and I sighed in relief.

"I'd like that, I've heard that it's really nice there." I smiled a little.

"Great." She said. "Shall we meet there or?"

"Uhm, I could pick you up. Where do you live?" I asked. She told me her adress and then she had to leave. We said our good byes and said I would pick her up around seven tonight. I checked my wach and the clock was around three. I decided to call mom and dad to tell them about my plans and when I would come home again.

"Hello honey."

"Hi mom."

"How are you honey?" She asked.

"I'm fine, I guess. Hey, I have some plans for tonight. I have a... uhm.. a date? Uhm, with Tanya McCane, Bella's doctor. I kind of yelled at her the last time I saw her, and I feel bad about, so I decide-" I didn't got the chanse to say anyting alse, my mother cut me off.

"You did what?" She asked alarmed. "You don't yell at women Edward! You know I have raised you better then that. You have to apologize to her!"

"Yeah, I was kind of getting there. I decided to make it up to her, so I asked her if she would like to eat dinner with me tonight, and she said yes. So we are going to Le Pichet tonight and I'm picking her up around seven."

"Well, that's nice of you honey. How do you feel about it?" I sighed and thought about it for a moment.

"I feel wiered. I promised Bella that I would't move on. But I'm not moving on just because I have dinner with another woman, right?" I asked, feeling like a mean, lying and a promise breaking piece of shit. I told my mother that too and she sighed.

"Honey, you are non of those things! You are not breaking your promise to Bella just because you are having dinner with someone else."

"Thank you mom, I feel a little bit better now." I smiled a little to myself.

"Your welcome honey. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye." She whispered a bye, and then hung up. I didn't bother to play the game anymore, it was more fun with Bella. I took my tray with an empty coffe cup and walked to the 'put away' as Bella called it before. I did some other things that had to be done, like buying something for Alice and Emmett's birthday. Emmett has his the 21st of juli and Alice has hers the 15th.

I bought Alice a necklase in white gold and Emmett a dark blue shirt, I didn't know what else to buy for him. I decided to buy myself a button up shirt too, for tonight with Tanya. I didn't just want to use a regular outfit. Alice wouldn't approve.

I bought a white/beige botton up shirt. I got home and tryed it on, and it looked really good. Bella would have been proud, she was the one who used to buy my shirts and pants. I sighed and sat down on our bed. "What am I going to do?" I asked myself dropping my head into my hands.

"I don't know." I jumped and got to my feet. _Who the frick was that? _I looked around the room but no one was here.

"Hello?" I asked, still looking around.

"It's Alice, you dummy. Look over here." I looked towards the door and there stood Alice.

"That was mean Alice. You scared me!" I narrowed my eyes at her.

She laughed a little and walked up to me and threw her arms around my neck, and I wrapped my arms around her back and hugged her tight to me. She laughed a bit more and whispered; "There's a wild, wild whisper blowing in the wind, calling out your answeres like a long lost friend.." She sighed and pulled away. "But I don't have them."

"I know.. How did you find me?"

"I decided to go here and look for you because mom called and told me about you plans for tonight." She raised one of her delicate eyebrows at me. "Well, spill!" She demanded.

"Okey," I sighed. "I'm going to dinner with Bella's doctor, Tanya McCane. Have mom told you the story, or do I have to repeat why I asked her to have dinner with me?" I was whining, it felt like it. _Yep, I was whining._

"Mom told me, and I have to disagree with her, it's a date!" She said happily, wich just made me angry.

"Stop it, it's not a date! I will never date again. N-e-v-e-r!" I spelled it to her so she would understand it, she's stupid sometimes. And annoying too.

"Yes you have a date Edward, you asked her out!"

"No, I just asked her out for dinner to make it up to her!" I regretted that sentence just as I had spoke it. _Crap._

"EEEH! You totally said you asked her out! You admitted it yourself. Ha!"

I sighed and sat down on the bed again, I put my head in my hands and a tear fell. Alice hear my low sob and sat down beside me. "I'm sorry Edward, I didn't mean to make you sad."

I shook my head a few times and wiped my tears. "It's okey, it's my fault."

"No it's not! You can't keep taking the blame for what other people do! Just like you take the blame for not being there when that stupid drive ran over Bella! It wasn't your fault!" She sounded angry so I looked up. "Now, tonight, you are going to have fun!"

I narrowed my eyes at her. She knows full and well that I can't have fun anymore. "Okey, not fun but you are going to have a nice time tonight! You promise me that."

"Promises, promises." I said under my breath.

"Yes."

_Oh man, she have ears like a vampire._ "Fine, I promise I'll have a nice time tonight." I rolled my eyes and looked at Alice. She smiled and nodded once.

"Now, what are you going to wear?" _Of course she would want to know that.._

"This botton up shirt," I said and pulled the hem of the shirt I was wearing. "And a the pare of dark blue jeans I have that.. Bella bought. How about that?" I asked, chaning the subject. "Do you approve?"

"Of course, you'd look nice in that." She smiled.

"Thank you."

"What time are you picking her up? You are picking her up right?" Alice asked alarmed. I laughed and told her all about what we were going to do tonight. Alice said she hoped that I would keep in touch with Tanya, she said she sounded nice.

After we had talked, we watched a movie, we saw Oh, brother, where are thouh? It was Alice's choise, but it turned out to be really good! It's funny and a real entertaining film. We laughed alot, and it felt nice to have a real Edward and Alice moment. But when she looked at the clock, it was around five so she had to head home to Jasper who was soon coming home from work.

She said that he would probably want some dinner so she stood up and puffed her hair. A usual Alice move.

"Bye Edward, I had a really great time. We should do this again." She smiled. I stood up and puched a hand through the djungel on my head.

"I had a great time too, yeah, we really should." She threw her arms around my neck again and hugged me just as tight as the last time.

"I love you baby brother."

"I love you to big baby sister." She giggled into my neck and let go. She started to walk towards the exit of the livingroom, and at the same moment that she walked out of the room, she turned and blew a kiss to me, I catched it and held it to my heart. "Bye Alice." I called and then I heard the door to _our_ apartment shut.

I looked at the clock on my arm and it said three past five. I sighed and got up and headed towards the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich and sat down in one of the chairs in _our _little kitchen.

"What do you do when you have so much time, and so little to do?" I asked myself. I looked around and listened very hard. I didn't want to get frightened again, when an unexpectet answer blew out in the air.

I chuckled a little and finished my sandwich. "Now I just have to fix up for my..." I made myself say the terrible word. "date."

* * *

**THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE IN TANYA'S POV!**

**There it is people! The twelfth chapter. :) I kind of like it, but at the same time I don't! In the next chapter you'll know how Edward and Tanya's date turned out and you'll meet Bella's stupid car driver that ran over her, and his family! :D**

**I'll start writing the thirteenth chapter tonight. :D But I'll publish it so it'll be out by tomorrow at noon, I hope. :D Please review and tell me what you think about this chapter! I love you all. Bye! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey! This chapter is going to be so exciting! Because it's in TANYAS POV! I have been writing so many Edward POV for so long now so I decided there should be a change. But there will be an EPOV in this chapter, I'll change after a while. So don't get confused now, I'll write EPOV and draw a line under it. :) **

**I hope you liked the last chapter, I know I enjoyed to write it. :) Here you have the thirteenth chapter! I'm sorry if I have spelled anything wrong, but I hope you'll like this chapter anyway! **

**Now, ready, set and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 13. The present

TPOV.

_I can't believe I have a date with Edward Cullen! He's so gorgeous. But I feel a little bad about it, I know he loves Bella and not me, but I can't control my feelings, I like him, over and out.._

I took several deep breaths as I looked at the clock and it said 18:45. "Breathe." I told myself. I searched through my bag and checked everything. Mint gum? Check. Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. In the bottom of my bag was something hard and small. I grabbed it and pulled it out, when I saw what it was I remembered something I should have done the first time I saw Edward.

His present from Bella. Dr. Whaleton gave me that before he went to vacation, he was supposed to give it to Edward but he never got the chanse and the police wanted to check it before we could give it to him, but that was a long time ago.

I pressed my lips together, thinking what I would do. The only right thing is to give it back to him, even though it was Bella who was supposed to do that, but she'll probably never be able to. I feel sorry for Edward, he's hurting and I just did it worse.

I sighed and put it back in my purse, I'll give it to him during dinner. When you talk about the devil. _Knock, knock. _I squealed silently and ran to open the door, along the way I passed my big mirror. I looked myself over quickly and smiled, then I walked to the door. When I opened it i froze. He was so handsome! He had a wonderful biege and white botton up shirt and a pare of gorgeous jeans.

We stood there and just looked at eachother. I wore a white dress and had a biege pearl necklace, we match! I smiled at him and he smiled back. "Are you ready?" He asked.

"I'm ready." I nodded. We walked to his car, wich was really nice! "Wow, a Volvo C30 in shiny silver, not bad." I smiled and made a gesture towards his car.

"You know cars?" Edward asked and raised his eyebrows.

"Just because I'm a doctor and a woman, I can't know cars?" I asked him and raising one of my eyebrows at him.

"Oh, no. I just mean that it's.. cool!" He smiled.

"Okey." We laughed a little and got into the car. The drive was nice, he's a fast driver, really fast. We didn't talk much while he, though. We just listened to music in a low volume. We just sat there and enjoyed eachother's company. I thought about giving him his present, but I was afraid he would be mad or crash the car, that would be unnecessary. I decided to give him it when we were sitting safe and sound at our table in the restaurant.

We arrived there about ten minutes after I had thought through my plan. He parked the car close to the restaurant because it was raining, too bad, it had been such a nice day today. But sometimes rain can be nice too.

We got out of the car and laughed as we ran inside. We didn't get so wet, just almost. "Are you okey?" He laughed softly and touched my shoulder, I almost melted.

"Yeah, you know, I'm not made out of sugar." I giggled.

"I know, I meant did you survive my driving?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, why are you asking?" I smiled.

"Oh, uhm... Bella always got panicky when she saw the 'speedomater' as she called it." He looked away awkwardly. I didn't like this feeling, so I just changed subject.

"Let's get our table." I gestured towards the host who stood ready at the, should I call it reception? She stood behind a little desk and held a note block infront of her. It was probably bookings. Luckily I booked a table for two when I got home after talking to Edward at the cafe/restaurant in the mall.

We walked up and I spoke up. "A table for two." I smiled at her, but she couldn't seem to get her eyes of off Edward, wich bothered me. I cleared my throat, trying to get her attention.

"Ah, yes. Names please!" She said, smiling at Edward.

"Edward Cullen and Tanya McCane." Edward said softly, but didn't look directly at her. That made me smile. She looked down at her block and then I noticed the blush on her cheeks.

"Wow, wath a beautiful rouge you have. Wich color do you use?" I asked her, teasing her a bit, actually. I know she doesn't have a special rouge, sheäs just blushing because Edward smiled at her.

"Uhm.. I don't know." She stammered. "I'll show you your table." She said quickly. "Follow me. Your server will be out in a minute to get your orderes." I tryed to hide a laugh and I looked up to Edward and saw him shaking his head a bit, I couldn't see his face, so I didn't know if he was smiling or not. _Oops._

We followed the girl to a little table for two in the back of the restaurant. It was nice, there were flowers surrounding a little area on the wall that the table was placed against to and there were candels lightened on the table. It was so nice, so perfect for a date.

EPOV.

Tanya and I took our seats. She smiled at me and I smiled back, but I couldn't get over what she did to that poor girl, she embarresed her and that wasn't nice. I know that she didn't have a rouge on, it just wasn't a nice thing to do.

Just after a few minutes a tall dark man appeared at our table. He had dreads in his hair and it was long and dark. His eyes had the rarest color I've ever seen. They were shifting from red to black. He was dressed in a tux and he had a towel looking thing hanging over his right arm that he held maybe three centimeters away from his body. "Hello, my name is Laurent and I'll be your server tonight." He gave us menues he was holding in his left arm and asking us what we would like to drink.

I turned my head to look at Tanya, and she was looking at me. "Red wine?" I asked her. She smiled and nodded. "Then red wine it is." I said to the server. He asked wich kind and we just said he could take a bottle of some good tasting wine they had.

"I'll be right back with your wine and then I'll take your order." He said and walked out. We looked through our menu and I found something that sounded really good. Potato gratin with pork shop and red wine sauce on that, and then you have a nice glas of wine next to it.

"Have you found something you like?" I asked Tanya after I decided that that was what I would like to eat tonight.

"Yes," Tanya smiled and looked up from her menu. "I think I'll have the baked potato with sirloin and béarnaise sause on top of that and the red wine." She smiled.

"That sound good." I smiled. She asked me what I was having and I told her what my choice was.

"That really sounds taisty." She said and her eyes widened. "Yeah, it really does." She said and nodded a few times. I laughed at her and she joined in. After that our wine arrived. She got to taste it first, and she loved it, so I had a taste too, and it was really good. It wasn't dry and it wasn't too tasty. It was perfect.

"What would you like to eat?" The server, Laurent, asked and we told him what we wanted to eat. "I'll be right out with it." He smiled and walked away.

"So." Tanya said.

"Yes?"

"I have something for you." She picked her purse up from the floor and started digging in it. "You should have gotten this a long time ago." She picked up a little thing, it was blue little box looking thing and had a baby blue lace around it and a sticker was sitting next to it. She gave it to me and as I read the words, tears started building in my eyes. _To my wonderful, loving and beautiful boyfriend Edward Cullen. I love you with all my heart. Your Bella._

The tears escaped and rolled down my cheek. "Edward? Are you okey?" Tanya asked. I shook my head a few times. "Open it." I looked up and she was smiling a little. "She had it with her the day the accident happened. She was probably going to give it to you." I smiled a little and wiped the tears away. I sighed and opened the present. I got the gift wrap away and then there was a little black box in there. I opened it and in it was a beautiful silver bracelet, it was two silver chains twinned together. It was so beautiful, and it wasn't too feminine, it was perfect.

"Oh Bella." I said and shook my head as new tears rolled down my face. "It's beautiful." I wiped them away again, because from the corner of my eye I saw how Laurent was walking towards us with our food, and I must say _wow_. He was really good at carrying things. He had our food plates in one arm and they were quite large.

"Edward it's okey to cry." Tanya smiled. I chuckled a bit and put on the bracelet, Bella would have been so happy.

"Here you are." Laurent said and gave us our plates, and I must say, the food was so tasty and good! We had a great time during dinner. We laughed a bit and talked alot. Tanya told me fun storys from her work and some sad. But we didn't talk about Bella anymore, that would just make me sad again. I found myself looking at the bracelet alot, it really was beautiful._ I miss Bella._

When we were finished with our dinner we sat and talked a bit more at the table, it was still raining outside so we decided to stay a while. We talked about my work and such and I told her that I have moved back to Forks. She looked a little dissapointed, but she got ever it soon enough.

I checked the clock and it was five past nine. "We should probably get home soon. The clock is five past nine, it's getting late." I smiled at Tanya and she nodded.

"Let's get the bill." She smiled. She looked around and saw Laurent. He looked towards us and I raised my hand, gesturing towards us. He walked up and smiled.

"Yes?"

"We'll take our bill now." Tanya smiled.

"Alright, I'll be back in a bit." He walked out into the kitchen and remained there for a while, then he walked back to us with a note. He gave it to me and I looked it over. It wasn't too expensive here, it was fairly okey.

"I'll pay." I smiled towards Tanya.

"Okey." She smiled. I payed Laurent and thanked for the food and told him to tell the chef that we really enjoyed our evening. We half ran to the car again, it was a nice night outside, but it was raining. I drove Tanya home and followed her to the door.

"Thank you for a great night. I had a really nice time." She smiled.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did." I smiled. She leaned foreward a bit and I did the same without thinking. Then we were locked in a kiss. I didn't think, but I knew I did something wrong, so I pulled away. Tanya blushed and smiled. I had to smile back. I had to.

She kissed my cheek quickly and then she walked inside. "Bye." She said and closed the door.

"Bye." I whispered. _Why did I do that? Oh, this is wrong. I broke the promise. _I walked to the car and speed dove back to _our _apartment. When I got in, I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, after that I walked quickly to the phone and dialed the number.

"Alice! I need your help, now!"

* * *

**There you have it people! I know I said this chapter would be out by noon, but I was sleeping till a quarter past twelve. x) But now it's out. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I don't like the ending, at all. But I had to give this story a rough turn, so I made the kiss in my head come true. Sorry. :)**

**Thank you for all the rewieves I have received, things that you people write about my story really warms my heart! Please continue to rewieve and tell me what you think! :) Bye.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

_**********UPDATE: I don't have much time to write right now, but I'll catch up this weekend! I promise you that. And I'll start writing on friday, you just have to wait another day.**_

**Hey guys! I'm a little sad because I just got like two reviewes on the last chapter, and I'm sad because school starts tomorrow. :( It's fun to meet all of my friends and such, but I will not be able to write as often as I have these past two weeks. :'/ School starts at 09.00, and I will not be able to bring my computer to school. And then I'll be home around 16.30.**

**But I'll be happy again if you review much on this chapter! :D Let the reviewes roll in. :) Sorry if I have spelled anything wrong.. bla bla bla. The usual. :) This is the fourteenth chapter! IIH. ^^**

**Ready, set, and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 14. The 'getting through' talk

EPOV.

After I had hung up, Alice was at my apartment five minutes after. She ran through the door and she was panting. "Have you been running?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. She shook her head and put on hand on her knee and puffed.

"I.. didn't run.." She puffed. "I walked.. fast!" I started laughing at her, she's so cute. I walked up to her and lifted her tiny body up in my arms and walked to sit on the sofa. Usually Alice would have protested, but this time she didn't. She's too tired.

"So... What's the problem?" She asked. "Why did you want me to get over her _now_?" I sighed and put her down on the sofa, and then I sat down beside her.

"Tanya and I had a great time tonight.. It was nice, till we came to her house."

"What happened?" Alice asked and put her arm around my shoulder.

"I walked her too the door, and then we kissed." After I said that I put my head into my hands. "I broke the promise." A tear ran down my face. _Wow, I cry alot these days. _

"Edward." Alice said and lifted my head so I was looking at her. "Stop doing this to yourself. You are allowed to have a life! It's not your fault that Bella... You know. And you should be allowed to move on if that's what you want. But you don't have to, if you don't."

I sighed and lyed down on the couch so I had my head in Alice's lap. She started to brush my hair with her fingers and she hummed the old lulluby that she used to sing when I was little.. and sad.

"I'm not encouraging you to move on just because I want you to. I don't really want you to, because I hope and believe that Bella will wake up. I'm encouraging you to move on because I want to see you happy again. I hate to see you sat, you know that. I hate to see you sad just as much as you hate to see me sad. Right?" She asked. I nodded once and sat up to lift her onto my lap.

I lifted her tiny body once more and put her don on my lap and then we sat there hugging for quite a while. "I'll call Jasper and tell him I'm spending the night here with you. Okey?" She asked after a few moments.

"Okey." I said and she got up. She walked to the phone and dailed his number.

"Hey Jasper. I'm.. Yeah.. I'm with Edward, that's why I called you.." She stood there listening for a while. "Yes, I'm sorry I just ran out, but I had to. Edward had an emergency, it was important. Yes.. I called to tell you that I'll be spending the night here." Another moment passed. "Yes, I'll be back by tomorrow." She turned and faced me, giving me an apologetic look. "Yes. I love you too. Bye." She sighed and hung up.

"Was he mad?" I asked.

"No, just worried."

"So you ran?" I teased and she sighed.

"Yes I did. But it was an emergency." She smiled a little and sat down on the sofa again. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Yes. But no one with kisses." I said sternly. "I can't take any more kisses." She laughed and got up and walked to the DVD shelf.

"What about action? Or komedi?" I thought about it. _Komedi doesn't have alot kisses in it, does it?_

"How about action?" I smiled. "Do we have Matrix?" She checked the shelf and turned around to face me. She lifted a DVD up in the air so I would be able to see it. She shook it once and laughed.

"Matrix it is. But you should know that they kiss in this one."

"I can handle it." Before we started the movie we went to the grocery store and bought some movie snack. We had a really nice time, another one of those Edward and Alice moments.

"Alice." I said, shaking her a bit. "Alice. Hello?" _Oh, she's sleeping. Stupid me!_ I got up and walked to the kitchen, grabbing another sandwich. I should trow those away today. I'm not coming back here for a while I hope.

After I was done eating, I went to the sofa and layed down beside Alice, then I drifted away to a peaseful and dreamless sleep. I woke up the next morning to a loud _Kling_. "Shit!" Someone whispered loudly from the kitchen. _Alice_, was the first thought that hit me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, then I stepped to my feet and walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning my dear big little sister." I said and rubbed my eyes a little more. "Whats up?"

"I'm sorry, Edward. I broke one of your glass." I looked down on the floor and there was one broken glass.

"It's okey, I don't care." I smiled at her. "I won't need that many glass anyway."

"Okey." She said and started to pick the splinters up. "Hey, are you going home today? I mean home to Forks again?"

"Yeah, but I'm going to visit Bella one last time today... It feels wiered, and I'm sad."

"Oh, Edward." Alice said and put the splinters away, then she flung her arms around my neck hugging me tight." She does that alot these days. "It'll be okey. I know it."

"Yeah, I've heard that before." I whispered. She sighed and let go.

"Let's make you some breakfust." She smiled a little and pulled out the sandwiches, the sallad, the ham and the cheese. When she was done she filled a glass of mile for me and put it on our little dining table. "Here you are."

"Thanks." I sad down and ate. When I was done I went to our bedroom and changed my clothes and brushed my teeth. I washed my face too, I felt like I would need it. "Well," I said to myself. "Now I don't have anything more to do to waste the time I've got here." I sighed and walked out, when I entered the hallway, Alice stood ready with her shoes and jacket on.

"Hello there brother. You're looking good!" She gestured towards my clothes and I looked down.

"Wow, I didn't notice what I put on, I just grabbed something." When I said those words, I regretted them. "Crap." I whisepered under my breath. I had my reasons. Alice narrowed her eyes and looked at me sternly at the same time. _How does she do that? I will never know, because here comes the talk!_

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you don't just grab things from you closet and then put them on! I told you that before, you can't do that!" And then she kept lecturing me with her fashion talk and bla bla bla...

"Okey, I'm sorry, I'll never do that again! But I have to go now, I want to go home to mom and dad." I looked at her sadly from under my lahes and then I did my 'famous' pout.

"Oh, no mister! That pout will not work on me." She did her wiered finger thing and rolling her head and then snapping her finger on the end. _She's wiered._

"Let's go." I said and walked out the door, when she wous out I locked it. "Okey, do you want a ride to your place or are you walking?"

"Can I have a ride? I don't feel like walking, I'm a bit stiff from sleeping on the sofa." She smiled.

"Of course you can. Yeah, I feel a bit stiff too!" We went to my car and got in. I drove her home to Jasper and her's apartment, when I dropped her off she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and waved a good bye.¨

"I love you." She said when she closed the door. She looked at me for a second and then she started to walk towards the elevator. I took a deep breath and drove away, I didn't speed drive to the hospital this time like I would have before. No, I felt a bit nervous, but I don't know why. When I finally got to the hospital I took another deep breath and held it till I came in to the entrance on the hospital.

I breathed out and went to the elevator. "Hey old, very hated, friend." I said and pressed the down botton. The doors opened and I walked in, pressed the botton that said the number five and took another breath.

When the doors opened again, I got scared, because a thought hit me, _Tanya! _She works here, and it would feel awkward to be with Bella and knowing that the woman I kissed last night is in the same room, or even building!

I walked out of the elevator and headed towards Bella's room. When I got to the door, I didn't open it. I looked through the window next to the door, no one was there. I opened the door quietly and walked in. "Hello love." I said and walked to sit beside her. "How are you these days?" I waited for a minute, pretending that she could hear me.

"I'm so sorry, I know that I haven't been here to visit you for several weeks, well, not several but at least two or three weeks. I love you, but it hurts." A tear ran down my cheek, and stupid me pretended that she lifted a finger and brushed that tear away, making all of my hurt go away.

I closed my eyes to prevent other tears escape, and then a finger swept over my cheek. I opened my eyes in shock and I looked down at Bella, but she was still and pale, her eyes were still closed and her hand was laying in mine.

I looked to my right side and there was Tanya. "How are you?" She asked and smiled a little. I dropped my head and closed my eyes, hoping that she would go away. "Hey," She said and lifted my head. I opened my eyes and her face was very close to mine. I got scared and stood up, if she was about to kiss me, I didn't want her to do it infront of Bella, even though I know she's.. sleeping.

I walked out of the room, telling Tanya to follow me. "Come." I went to the elevator, because it was some kind of elevator hallway, if you could call it that. It's like a little room. Anyaways, I took Tanya there, but I didn't turn around until we were alone, and when I did turn around Tanya almost attacked me with a kiss. I pulled away after a while.

I can't say I didn't enjoy it, but it didn't feel right, not here. "Okey." I said quietly.

She just smiled and said, "Hey."

"I know, that this will sound wiered and stupid, but this doesn't feel right, not here, not at this hospital. I really like you, but here you are just Bella's doctor."

She looked at me confused and then a big smile spread across her face. Now I was the one who is confused. "What am I outside the hospital?"

"I don't know.." I thought about it for a moment. _She can't be my girlfriend, right?_ "What do you think?"

"I don't know either, but does the word girlfriend ring a bell?"

* * *

_******UPDATE: I don't have much time to write right now, but I'll catch up this weekend! I promise you that. And I'll start writing on friday, you just have to wait another day.**_

**There you have it! I will write the fifteenth chapter as soon as I can. I'll probably bring my computer to school, we'll see. :) Review please! **

**Lots of love /Lenore.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey guys! I don't know if I will spell something wrong, because I'm using a wiered keyboard. ;s But I'll try to write as carfull I can. I hope you enjoy this chapter even though my spelling isn't the best! I told you that I thought about bringing my computer to school, right? I don't think I will, I think I'll just bring it on fridays. It's the only time I've got at least one free hour to write correctly! :D**

**Ready, set and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 15. Girlfriend?

EPOV.

I can't stop thinking about it, is Tanya my girlfriend? It's been two days since I got that question from Tanya. I went home and tried to think clear, but it just got harder, because I miss her... Is that bad? I don't think so, but I do. That's a wiered thing too, I don't like her but I still do!

When we were at the hospital in the little 'elevator room', when she asked me I just stood there and looked at her like and idot. I feel like and idiot and wiered these day. I feel strange, if that's the right word. People always says that you have to listen to your heart, I tryed it. It doesn't work.

I took a deep breath and listened carefully. "Okey, that heart of mine. I'm listening, start talking!" I felt stupid, talking to myself, or in this case my heart. I stood there for like five minutes, but I heard nothing. "I'm still listening!" I sighed and decided to skip it, obviously it didn't work.

I didn't get the chance to think about anything alse because my phone vibrated. I didn't care at the moment, I wanted to keep thinking.. Was Tanya really my girlfriend? I want her to be, but I can't stop thinking about Bella. She's the only one for me, but she's gone. Do I have to move on? Do I move on, or have I allready done that?

I checked my phone, it was a text.

**Hey, have you thought about my wake up call? I mean, the question.. /Tanya**

I have, actually. And I'm sorry that I haven't called.. I couldn't think straight. - E

**Okey, but what do you think? /Tanya**

I think.. That you are. I'm kind of happy, are you? - E

**I think so too. I'm happy if you are. /Tanya**

It's settled then. - E

**When are you coming back to Seattle again? I haven't seen you for like... two days! /Tanya**

I don't know, I haven't decided yet, but I hope soon. - E

**I do too. /Tanya**

I know I have to go back to Seattle in a short time, but I want to stay in Forks too. I have some thinking to do for a while now.. Let's start with Seattle!

I still have the apartment, but I don't know if I want to keep it. It feels wiered to live there and know what had happened there before, and it would feel wrong to have Tanya move in there too, if we did move together. Something inside of me says that I have to keep it, it means so much to me. It's mine and Bella's first place together, the first and the last apartment we looked at.

When we were looking for apartments we saw that one in Seattle, _our _apartment. I we fell in love with it right away, nothing could stop us to get it. It really is beautiful, and it's a good place to start a small family. But I don't have any thoughts of me and Tanya starting a family like I had about Bella and me. That makes me sad sometimes, when I think back to those days before the accident.

How fun we had when the whole family played baseball, including Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. Bella was allready a part of the family when she first meet them, she had them wrapped around her little finger, they loved her from the start. She was one of us, she always has been and always will be.

Charlie and Renee still calls me to tell me about Bella and that they still have her trapped to the respirator. Sometimes I feel like we should cut the wires or strings, whatever it is, to let her go and be happy. But I can't do that, I can't be happy if she leaves for real..

I shook my head to those thoughts, and got up from my bed. I walked down to the kitchen, looking for mom. She was in the livingroom, reading her favourite book.

"Hi mom." I smiled and she looked up.

"Hey honey, how do you feel today?"

"I'm fine. I have to talk to you, but you have to promise not to be sad and cry, that would only make it harder for me!" I said seriously. I can't see my mom cry again, it would break my heart knowing I caused her to let her beautiful, but hurtful, diamond tears drop.

"I promise." She looked a bit panicked. I sat down next to her kissing her cheek.

"Calm down, it's nothing bad."

"Okey." She whispered. I took a deep breath, thinking my decision through one more time before telling, making sure I was doing the right thing.

"I feel wiered, I don't know how to say this correctly, so I'll just say it." I took another breath and held it. "I think Tanya is my girlfriend." Mom looked at me for a few moments, I thought I caused here to get a heart attack more then bringing her to tears, but then she smiled a bit.

"Do you think, or do you know?"

"I think I know." She laughed a bit at my statement, it wasn't very logical. "Me and Tanya talked about it today, she asked me about it the same day I was at the hospital visiting Bella before I went home."

"What did she ask you? Quote her." Mom was smiling at me, she was always happy when I was, and I think she still is.

"She asked me what we were, because I told her that at the hospital, she's just Bella's doctor, it felt wiered to kiss her there. So she asked if 'the word girlfriend ring a bell'."

"And what did you say?"

"I didn't say anything. I just stood there and looked like an complet idiot, I couldn't think straight, so I told her that I would think about it. I did kiss her once more after that, so she wouldn't think I would dump her." I sighed and looked down.

"And what have you decided to do now?" Mom lifted my head and made me look at her. She was smiling a bit, hopefully understanding my situation.

"I want to move back to Seattle, and be with Tanya. But I can't stop thinking about Bella, is that wrong?"

"No, of course it's not honey! She was your first girlfriend and you two loved each other very much, you can't change that just because one of you dissapered to 'repair your beauty'. I think she would understand that you have a life, because she's... I'm sorry for saying this, but she's practically gone. You deserve better than being sad and.. more sad all the time. You deserve love!"

I sighed and nodded. "I'm going back to Seattle." I smiled a little and looked down. _I have to stop overthinking things all the time. _I decided to tell Tanya, but I didn't want to call for some unexplainable reason, so I just sent a text.

Hey, guess what! I'm moving back to Seattle. - E

**Oh that's so great! I actuallt thought that you would stay in Forks a bit longer than just two days after leaving, haha. /Tanya**

I thought so too. Do you want to have dinner when I get back? - E

**Sure. When do you get back? /Tanya**

I think I'll be back around next week. - E

**Great, I'll see you then. /Tanya**

Yeah, I miss you. - E

**I miss you too, bye. /Tanya**

So here I am now, having a new girlfriend and packing my things. Soon I'll be on the road to head back home to a new relationship and _our _old apartment. I decided to keep it after all, it still meant much to me. I don't have lots of things to pack, just some clothes, bathroom articles and some other things.

It was tuesday when I last talked to Tanya, and now it's sunday. - The hours passes fast. There weren't much things that happened the last days at home in Forks. I told dad about my decisions and he just agreed with me, he told me the same thing mom did. I deserved to have a life full of love instead of one full of sadness and grief. He hoped that I would be happy, and he told me that he would only support me with evry decision I made.

There are not words enough to tell how much I love my family, I'm so lucky to have them. I miss Alice, she's the one I don't get to spend so much time with. But when I miss her the most, I just think about tose Edward and Alice moments and then I get happy again.

When I think back to those days when you were little, and had no worries and just lived life, and just lived life, I get jelous of myself. I've been there and experienced it, but I don't remember so much of it, just some very few moments, but I'm glad I have them. I wich I was a kid again, but sometimes that could be thought too. I know that being a kid is like dancing on a field of roses, but I've forgot that roses have lots and lots of thorns.

I remember once when I broke my mom's favourite vase and she was so mad that her face got all red and she yelled at me and told me to go to my room. But after I had been there for a few minutes, maybe ten minutes, she would always walk in to my room, embrace me and tell me that she was sorry. It was so nice being a kid.

Tonight would be the last dinner I had with my parents before leaving, Alice would come too and then I would drive her home, back to Seattle and then stay there too. She was so happy when I called and told her about everything that had happened. I also told her about what mom and dad had said, and she agreed.

I walked down to the livingroom, turning on the t.v. There wasn't much to watch, so I just flipped around and stopped on a random channel. Tha channel that I had stopped on was showing a movie, I don't know what it was called, and I didn't bother to look, but it was a really good movie. When it ended a loud squeal came from behind me.

I turned around to face the sound, I didn't have to, because I allready knew who it was, but I wanted to see her face. I stood up and smiled a wide smile and held my arms out. "ALICE!" I called as she jumped up into my arms. "Oh Alice, I'm so happy to see you." I whispered into her ear.

"I'm happy to see you too big litte brother." She laughed a bit and jumped out of my arms. "Where's mom and dad?"

"Mom's at the grocery store and dad is probably at his office." I pointed towards the stairs and she was off towards it the minute the words were out of my mouth. She sure had missed them.

I got back to the t.v. watching another movie and then mom came through the door. "Hello Edward, is Alice here?" She asked and smiled as I got up to help her with the bags.

"Yes, she's up with dad in his office."

"Thank you honey." Mom said as I took two bags from her. I got impressed when I saw my mother, such a tiny woman, carrying four full bags of food in her tiny arms. I laughed a bit to myself as I walked into the kitchen.

I helped mom pack up and making the food. Alice came skipping into the kitchen and squealed as she saw mom. They hugged for a while and I kept doing the food. We were making chicken enchiladas. The last meal together was nice, we laughed and talked and had a good night together. But when it was time for me and Alice to leave mom broke into tears.

"Oh mom." Alice said and hugged her.

"I promised not to cry." Mom said and wiped her tears away. I laughed at her and gave her a tight hug.

"It'll be fine, I'll come visit as often as I can. I love you."

"Do you want to know a secret?" We were whispering and I don't know why, it was like our own secret meeting.

"What?" I whispered back.

"I love you too." I laughed at my silly mother. She is so silly when it comes to love, not silly, stupid silly, I mean silly, cute silly. But that's my mom.

* * *

**There it is people! I'm so sorry for making you waiting. :/ But it's my first week at school and I allready have a test to study for! It's not a hard test but I want to do well. I will write one chapter tomorrow and two more on suturday and sunday! I'll try to keep them rolling, but don't get mad or sad if one chapter don't come out one day during the weekdays. **

**Please review! I wan't to know what you think. :) - A little tip for you all, don't give up hope on Bella! **

**I love you all! /Lenore**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

******Okey, I just have to say, I have no idea if I mentioned any date when Bella got run over, so I'll just take a date.**

**I'm back with the sixteenth chapter! I'm really sorry for making you guys waiting for me to write, but I'm busy with school so I hope you'll understand. :) This chapter will be in EPOV as usual. Please tell me if you want to read a chapter or two in another persons point of view, like Rosalie for example! Would it be fun to read her POV of how she experienced the pain and the loss of Bella!**

**Like I told you before, don't give up hope on Bella, though. She'll probably come around! :D**

**Ready, set and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 16. Almost a year

EPOV.

It's been almost a year since the accident, but it doesn't feel like a year. I wear my bracelet all the time, and I find myself looking down at it quite often. It really is beautiful, and it means alot to me. I can't take it off, but sometimes I have to.

I've been home for one day, and tonight me and Tanya are going to eat dinner at our 'new meeting' place, the resturant we went to for a few weeks ago when I got the bracelet. I've actually named the bracelet after Bella, I have even got it engraved. I named it Isabella.

I was sitting and watching t.v. when my phone started to ringing. I got up and answered.

"Hello, it's Edward speaking."

"Hey Eddie! Emmett here."

"Hey Emmet. How are you?" I smiled when I heard his voice, I've actually missed his booming voice.

"I'm fine, I miss.. you know. Other then that I'm fine! How are you?"

"I'm fine I guess."

"Hey, I've got something that might sheer you up! Come over to me and Rosalie tonight, have some fun." I cringed when he gave me that suggestion.

"Uhm.. I can't."

"Why not?" He sounded a bit dissapointed.

"I sort of have a.. a date."

"Woah, say no more dude. No I get it. Have fun! But you have to promise to come over tomorrow night."

I laughed a bit. "Okey, I promise."

"Great, I'll tell Rose you said hello okey?"

"Allright. Bye." Then he was gone. Have everybody else started to play the game me and Bella came up with now? I got a little pissed at first, but I soon recovered.

I looked at the clock and it was half past five, I have to get dressed. I promised Tanya to pick her up around six. I put on a dress up shirt and a pare of skinny jeans, but they weren't that tight. I remember when Bella came home with them. She had picked up the wrong size.

But it didn't matter, they're nice and well sitting at least, just a little big in the legs. They are simply good looking. When I was done dressing I went to the bathroom and washed my face once, and trying to fix the djungle on my head, so called hair.

When I looked at the clock again it was a quartet to six, so I got my jacket and put on some shoes and went down to my car. I didn't forget to lock my door, I remember when Bella always did. She used to whisper 'crap' under her breath and smile a little.

I always knew why she would smile that little smile, she just ran up and locked the door and came down again. Anyways, I have to get Tanya. I found myself in my car and started the engine.

When I got to Tanya's house she was standing outside her door waiting. _Hope she hasn't waited long_. I got out and walked up to her. "Hey." I said and smiled.

"Hello there." She smiled back.

"Have you been waiting long?"

"No, just a couple of minutes." She laughed a bit and I kissed her cheek. We walked to the car and drove to the restaurant. When we got there we went in and asked for our table, I had booked it the other night.

"So," Tanya said.

"So?"

"What are you going to order?" She smiled.

"I think I'll have the same as the last time." I looked down at my bracelet, Isabella, adoring it. It's my only memorie now.

"You look at your bracelet all the time." I looked up and Tanya was looking sadly at me. "You miss her.."

"Of course I miss her." I said softly. She smiled a bit and a tear ran down her cheek. I got up and walked around to her, she stood up and I embraced her. "Aww honey, what's the matter?"

"It's nothing really, I just feel so bad all the time. About being with you. And then when you look at the bracelet, I get more sad."

"I know how you feel. Sometime I have to move on, I can't go around hoping that she will wake up, because we'll never know. I've been looking at the bracelet extra today.. Do you know what day it is?"

She looked up at me and looked a little confused. "It's the 22th of August, it's been almost a year since Bella got run over." I didn't say that thing softly, I said it in a low and sad whisper.

"Oh. I understand.." I sighed and she did too. I released her and got my seat, right after that our server came out. He asked what we wanted to have for dinner and we made our order. We decided to skip the wine this time, we just took a coke each. It was really nice to have a night out with Tanya again.

"What would you think about.. moving together?" Tanya asked me suddenly. I was just took a sip on my coke and I almost choked on it. "Is it to soon?" She asked.

"Well, yeah. I'm sorry, you just took me by surprise. Can't we just wait with moving together and get to know eachother better?" I smiled at her, hoping to make her feel better.

"Okey." She smiled.

That night ended just as the last one, I drove her home, walked her to the door and kissed her good night, but right before I got into my car, Tanya called for me. I looked up and she was smiling, beckoning me to come to her. I closed the car door and walked up to her.

"What?" I smiled a little, she looked smug.

"Can't you stay for a while? It's just half past eight."

"Sure." She giggled and grabbed my arm and dragged me in. When she had closed the door I looked around. Wow, her house was beautiful, in some rooms, the walls were covered with a beautiful wallpaper that was a mix between blue, green and pink. She showed around, and when we came to her bedroom, her designing ability is.. WOW!

"Wow, have you designed this house all by yourself?" I asked, clearly impressed.

"Well, yeah. I like different colors and white furniture.. It's not that impressing." She laughed a bit nervously.

"All I can say is wow. Your house is really beautiful, you're a talanted designer." I smiled and turned towards her, I took one step closer and gave her a kiss. These kinds of kisses don't bother me, they're soft and nice. If I don't think of anything else, then it's okey.

I pulled away and smiled. She took my hand and pulled me towards the bedd. _Uh oh._ But she didn't do any tries to get me into bed with her. We did go to bed, but we didn't do anything, we just layed there and cuddled. I was glad that she had listened when I said we should take it slow and get to know eachother better.

When I woke up the next morning I was still wearing the clothes I wore the other day. I was still realived that Tanya hadn't tried anything. I rolled over to the other side, but she wasn't there. I sat up. "Tanya?" I asked, hoping she would answer. I heard some clinking from the kitchen, she was probably making breakfust.

I got out of the bed and walked towards the kitchen, rubbing my eyes on the way. "Hey." I said as I entered the kitchen. Tanya turned towards me and smiled.

"Good morning." She walked up to me and kissed my cheek. "How did you sleep?"

"It was really nice." Then the it hit me. "Wow, I just spened the night here." I smiled at her and she hugged me tight.

"Yeah, you did." She laughed a bit. "And it was nice. I like it!" I laughed with her.

"I agree." After that little conversation we ate breakfust and talked about different dreams and what we wanted to be when we grew up when we were kids. She told me that she wanted to be a strawberry, because she loved strawberrys.

"What did you want to be?" She asked and smiled.

"It's too embarrasing." I blushed, I've got that habit from Bella.

"Tell me." She smiled. "Please?" She put on the pout.

"Okey. I wanted to be in love, like really in love, like in the fary tales I got the hear when I was little." I looked away, it sounded so stupid.

"Aww, that's so cute." I looked up at her and she was smiling sweetly. "You are cute."

I put on the pout like she had, but mine's famous. "But you're cuter, and that's not nice." I norrowed my eyes at her and she laughed.

"You've got a point." I laughed with her, she's just so funny. "No, I'm just kidding." We laughed some more, and then it was time for me to go home.

"I have to go now, I've got to go to work."

"Okey, will I see you tonight?" She smiled.

"Sure." I kissed her once on the mouth and then I walked to the door. She followed me and stayed on the porch as I got into my car. I waved once to her and then I backed out of the parking space. She plew a kiss to me and I catched it. When she was out of sight, I sighed.

Whenever I was alone, Bella crept into my mind. I could imagine her yelling at me for being with Tanya and not being with her at the hospital. But she would never do that if she was awake, because if she was awake, I would never be with Tanya. She would never yell at me for having a life when she's gone.

I've come to exept that Bella is gone, but not the fact that she might be gone forever. Before the accident, the word forever was a beautiful thing for me, because I thought me and Bella would be _together _forever. But now, she might be _gone _forever, and then it's not so beautiful anymore.

When I got home I walked to the kitchen and made some lunch, the clock was already a quarter pas twelve. I have to call Emmett and tell him that I'll come tonight, and I might even bring Tanya too. If she want's to. I got to the phone and dailed the number.

"Hello?" Emmett asked groggily.

"Did I wake you?" I asked and laughed. He cleared his throat.

"No. What's up?"

"I'm just calling to tell you that I will come tonight."

"Oh, that's great man!" I could picture Emmett smiling his goofy grin.

"Is it okey if I bring company?"

"What kind of company?" He sounded smug.

"A girls company."

"That'll be allright. What time will you come around?"

"I don't know, around six I guess." I smiled.

"Allright, see you then man! Bye."

"Bye." I smiled to myself as I put the phone away. This would be a great night, just dropping everything and have fun.

* * *

**Hey! I'm sorry for not publising this chapter earlyer, but I'll write another one right away! It might not come out tonight, but I'll try my very best! Tell me if you want to read in Rosalie's POV or Jasper's! TELL ME! :D**

**Lots of love /Lenore**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey, here it is! Chapter seventeen, and it's in RPOV! :D I hope you'll like it, and Edward will bring Tanya to the 'party'. ;) I hope you'll like it, I've been spending much time on this one! :) I'll write the other one right after this. And I'm sorry if I have spelled something wrong!**

**Ready, set and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 17. Partying

RPOV.

_Riiing. _Emmett groaned. "Who the hell calls this early in the morning?" I looked at the clock and sighed.

"It's like half past twelve Emmett."

"Oh." He got up to answer the phone. I could hear him sigh heavily before he picked up, and then I hear him mumbling, after a few moments I heard him hang up, the low_ pling _wasn't that low when you're tired.. "Hey babe!" Emmett called.

"Yeah?"

"Edward is coming over tonight, and guess what! He's bringing a girl."

"What?" _Edward, with a girl? What the hell! What about Bella? Oh right, I forgot._

I remember when I got the news, I got so shocked I fainted. And when I woke up again, I cryed for a long time, she's my cousin, my best friend and my sister. She's gone, that made me want to die myself, she's not completly dead, but almost. Edward seem to exept it, but I don't know what's going on inside of his head, I can't deal with it, and that's for sure.

At work, it's hard. There's a girl there named Isabelle, and that makes me want to cry everytime I hear her name. I am a bitch sometimes, and I've been like that towars Bella sometimes, and when she got run over, I changed completly. I don't speak as often as I did before. I don't ask for help, I try to do it myself, and if I can't, I just drop it.

If you don't count in Edward, Emmett was the one who took it the hardets. She's his best friend, they've known eachother their whole life. Who would dare to take her away from him? He's happy for Edward that he have found a girl, but he's still sad.. And that make's me even sadder. When I'm sad, I bake things. Emmett doesn't bother if I bake things for him, he just gets happy. But he knows that I'm sad, so every night he will embrace me and let me cry into his shoulder.

Sometimes he actually cryes with me, I understand him. "Hey honey, can you make me breakfust?" He asked as he layed down beside me.

"You don't have to ask. Pancakes?"

"With syrap, please." He smiled and kissed me once. I got up and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the ingredients for the batter. I grabbed the frying pan, placing it on the stove and threw in a klick of butter. I made the batter and then I started making Emmett's pancakes.

Just as I got the last pancake done, Emmett walked in and rubbing his eyes. "Mmm. This smells good." He sad and kissed my cheek. Then he sad down in one of the chairs. I served him his pancakes and poured the syrap on. "And I bet they'll taste just as good."

"Well, they should. It's wholemeal!" I laughed. He narrowed his eyes, but I knew he wasn't serious. The goofy grin of his was playing on his face.

"I hope they'll taste good, or else!" He threatened.

"If they don't, what will you do about it?" I asked and raised and eyebrow in disbelief, he wouldn't do anything..

"Oh, I have the punishment in mind." He said and wiggled his eyeborws.

"Oh c'mon Emmett, you can't get me to bed if I, myself, don't want to." I said, still keeping one eyebrow up.

"Let's see about that!" He said and finished his pancakes. When he was done, he rose from his chair, pretending nothing was wrong. He got rid of his plate and then scooped me up and ran into our bedroom.

"Emmett put me down!" I giggled. "You can't do this if I don't want to!" I yelled and hit his shoulder.

"You'll come along!" He laughed and closed our bedroom door. After the 'punishent' Emmett had given me, we sat down in the livingroom and stated talking.

"What are we going to do tonight?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know."

"We could go to the bar!" He said happily.

"Can't we just stay home and have fun here? I don't feel like going to the bar."

"But Rose, you haven't been to a bar for like a year! That's not like you."

"I know, I just don't feel like it. I don't feel like having fun out at a bar, that used to be mine, Alice and Bella's thing. Can't we just stay home, please?" I said and looked away, the tears were bruning my eyes. I miss Bella and our bar-fun.

"I know, I'm feeling the same, honey. But sometimes you have to move on! That's what Edward is trying to do, of course he will always miss and love her, but he can't go around and feel self pity, that will only bring back the very sad memories and then he will be depressed. And that's not good."

"I know, but can't we just stay home tonight? Have fun at home. Please?" I asked, I could feel the tears starting to overflow my eyes, I don't want to cry, I just don't want to have fun out, that was what I used to do with Bella and Alice. And I haven't met Alice in several weeks.

That same night, when Edward and his new girl came over, and I got the chanse to speek to her. "Hello, I'm Rosalie, but you can call me Rose." I smiled politely.

"Hi Rose, my name is Tanya." She smiled back. I took Tanya by the arm and carefully dragged her away from the boys who was catching up and hugging.

"So," I said. "Girls talk. How did you and Edward meet?"

"At the hospital." She said looking down, she's probably embarresed. _Good, this night will be so fun! _I don't want to be mean to her, but something is got to be done! Edward can't just give up on Bella that fast. Okey, he lived at the hospital for like three month, and then he walked around sad for three more months. That's half a year! He have to give Bella some time to restart hersefl. _Hmm, how do I make her more uncomfortable?_

"Tell me all about it!" I said and smiled hopefully. "I haven't had a girl to talk to for over almost two months! Tell me." She smiled a little and looked down again.

"Well, we met at the hospital and talked a bit there. Then Edward got mad when he got the news about Bella being braindead, and yelled at me for giving him 'false hopes', kind of.." She said and sighed. "Then we met again at a cafe and he apologized and asked me out for dinner. The same night, we kissed and started to hang out more. And after that, we got together." She looked at me and smiled.

"Okey." _Hmm, let's try this_. "Have you made it to the line yet?" I asked and giggled, punshing her lightly on the arm. _I hope they haven't, Bella and Edward didn't got the chanse to do _it_ before the accident! He better not have done_ it _with _Tanya_!_

Tanya looked down and blushed. "No, not yet." She giggled nervously and looked up a bit. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Oh get used to it! It's the top topic here at my and Emmett's house." I laughed evilly.

"Oh, okey." Tanya said. I laughed some more to myself. I walked to the boys hugging Emmett from the side.

"Hey babe." He said and kissed my temple. Tanya stood next Edward and he took her, I narrowed my eyes at him, but he didn't see it. I stood on my toes and whispered in Emmett's ear.

"Shall I call Alice?" He looked down at me and nodded with a smile. "I'll be right back." I said to the group. I walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone dailing Alice's number.

"Hello, this is Alice."

"ALICE!" I almost yelled. "It's Rosalie! Oh, Alice. I'm so sorry I haven't talked to you for a long time! Please come over to me and Emmett, now."

"Calm down Rose. I'll bring Jasper too, I can't leave him." We laughed at that statement. No no, poor Jasper can't deal with being home alone.

"Okey, I'll see you two soon. Hurry!"

"Okey, bye." I hung up and walked happily out in the livingroom.

"Rose." Edward said and narrowed his eyes. "What have you done?"

"Nothin'" I said innocently. "I just called Alice." I smiled evilly at him, _oh he's going to freak out when Alice is question Tanya! Mohahaha. _That's what he gets for bringing a girl to my house, and for that girl is not Bella!

After ten minutes, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." I said and threw a evil look at Edward. I opened the door and Alice threw her arms around me. "ALICE!" I squealed. "Oh, I've missed you!" She let me go and smiled. I bent foreward and whispered, "Go and meet Edward's new girlfriend." She laughed and walked in.

"Hey Jasper." I smiled and hugged him.

"Hi Rose. So, Edward has a girlfriend, besides Bella?" That didn't sound right, he furred his eyebrown. "You know what I mean."

"Yes I do, and yes he have." I pressed my lips together. "What are we going to do about it?"

"We can do nothing. Let's not make Edward more sad then he allready is." Jasper sighed.

"Okey." I sighed. We walked in to the others, and as I expected, Alice was questioning Tanya and Edward's eyes was flickering between Emmett and them all the time, I laughed quietly and so did Jasper. We talked alot that night, having fun. Of course we didn't talk, Alice did, and Tanya answered obediently.

The funniest of all questions Alice asked was, "Oh my god, you're boobs are so nice! Have you done a boob job?" And Tanya was so embarresed she never answered the question. We three girls were sitting in my room and talking, while the boys was down in the livingroom playing Wii. Tanya excused herself to go to the bathroom and left me and Alice alone.

"I feel bad." Alice said.

"Why?"

"Because we are messing with Edward's love life. I miss Bella just as much as you do, and I don't want Edward to find someone new either, but he seems happy, so we'll just let him be." She sighed.

"But we made a pact! We can't just break it." Yeah, we made a pact. We were going to be unkind to Tanya in a kind way, it's hard to explain. We are embarrasing her and making fun of her the same time we are being kind.

"We have to. He's my brother, and I want him to be happy. We are breaking the pact, over and out." Alice said firmly and stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I am going to apologize to Tanya." She started to walk towards the door, but I got up and grabbed her by the arm, stopping her.

"No, let's wait here. Let her come back, I don't want the boys to here, let alone Edward." I sighed.

"Okey." We sat down on the bed again, waiting for Tanya to come back. It took a while, and when she did came back, her eyes were a bit red. She had been crying. Alice gasped and got up, running to her and gave her a tight hug. "I'm sorry Tanya, for everything. Don't be sad or mad, let me explain."

"Okey." Tanya whispered. Alice let her go and then I got up and gave her a hug saying I'm sorry too. We sat down and explained for Tanya why we were being so stupid and mean, telling her that we did like her, but that we didn't want Edward to find someone new because we miss Bella and want her back. At first, she got sad again and cryed.

But after a while she got a hang of the tears and told us that she understood, and that Edward had told her about Bella and how he had dealt with it. "He didn't want to have a relationship at first, he told me that he felt bad and that it all felt wrong because of Bella. He don't want us to even touch at the hospital, he thinks Bella can hear and see us, but I know that that is impossible because she's... you know... braindead."

We all sighed heavily, and then we decided to change the subject. We talked about boys and our own boys and what was good with them and such. Just girl's talk. After a while we walked out to the boys again, and we drank a bit and had fun. That was when the partying started!

* * *

**Hey, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting.. I know that you people are starting to lose the faith in Bella and that you think that my story is starting to get boring! And I'm sorry, but can't you just hang in for a few more chapters?`I promise that things will happen. :) Don't lose faith in me or Bella!**

**REVIEW!**

**Lots of love /Lenore.**


	18. This is not a chapter, authors note:

**THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER!**

Authors note: Hey... I know I haven't published one single chapter in like a month! I feel so bad about it, but I have so little time and so much to do! So, I have to change the publish date on my chapters. I will only post chapters during the weekend, on like friday, saturday and sunday! If I get time to write, of course I'll post is during the week.

I'm so sorry I haven't written, I promise I'll write this weekend, I just have to talk to my insparation source, my beta Magda. :) I will write soon, I've got a brain stop right now, so I don't know what to write, I kind of feel like Bella. ;) But I'll write soon! Keep your hopes up. :)

Lots of love /Lenore.


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**I am soooooo sorry for I haven't been writing. :/ I haven't had any time at all! I've had so many test and stuff at school. I promise to make it up to you. I haven't come up with anything either.. I'm sorry!  
**

**But hey! This chapter will be in APOV! Alice is going back to school, and she meets some very intresting friends. Lets find out who they are! :)**

**Ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 18. School time

APOV.

I had fun last night, hanging out with Tanya was really fun, even though the night didn't start as good as it ended. When we girls had gone out to the boys and we drank we had some really good talking. We played a game called 'Do you dare?' It was so much fun! This is how you play it. There can be several people playing it at the same time, you don't have to be couples, but it is good if you are together. Anyways, one person is picked out to dare the first couple, and in this case, Emmett was the one to dare first. He picks out a couple to make fun of. Edward and Tanya were the first ones to go, of course.

"I dare you to kiss eachother on the lips. But I'm going easy on you, next time, I'll dare you to go to different rooms and have phonesex!" He had laughed. "And everybody here with us tonight," He said with a evil voice. "will listen to you! Mohahaha."

We all broke out in laughter and Emmett laughed so hard his eyes started tearing. "Okey, okey." I'd said. "Edward, Tanya, give eachother a kiss now." They'd smiled at eachother and then Edward leaned foreward. Before he kissed Tanya she had whispered something I couldn't register, but I let it go. I was going to ask Edward later, but for some reason, I didn't. It was wiered seeing Tanya and Edward kiss.. It felt wrong at the same time as it felt great to see Edward happy again, that's all I want. I sighed. I miss Bella so hard it makes me cry everytime I think of her.

I had actually started crying when Edward and Tanya had kissed, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I'd looked at Jasper and he gave me a sympathetic look and he'd taked my hand and squeezed it hard and gave it a kiss. I'd smiled at him, trying to not letting the tears well over. When I entered the bathroom and saw the design, it made me think of my boutique.

I get my inspiration from nature, my beautiful friends, my Jasper and the sunshine. It was thanks to the sunshine I got the courage to open my boutique and Jasper was of course a part of the encouragement too. Edward was there for me too, he and Bella helped me name the boutique and then Bella helped me to design the sign and then the inside.

I remember how fun we girls had, just us girls, no boys. We sat outside the boutique for hours just talking and laughing how we could design the 'welcome' sign. Rosalie was quiet for a while and then she had broke down in laughter and me and Bella didn't get a thing.

"Oh if you girls knew." Rosalie said as she was calming down. "Alice," Rosalie looked at me seriously. "Why don't you just open up a porn shop?" Bella and Rosalie had burst out in laughter again, but I got mad.

"Absolutely not!" I'd said. "I will not open up a porn shop, that would only get Jasper horny and he would be at the shop all the time." I'd laughed at that thought and Bella and Rosalie just laughed harder.

"Well, what's the problem then?" Bella had asked. "Is there a problem with a horny Jasper?"

"No, that would be nice, but I don't want him staring at some dirty girl in a magazine, I want him to stare at me! I can be a dirty girl too." I giggled.

"Oh we know!" Bella and Rosalie laughed.

I'd smiled at the old memory, but that happy memory brought pain with it too. It made me miss Bella even more. Then it'd hit me._ I'm lonely! _Not lonely in the bathroom, I'm lonely lonely. Of course I have Jasper but I have like no friends!

"This isn't good!" I had whispered to myself. "But I think I know how to get new friends."

I smiled at my thoughts and remembered that I was still in bed at home. The night before had been a disaster after Edward and Tanyas kiss. I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes and ran for the door to go and get Jasper. _He's working but I think I can get him the rest of the day off. I'm evil you know._

I grabbed my jacket and shoes. I ran out of the apartment and locked the door. I ran as fast as I could to get to the car. People looked at me like I was some crazy person who thought she was being chased.. Well, I wasn't. I was just some crazy person who's eager to get to her boyfriend. And someday maybe husband. I smiled and I could feel my cheeks heating up.

When I was driving towards Jasper's job. I thought about Bella and the hospital. I haven't visit Bella for months now, I've told Edward that I was visiting her every month, but I the last time I was there I broke down. I heard some doctors speaking about Bella and her brain damage. Bella has been laying you know... for quite a while now. Almost one and a half year. That's quite a time, but I get that Bella's parents won't shut her down, they and Edward are paying the hospital bills. Edward is working extra at friday nights to get the money.

When I arrived at Jaspers working building, - he is working at a school as a music teacher, the kids really like him. He has his band too, but he haven't been playing for a while now, besides school. I't kind of my fault. - I got out of the car and speed walked to the front door. I walked to his office and knocked on the door. "Yes?" I heard Jasper answer.

I stepped in and ran up to him and gave him a big kiss. "Oh, Alice!" He laughed his corny laugh. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed?" I laughed with him.

"No, or.. yes I should be in bed but, yesterday I was thinking."

"Yes?" Jasper asked. I looked at him and he looked.. scared.

"Oh calm down! I'm not leaving you." I smiled and he sighed in realif. "I was thinking about how little friends I actually got.."

"Okey..." He said slowley. "How are you going to fix that? Arne't I'm enough?" He smiled.

"Of course you are, but I want to have friends, real friends, not a friend that I'm having sex with." I laughed and he joined me.

"Okey, I see where you are going with this.. Where are you going with this?" He furred his eyebrows.

"I was thinking I could go back to school. I can study at the same time I'm making new friends! And if I study good I can maybe extend the chain of my boutiques. I could open one in Forks!" I smiled at him because he looked confused and doubtful.

"I don't..." He started but I broke him off.

"Know, I know. But listen to me, I want to go back to school. I would get friends and.. and I would forget for just a little moment, about.. about you know.. uhm." Tears started to well over and Jasper saw that, he stood up and hugged me tight.

"Oh Alice, It's okey.. I know you miss her, but that doesn't mean that you have to get new friends and forget her." I sighed. He was right..

"I wont forget her that much.. You know that! But I really need to get back to school anyways, I want to do more fun stuff, and I've always liked school." I looked up at him and smiled and he felled for my little trick. _Maby I don't need to take him the rest day off after all._

"Fine, do as you like. But don't come to me when you want to drop out of school! You will stay for at least a whole semester."

I had to squeal. "IIIH thank you sooo much Jasper! I love you!" I stood on my toes and kissed him. "I love you. But I have to go!" I turned for the door but Jasper grabbed my arm.

"Wait a minute, what do I get for letting you go back to school?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh come on. You'll have to wait and see. The ones who is waiting for some good-"

"Never waits to long.. I know. But where are you going now?" He asked confused.

"Home to make some phone calls." I smiled at him and then ran out of the door. When I came out everybody looked at me. They've must heard my squeal, oops.. I smiled and my cheeks got red, then I quickly walked towards the door and then half ran to my car.

When I came hom again it was very quiet, how wiered? No, I knew I would be on my own. I went to the phone directory and got the number to the school down town.

Two tones went by and then a male picked up. "Hello this is Principal Harry Lansford."

"Hi, my name is Alice Cullen."

"How can I help you?" He sounded nice.

"I have been thinking about going back to school, I'm a 22 year old boutique owner and I was hoping to get back to school so I some day might have the opportunity to extend the chain of my boutiques." I was smiling to myself, what if he would give me a paper so I could apply!

"Well, would you like to book a appointment with me so we could discuss it."

"Iih! Thank you so much! I would love to. You pick a date!"

"Does wednesday at 09.00am work for you?" It sounded like he was smiling.

"Wednesday at nine it is. Thank you so much Mr. Lansford!"

"You're welcome Miss. Cullen. Good day."

"Bye." I was jumping up and down the rest of the day. I couldn't wait until wednesday! What if I got applied? I would start school again and get friends!

Before I knew it, wednesday had arrived. I had already fixed all the papers that I was going to bring, for exampel my graduation grades. I was so happy when I got out of my bed. I dressed fast and did my hair. Jasper was already at work so I was alone. I did breakfust and patiently waited for the clock to hit half past eight so I could drive slowly to the school office.

I went to the bedroom and did my makeup. And when I was done the clock hit half past eight. I walked to the hall and grabbed my jacket and put on my flat shoes and went to the car. I didn't forget to lock the door this time!

When I was driving towards the school I passed the hospital and slowed down. I checked the clock, it was a quarter to nine. I sighed. "Oh what the heck, Mr. Lansford can wait. I pulled up at the hospital and ran in. I went straight to Bellas room.

When I came in she looked just the same as she did before, but this time she looked peace full and beautiful. I went to her and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry honey, I know I haven't been here for a while now. I'm so sorry, I love you." I gave her a hug and walked towards the door.

When I came down to the lobby I spotted Bella's mother. I ran up to her and gave her a big hug even though she wasn't ready for it. "Oh Renee! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Alice? Oh honey what are you sorry for?" She made me look up at her, and then she wiped away my tears. "What are you sorry for?" She whispered again.

"I'm sorry for not being here. I should have come here months ago, but I didn't have the guts." I sobbed.

"Why were you afraid of coming here?" Renee asked confused.

"I don't know. I'm sorry." I hugged her tight again and she kissed my forehead. Renee is like my second mother, she's always there for me if I want to speak to her, if I for some reason don't want to talk to my own mother. She always says that she loves me before she hang up the phone and she always makes me feel good. Like my own mother.

"It's okey Alice. I get where you're coming from.." Then she told me a story about her own father, that when he had a heart attack and was at the hospital she wouldn't dare to go there, because she was afraid that he would look so gone and hurt and if he would die, that was the last picture she would have of him, and she did not want that. Lucky her her father survived, but he died two years later.

"I'm sorry Renee, I have to go now. I have an appointment." I gave away a small smile.

"What kind of appointment?" Renee smiled back.

"I'm going to apply to a school down town. I've been thinking about it for a long time and I think it's a good idea to go back to school for a while, then I'll have a big chance to extend my boutique chain." I smiled extra large this time.

"Thats really great idea Alice! Well, good luck." She gave me a hug and then let me go. "Bye honey, I love you."

"I love you too Renee." Then I walked away. I checked the clock and it was five minutes to nine. I still had time to drive there.

* * *

**Hey, I just have to get one thing clear! People have been telling me that my story is becoming boring, and I totally get that, Bella isn't in it and then it isn't a Edward and Bella story right now. Some people said that if Edward really loved Bella he would've waited for her, but what kind of story would that have been? A boring one. **

**That is why I write the story the way I do. I can't write a story that is about Edward waiting for Bella to wake up! Let's say that Bella dies, what should Edward do then? He moves on, with a little help by time! If you don't like the way I write my story, then don't read it. :)**

**_The next chapter will be out soon. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting! I'm not feeling so well, I've got a brain plug right now, I don't know what to write! But I'm still trying to keep the chapters rolling. _**


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hi! I'm back with the 19th chapter. I'm sooo really sorry for letting you wait so long with the 18th chapter! I have been so busy with school! But now I have autumn break now so I have lots of time to write! Hopefully I've gotten my creativity back so I'll be able to write alot more now. :) I'm sorry again.**

**Oh well, this chapter is also APOV! Ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 19. Applying to school

APOV.

When I got to the front office I parked my car and got out. I walked very fast because I was a tiny bit late. I got in and sat down in a chair, but I didn't have to sit for long, just as I sat down the woman at the desk asked me if I was Alice Cullen.

"Yes I am." I answered with a smile.

"Well then, the principal is waiting for you." She stood up and made a gesture towards the door on the right in the hallway. As I walked pass the woman at the desk I took a long look at her. She was wearing sloppy clothes and they had strange colors. Her hair was nice though, she had put it up in a nice even bun and her hair color was pretty too! I don't know if it is colored or if it is her real color but it was a in between color. It was black mixed with red, it was really pretty. Mine's just black and spiky.

The woman looked at me, she'd noticed that I was staring so I gave her a smile and walked into the principals office. "Hi." I said as I closed the door.

"Hello. You must be Alice." He smiled at me. "I'm Mr. Lansford, Harry Lansford."

"Yes I'm Alice Cullen." I smiled at him and walked over to his desk and took my seat.

"Well, let's start with looking through your grades." He smiled and I handed over my graduation grades. He looked them through and he seemed a bit chocked. "Are you sure you want to go back to school? You have nothing to imrove, you were a straight A student!" He looked up and smiled big at me.

"I''m sure, I want to go back to school." I smiled.

"Well, would you have time with your boutique if you were applied?"

"Yes I would. I've already changed the scedual, even if I wouldn't get applied it would still be good with a scedual change at the boutique. I've been working to hard, or that's what Jasper says." I laughed under my breath. "Stupid Jasper." I smiled and shook my head.

"May I ask, who is Jasper?" The principal asked.

"Oh, Jasper is my boyfriend, we have been together for like, three or four years now." I smiled at Mr. Lansford.

"Okey then. Well, here's your paper you will fill in." He gave me a paper and I looked it over. I would have to go through all my papers I showed Mr. Lansford and then when I was done he would look it over to see if something was incorrect. Then I just had to write down my name and birth date and my personal code number.

"Well, are we done here?" I asked Mr. Lansford and he nodded and then he stood up to take my hand. "It was nice to meet you Mr. Lansford."

"Same here Alice. With your grades, I think we'll see eachother again." He smiled and shook my hand.

"Bye." I said and he nodded. I walked out of his office and met the woman at the desk. "Bye." I said the her and she nodded. _What is it with these people and nodding?_ I asked myself confused. _Can't they even say good bye?_

I let it go. I had nothing to do with that, and I had other things in mind. When I got out on the parkinglot there was full of people there. Students of course. It felt like all of them were looking at me. _Paranoia, Alice_. I told myself. I smiled and looked down as I walked to my car. When I got there I let out a long sigh.

I jumped in and started the car. When it roared to life I took a deep breath and backed out and drove away. Why did I feel so uncertain and shaky? I shook it of and concentrated on the road. When I got home I walked right to the kitchen table and sat down. I open the envelope and took out my grades and the other papers. I started with writing down my full name and then my personal number code.

When I was done with that I started to write down the grades and other information. When I was done I put the paper in a new envelope and wrote down the adress I got from Mr. Lansford.

I ran down to the food store and posted the envelope there. And after that, I went to my boutique and opened it. I was there the rest of the day. When closing time was over I went home and Jasper was waiting for me in the sofa. I hung away my jacked.

"Hello darling." Jasper said and opened his arms as a sign for me to come and sit down in his lap. I walked over to mig and sat down. He raised my head to his and gave me a long kiss.

"Hey." I said sleepily.

"How was your day?" He asked and kissed my forehead.

"It was fine, I signed the appling paper and sent it and then I opened the boutique and sold some clothes and yeah. The usual." I closed my eyes and snuggled into his chest and he tightened his arms around me.

"Well then, are you sleepy?" He joked.

"Noo, I'm fully awake." I giggled low and yawned.

"Okey." He whispered. I opened my eyes and kissed him once more on his lips and then closed my eyes. He started to sing for me, he sang Crazier with Taylor Swift, my favourite song. "_You lift my feet of the ground, you spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier. Feels like I'm falling in love, lost in your eyes. You make me crazier, crazier_." And then he sighed. "I love you Alice."

"I love you to." Then I drifted away to sleep.

~#~#~#~

When I woke up the next morning I was still in Jaspers knee. We both must have fallen asleep and forgotten to go back to bed, or Jasper must have forgotten. I was totally gone last night.

I looked up at Jasper and he was half awake. I kissed his lips once and then his eyes popped open. "Hi." I said and kissed him again.

"Oh shoot, I forgot to put you in bed last night, and myself." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I can see that." I smiled at him and he kissed my cheek.

"Well, what do you want for breakfust?"

"Uhm, beacon and egg." I smiled.

"Okey, in a minute my lady." He put his arms under me and stood up. He carried me into our bedroom and kissed me again. "Your breakfust will be served in bed today." I giggled at his funny voice, he sounded like an servant in the old movies + a brittish accent.

I kissed him again and waited for my breakfust. When he came with my breakfust, and I could smell it, it was then I knew that I was really hungry. "Wow! It smells wonderful." He had two plates on the tray, and two glasses of milk and two forks.

"Let's eat in bed together." He smiled and put down the tray in front of me and grabbed his own plate.

"Okey." I smiled. We ate and talked and laughed together for a long time. I told him what Mr. Lansford had said about my grades and how he'd thought that I would most certainly be applied.

I decided not to go to my boutique today, I was way to tired and excited about the apply and such so I just stayed home today.

When Jasper came home I had made a luxary dinner. I thought he deserved it. "What have I done?" He asked and chuckled.

"Nothing, well, actually you are the best boyfriend in the world, that's why I'm doing this." I smiled and walked up to him. I gave him a long kiss and hugged him tight.

"Well, I have working hard on that." He chuckled.

"Let's eat!" I said and took his hand in mine. I walked with him into the kitchen and we sat down.

"Wow Alice. This looks really good!" He smiled at me.

"Thank you." I had made him pork and potato wedges with béarnaise sauce. He loved it.

four other days since wednesday went past the same way, I woke up, two out of these five days I had gone to the boutique, otherwise I had stayed home by the phone till Jasper came home, some time during the day I'd done luxary food and Jasper was happy.

The sixth day of waiting was here, and Mr. Lansford still haven't called. I sat by the phone and sighed. "Wow Alice, you have to get a grip." I told myself. I decided to call Edward and see what he is doing.

Just as I was about to pick up the phone, someone called. I got so excited that I almost dropped it. "Hello?" I said, trying to sound calm.

"Hello, Alice I assume? This is Mr. Lansford, I have your paper here, you could come and get it if you want to or I could just send it to you. Do what ever you like."

"I'll come over! Can I come now? I have nothing to do anyways."

"Yeah that's fine. See you in a bit. Bye Alice." I didn't say bye, I just hanged up. I ran into mine and Jasper's bedroom and got dressed, I did my makeup and combed my hair. Then I ran to the hall and put on a jacket, then I locked the apartment and ran to the parkinglot. I drove as fast and legally as I could to the school.

When I was on my way there I checked the clock, it was ten past two. People would probably be out on the parkinglot right now, I didn't want anyone to stare at me, but hey, I'm Alice, I can cope with it.

When I got there I looked around, and I had been right, people were all over the plays. I got out of the car and walked towards the front office, I was just two meters away when I crashed into something or someone. "Oh." I gasped.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" It sounded like a boy said it.

"I'm sorry." I said and backed away two steps. When I looked up I met a pare of blazing, chiny blue eyes. _How can blue eyes be so blazing?_ I asked myself, stunned.

"No," The boy said. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where_ I_ was going." He chuckled and looked down, his cheeks were getting pink.

"I have to go." I said in a rush and walked into the office. _Remember Jasper?_ My conscience asked me. "Shut up." I said low to myself.

"Hello Alice, nice to meet you again." I looked up and Mr. Lansford was standing right infront of me.

"Hi." I said and smiled.

"Here's your envelope." Mr. Lansford said and handed it to me.

"Wow. Thanks." I felt my face turn into a chocked facial expression.

"Alice, calm down! You have nothing to worry about." Mr. Lansford said and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you. I should go now, Jasper is coming home soon."

"Well then, I'll probably see you very soon. Good bye Alice." I smiled big at him.

"Bye!" I drove home slowly this time, my heart was pounding and I was smiling so big that my cheeks were hurting. If someone saw me now, they would probably think that I am some kind of pervert or something.

When I got home I hurried up a bit. I sat down by the kitchen table and put the envelope infront of me. "Alright Alice, here we go." I said and carefully opened the envelope. I took out the paper and unfolded it.

It said; "_Hello Alice! We are happy to tell you that you have been applied to a continuing program at Alexander Hamilton High School here in Los Angeles. You are starting on monday at nine. You will meet Mr. Lansford in the front office at half past eight so you can get your scedual and other neccesary things_." Etc, etc, etc.

It came to me like a bomb. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I squeald. "NO WAY, NO WAY, NO WAY!" I was jumping up and down all over the apartment. When I had calmed down I called Jasper.

"Hey Alice-." He was about to say something else but I broke him off.

"JASPER! Guess what? I've been applied!"

"WHAT? Oh Alice that's great!" Then I told him what they had written and how much they would love to have me as a student and such. They had all been chocked of how good my grades were and all of that.

"Anyways." I said. "I want to call Edward and Rose. Bye Jasper, love you."

"Okey, I love you to Alice. Bye." I hung up and called Edward and Rose about my good news.

* * *

**Hey guys! Pork and potato wedges with béarnaise sauce is my favorite. ;) That's why I chose that meal for Alice to do for Jasper.**

**I'm so sorry, again, that I haven't been writing at all during school time. I've tryed, but it didn't work out so well, but I will keep trying. Anyways, I have no idea how grades and stuff work in USA, I live in Sweden so I don't know, but I think you'll get it right when I write it down, so. :) **

**Keep reading! And please, review! I would love to know what you're thinking about my last two chapters. :) I will post the 20th chapter very soon! :D Iiih, can't wait myself. ;) Bye.  
**


	21. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey guys! I'm back with the 20th chapter! :D This chapter will be EPOV! I hope you don't mind, Alice POV will come back later. :)**

**Ready, set, READ!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 20. Is this right?

EPOV.

I was chocked when Alice called me and she was half squealing and half screaming. I couldn't hear what she was saying so I told her to calm down. Then she told me that she had been applied to Alexander Hamilton High School continuing program. I had asked what continuing program meant, and she said it was for people like her who wanted to go back to school and fix their grades or something like that. Like Collage, but easier.

I am happy for her of course, but I'm worried too. She has her boutique and now school. Lucky her Jasper isn't that kind of guy who takes her for granted, who thinks that se is the one who is going to cook his food.

He is usually the one who cooks. Jasper is like a brother to me, I'm happy that he is the one who stole Alice heart.

Before I could think about anything alse someone knocked on the door to mine and Bella's apartment.. I went to open the door, but before I actually did, I checked the peekhole. I don't really know why I always do that now a days... Maby I'm hoping that it would be Bella coming back to me..

"Tanya.." I whispered. I opened the door and gave her a hug.

"Hey." She said with a smile.

"Hi. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work?" I asked, I have been with her a lot these days, I would like some alone time..

"Yes, but I'm going right back there if someone pages me." She smiled and kissed my cheek.

I have been thinking alot, I have been thinking about me and Tanya. Sometimes it doesn't feel right. I miss Bella to much. She is still alive, if you think about it, I'm actually cheeting on her. I was there yesterday, wisiting her. I told Tanya that she couldn't come in there with me. Bella would suspect something. I know that she can't see me, or hear me, but there's still hope.

_This is wrong_, I thought.

"Tanya..." I said.

"Yes."

I sighed. "Is this right?"

"What?" She asked. Her small eyebrows furred. "What do you mean?"

"Us, is this even right? I mean, Bella is still alive, if you think about it the way I do, I'm cheeting on her!" I sat down on the couch on Bella's favorite spot and put my face in my hands.

"No you're not, I don't want to say this but what if she doesn't wake up, ever. There is a chance that she will wake up, but it's been a year and a half! It's a chance in about 10% of 1000% that she will wake up." Tanya said and it made the ache in my heart grow bigger, so it is true, I am being unfaithful to Bella.

Tanya sighed and put her hand on my shoulder but I shook it off. "Please." I said and stood up. "Just leave me alone for a moment." Then I ran into mine and Bella's bedroom and layed down on Bella's side of the bed.

_One thing is sure, this is wrong!_ I thought. _I may have my doubts about some things, but I'm sure_. The tears was starting to build up in my eyes, but instead of wiping them away, I let them spill over. I wanted to cry, I hadn't done that for several months, I think it was about time now.

I cryed into Bella's pillow, but her smell was gone, so I went to our closet and took out one of her sweaters and put it to my face and took a deep breath. _Just like her_.

I went to sleep with her sweater over my face. When I woke up the next morning, I had decided what I had to do.. I went to the phone and dailed the number.

"Hello?"

"Could you please come over?" I pleaded. "I know you don't want to, but please."

"Okey.."

I hung up and went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth then I went to the kitchen and took a cup of coffe. Someone came through the door and I sat down on couch.

"Hey Edward." Rosalie said. "What do you want?"

"I know that you are mad at me for being together with Tanya, but I have decided that I can't be anymore. You're right, it is cheeting."

"Finally." Rosalie said and sat down next to me. She put one arm around me. "I knew you were smart enough to figure that out." She sighed and put her head on my shoulder. I put down my cup and put my arms around her waist and then we sat there hugging for a while. It was nice, Rosalie and I arn't that close, but now, I don't know anymore.

Then Rose broke the silence. "When are you going to do it?" She sighed.

"I don't know, as soon as possible probably."

"Well, I should probably go. Emmett is waiting for me at home."

"What time is it?" I asked, suddenly confused.

"A quarter past eleven, I think." She checked her watch. "Yep. A quarter past eleven." _Crap, work_. Rosalie stood up and so did I.

"I have to go too, I have work. I'm already late." I sighed. "I'll talk to Tanya tonight."

"Okey." I gave Rosalie a long, big hug before she went home.

"Thank you." I whispered to her.

"You're welcome."

When I was driving to work I had the car radio on. And a very intresting song was playing. Just a feeling with Maroon 5.

"_I've been laying in the dark, no sunshine, no sunshine, no sunshine. She cryes; This is more then a good bye, when I look in to your eyes, you're not even there. I'ts just a feeling, just a feeling, just a feeling that I have._" True, every word of it.

When I arrived at work I went straight to my boss and apologized for being late.

"It's okey Edward, just don't do it again. One time is a misstake, to times is a crime." He laughed a bit and I smiled.

"Thank you sir." I just worked the rest of my hours I had left. When I got home I called Tanya and told her to come over. When she came I sat down on the couch with her.

"Okey Edward, just go for it." _What? Does she know? Who told her?_ I was chocked.

"How do you know what I am going to say?" I asked.

"I can feel it, something is wrong and you're wrong." She gor frustraded and put her hand on my chest and kissed me. No, no, no! Wrong, so wrong.

"Stop." I pushed her away gently. "This is wrong."

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I am sorry too. I can't keep doing this, I can't stay with you Tanya." I looked away, I knew she was going to cry.

"I know.. I know how you feel, but Edward please, don't do this, she's not going to wake up!" I got mad at her for saying that, she can't know that! She's just a stupid doctor, I'm sick of people telling me negative things!

"STOP!" I yelled at her and put my hands to my ears. "You can't know that! I don't know anything." I stood up and walked to the door. "You should leave, now."

"No, not until we have straighten this out." She is stubburn, but I can only have one woman in my life who is that stubburn, and she is at the hospital, without me.

"There is nothing to straighten out, I'm sorry Tanya, it's over. I'm cheeting on Bella, it's wrong! I have been thinking about this for a long time, this is right.. It's over." Then she started to cry.

"Are you sure you want this? Because if Bella never wakes up, don't you dare to come cravling back to me." I opened the door for her, and she stomped out. Before she was fully outside mine and Bella's apartment she turned around.

"Is this really how you want it? You are acting like a child." She said and wiped her tears away.

"I'm not acting like a child, I am acting like an adult who's having a terrible heart ache." She took a step backwards and then I shut the door. _This is right._

* * *

**Hey everybody! I'm sorry for making this chapter so short, but I haven't got anything to fill it with so.. But there you have it! The 20th chapter. Please review and tell me what you think about Edward and Rosalie's connection and Edward's decition. I hope you like the idea. :) The 21th chapter will be out soon! It will probably be APOV. :D**

**Bye.**


	22. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hey you all! I'm back with the 21th chapter! :D I'm really pleased with the 20th, and I think that you're too! Edward and Tanya does no longer exist! :) But now, will Bella wake up? Will she die? What will happen next?**

**Here it is, the 21th chapter! Enjoy.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 21. New firends

APOV.

I woke up early, I checked the clock and it was just 06:10am. I couldn't fall asleep yesterday, I was too excited so I just slept four hours, and I'm up this early. Something's wrong..

I got dressed and made breakfust for me and Jasper. I made pancakes with syrup. When I went to wake up Jasper I checked the clock, it was 07:00am. _45 minutes to go._ I thought and giggled. I jumped up on the bed and started to jump uo and down.

"What?" Jasper asked moaning.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just so excited about school, wake up! I made you pancakes." And then he was up in one quick movement and I was laying on the bed.

"I'm out of here." Jasper said and ran into the kitchen.

"Hey! Wait for me! Jasper Withlock, don't you dare to eat all of the pancakes!" I laughed and jumped out of bed and walked into the kitchen. When I came through the door Jasper had seven pancakes on his plate, and I had made ten. I narrowed my eyes at him and he just laughed.

He knows that I don't like syrup so he slowly took the bottle and silently threatened to pour the pancakes full of it. "Oh, no you wont!" I told him and narrowed my eyes deeper into his.

I took a step towards him. "Jasper, put the bottle down, please." A grin slowly grew on his face. "Jasper." I told him again.

"HAHA!" Then the pancakes were full of yucky syrup.

"Oh no! I'm going to go hungry to school now."_ Wow, that sounded wierd even for my ears._ I lauged under my breath.

"I'm sorry." Jasper said with a small laugh and stood up. "Come here." I walked up to him and he gave me a kiss. "Now, is this what you are wearing to school?"

"Yes." I smiled. "Do you like it?"

"Like, I love it. You look so beautiful." He kissed my cheek. "Let's eat." He laughed. When I was done with my minimum breakfust, I put away the dishes. I checked the clock and it was half past seven.

"Okey. I have to go now." I smiled and started to jump up and down.

"Woah Alice! Take it easy, you don't want to break the floor! Give me a kiss before you go." He smiled.

"Haha, you sound like my dad!" I giggled and walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss on his soft lips. "I have to go now."

I drove nicely to school, I imagined how my friends might look and if they were going to be nice or mean. I named one of them Laura, and she wasn't the nicest of them. She had blond oragne hair, blue eyes and a Bella looking clothing stile. I named the nicest one Jane, she had a wierd lastname, Volturi. She liked the color black and she had blazing brown black eyes.

Blazing. The word blazing made me think about that strange boy I bumped into, who at first was really rude, but when he layed his eyes on me, he went really strange. I wonder how old he is.

I woke up from my fantasy and found myself at school property. I checked my watch and it was 07:40. "Okey. Just walk in there Alice, first day at school." I giggled.

I parked my car close to the front office and got out. I looked around, I've been here before, but it felt like every little thing was new. I had to get used do it, that's all. I walked into the front office, and as usual the strange woman was sitting behind the desk.

"Oh hello Alice! Mr. Lansford is waiting for you at his office."

"Thank you." I was just about to open the door to the principals office when the woman at the desk called for me.

"Oh, just a second Alice. My name is Helga, you can come here anytime you want."

"Thank you Helga." I opened the door to Mr. Lansfords office and stepped in.

"Just a second Alice," Mr. Lansford said. He was talking to someone on the phone. "Yeah, that'll be good, yes. Okey, byé. I love you too. Bye." He was talking to his wife.

"Hi." I said when he'd hung up.

"Hello Alice, I was just talking to my wife." _Wow, these things were happening more often now a days_. "Well, here's your scedual, would you like a tour aroud the school?"

"Sure." I smiled.

"Okey, let's go. The other students should arrive any minute now."

"Okey." He showed me around school. We walked into the cafeteria and the rest of school property. It's really nice here. It's so green! I love the design in the cafeteria. A group of students had painted and made really nice patterns that were trailing the walls all over the cafeteria.

When we got back to the front office Mr. Lansford wished me a good first day at school. And then I was free to go to my first class. I walked out of the frontoffice building and probably all of the students had arrived. I checked my watch and it was 08:55am. My class starts in five minutes. I looked over my scedual and it looked fine to me. My first class is Algerbra, I checked wich room I was going to have Algerbra in and it's the third building, room 12.

I was standing outside room 12, thinking about my fantasy friends and their looks. Jane and Laura. _Hm. _I walked right into the classrom and everyone stared at me. "Hi." I said. Some of them nodded at me and some smiled. I took a seat and waited for the teacher to come.

It felt like everybody was looking at me, like I'm some kind of freak, but I didn't care. I was classed as the wierd one through High school, lucky me I had Edward. He always used to stand up for me, telling the trubble makers to back off. Even though Edward is my little brother, he always used to act like my older brother. Mostly he does, but it's just because I'm tiny. I'm small! And he's big.

But I like it when he treat me as his big little sister. The only bad thing for him is that he can't butt me around. He can't tell me what to do. That's fun.

My memories was broken off by someone standing before me. "Hi." I looked up and it was Jane. The fantasy Jane was real. I stared at her, she must have thought that I'm freaky and wierd. "Ehm, hi." She said again.

"Oh, hi. I'm Alice. Sorry for staring at you, you just look totally like someone I know." I smiled.

"Oh, okey. I'm Jane." _WOAH! Wierd?_ My mouth fell open, this was just wierd!

"Hi Jane. Is there any chance that there is a girl named Laura in this class?" I had to ask, these kind of things kept happening to me.

"Yeah, she's sitting right behind you." I turned around in my seat and there she was. Laura. She looked just like the Laura from my fantasy. _What the heck?_ I just have to get used to it.

Algerbra went pass in a blur. Our teacher, Mrs. Heathwick made me stand up infront of the class and introduce myself, that wasn't very hard. I just said; "_Hi, I'm Alice Cullen._" And then Mrs. Heathwick told me to tell my fellow classmates what I liked to do during free time and I told them about my boutique.

Before I knew it, it was lunch. I had no idea where to sit, but just as I was about to screw lunch, - I had decided that I didn't need lunch - Jane came to my rescue. "Hey Alice! You can sit with us." She was standing at a table.

"Alright." I walked over to them and took a look around. Laura was one of the persons who sat with me and Jane at the table. And then there was the boy with the blazing blue eyes. Jane introduced me to all of the people who sat at the table, I couldn't register their names, I just kept staring at him, the blazing blue eyed boy.

I heard Janes voice in a distant "This is Jacob, Sam, Laura, Anna and Paul." but I could only look into his eyes, and he looked right back into mine. "And that's Jonathan."

I spent the rest of the lunch staring at the blazing blue eyed boy, Jonathan. Jane hade to shake me to get my eyes off of him. "Does someone have a cruch?" She asked and giggled.

"No. I've got a boyfriend, Jasper. But Jonathan, he looks so, so mysterious. So.. alone." I said thoughtful.

"Yeah, no he's not alone. He's just depressed." She sighed.

"Why?" I asked. I had a bad feeling about this. _Depressed, what had he done?_ I took a deep breath and held it.

"He.. uhm.. He was driving and then a girl walked right out on the street, and he ran her over."_ Oh no. It must be a coincidence, it can't be!_

"No.." I whispered chocked and looked down. "It can't be!"

"What is it?" Jane asked. I ignored Jane and started to look around for Jonathan, but he was gone. I had to ask him what the girls name was!

"Is the girl dead? The one Jonathan ran over, I mean." I asked Jane. I felt stressed, really stressed. My heart was pounding.

"No. She's fine I think. He doesn't talk about it." I sighed but there was still a chance, what did Jane know?

"Where is Jonathan?" I asked the guy who was standing next to Jane.

"You know Alice." Jane started and I turned towards her. "You're kind of wierd, why do you care if Jonathan ran over a girl, or what her name is?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I don't want to talk about it! Where is Jonathan?" I turned towards the guy next to Jane again. "Where is he!" I was pleading now.

"I don't know, probably heading towards class." He said.

"What's his next class?" I asked in a hurry. I need to speak to him!

"PE." And then I was walking away towards gym. I had to talk to him, the blazing blue eyed boy. When I got to gym I started looking for him. I would recognize his eyes anywhere. I saw him in a corner and started to walk in that direction.

"Jonathan." I called and he looked up. "Jonathan I need to speak to you!"

"What?" He looked angry, but the closer I got, more sadness and fear showed in his blazing blue eyes.

"I know that you don't want to talk about it, but you have to tell me! The girl you ran over, what's her name?" I was breathing heavily, my heart was pounding so hard in my chest that it started to ache.

He looked even more fraightened when I mentioned the girl. "Leave me alone Alice." The way he said it, my name, made my heart jump.

"No. Not until you tell me the girls name!" He was about to leave, but I grabbed his arm, he wasn't walking out on me.

"What does that mean to you? Why do you want to know?" He half screamed at me. He looked around and people had started to stare at us. I didn't care at the moment, I had to know.

"My best friend was run over a year and a half ago. She's in a coma. I want to know what the girls name was!" I pleaded. I had to know.

He looked away, tears started to build up in his beautiful blazing blue eyes. "Her name was Isabella." I couldn't breath, I broke down. **Blackness.**

* * *

**Here it is! The 21th chapter. OMG! Jonathan? Who would have known? I made Jonathan with the blazing blue eyes up. I didn't want Mike to be the one who ran over Bella! So I made Jonathan do it. But what will happen between Jonathan and Alice now? What about Jasper? Alice is so drawn to Jonathans blazing blue eyes! What will happen?  
**

**But hey! What do you think about Alice new friends? I think Jane is a bit wierd. ;) The 22th chapter will be out in a bit, and it might be a surprise in it! :o :) Keep your hopes up, and please REVIEW!**

**Well, I've got nothing more to say I think. Btw, don't ask me if Bella is waking up soon, you'll just have to wait and see. ;) Bye.**


	23. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Oh oh! I'm back with the 22th chapter! What will happen between Jonathan and Alice? Well, that'll just have to wait! Next, EPOV! (I'm sorry if this chapter will be a bit wierd.. and I'm sorry for making this chapter a bit short! The next one will be out in a bit! I promise.) Ready, set and READ!  
**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 22. Is it ture, is it you?

EPOV.

_Riiiing_. I answered the phone with the usual phrase. "Hello this is Edward Cullen speaking."

"Edward! It's Jasper, come quick, to the apartment!" Jasper sounded angry. _How wierd_.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"It's Alice!" I couldn't ask what'd happened or something like that because Jasper had already hung up. I just put on my shoes, ran down to the usual parkinspace of mine and jumped into the car. I didn't care about speed limit now. This was about my big little sister! What could have happened? I worried all the way there. I couldn't think of anyting alse.

When I got to the apartment, I just stormed in, I didn't bother to knock on the door. Alice was in trubble, or hurt or... dead! "JASPER!" I shouted, where were they? I checked the bathroom, nothing. I took a quick look through the livingroom, no one there. _Oh no, oh no! This can't be happening_. I've done this one time before, and it ended really bad.

"JASPER!" I called again. I ran into the kitchen, they weren't there either! "JASPER!" I screamed this time.

"Edward, in here!" It came from the bedroom. _Of course! Why didn't I check there first?_ I walked into their living room and there they were. On the bed. Alice was laying down, tears streaming down her face and Jasper was begging her to tell him what was wrong.

"What happened?" I asked.

"She passed out at school! They brought her home but now she won't tell me what's wrong!" He was freaking out, his face was turning white and he was shaking.

"Calm down Jasper." I told him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Alice." I sat down on the bed next to her. "You need to calm down too, you don't want Jasper to go into shock, do you?"

"I, I.. know!" She sobbed. What do she know?

"What do you know Alice? Do you know that you don't want Jasper to go into shock or do you know something alse?" I was starting to get irritated and confused. "Alice tell me." She kept sobbing. "Okey, I'm gonna let you cry till you're done. When you're ready, tell me."

"O.. okey." She kept sobbing as I tryed to get Jasper out of the room. I actually had to take him under his arms and drag him out. He was so worried, but I had the feeling that Alice isn't sick or anything, just very, very sad about something.

She was in that room for quite a while, and I had to deal with pasing Jasper. He was walking around in the kitchen, the livingroom and even the bathroom! "Jasper, calm down! Sit, right here, next to me! You're getting on my nerves."

He didn't listen to me. "Jasper, I know that you are worried, but trust me, Alice is just sad! She isn't sick or anything. I can feel it.." _Blazing blue. _I was looking out the window. _Blazing blue. The sky is blazing blue, how can something blue be blazing? Huh. _I couldn't stop staring at the sky, it was so beautiful.. This isn't something I usually do, I don't know what came over me.

I checked the clock. Wow, she's been in there for two hours for when I got here. I had no idea of how long she've been crying, because I wasn't here when she started to. "Jasper. For how long have Alice been crying?"

"Three hours." I said with a shaky voice. Now I get why he's so concerned, should I worry too?

I stood up and walked over to the bedroom door who was closed and knocked. "Alice? Please come out and talk to us."

"I can't!" She cryed.

"But Alice, you have been crying for three hours. I know I'm being kind of hard and heartless, but you can't cry forever. And I'm no behaving like a brother and I'm kind of hypocritic." I whispered the last part.

"Yes you are hypocritic, it's not fair!" _Did she hear that?_ I turned around and looked at Jasper, he was just as chocked as I was.

"Please Alice." I begged. "Please come out! You're making me nervous." I sat down on the floor and put my ear to the door. I was listening for any sounds that might give me a clue if she is getting out of the bed or not.

Alice sighed loudly and I heard her get out of the bed. I stood up, opened the door, walked over to her and took her in my arms. "Why are you crying?" I whispered.

"You don't want to know." She sobbed. "You might want now, but when you've heard it, you'll regret you ever asked about hearing it."

"I'm not so sure about that." I said and kissed her forehead.

"Edward sit down and I'll tell you." She was kind of freaking me out now. This didn't feel very good. _Blazing blue._ There it was again, the feeling made me think of blazing blue. I looked towards the door and Jasper was standing there. He was so quiet now.

I looked at Alice again and smiled. "Tell me."

She took a deep breath. "I know who ran over Bella."

All the air went out of me. "What? Who? How?" I was standing up now. I stared at Alice, and for the first time in so many months, I felt really scared!

"It's true. His name is Jonathan. It was an accident, he didn't mean to. He was driving and she walked right out on the street and he couldn't stop!" She was sobbing again, and she spoke really fast. I just couldn't believe this..

"How do you know all this?" I asked and sat down on the bed. It felt like a buket of ice cool misery was poured over me. I put my head in my hands as the tears were starting to well over.

"Jonathan goes in my class. Jane told me that he'd run over a girl a year and a half ago. I had to ask him!" She sobbed. "I had to ask him what the girls name was! And he said.. Bella!"

"What more did he tell you?" I was crying for real now.

"I couldn't hear anything more, I was out." She sobbed and threw her arms around me.

"I want to speak to him." I said and stood up. "What's his last name?" I asked. I wiped away my tears and manned up.

"I won't tell you, you'll hurt him!" She sobbed.

"Why do you care?" I was about to ask that question, but it didn't come out of my mouth, it came from behind me. It was Jasper.

"I don't know!" Alice screamed and ran into the bathroom. I turned around and looked at a very white Jasper.

"Why does she care?" He asked again but he whispered this time. "Why does she care?" And then he was walking out of the room. He was so mad that he slammed the door. This wasn't a usual Jasper behaviour.

"This is begining to go overboard Alice!" I yelled towards the bathroom. "Come out here!"

"Is he gone?" Alice said from behind me. She'd opened the door a bit.

"Come out here Alice!" I said again. "Now!"

"Fine, take it easy!" I don't want to fight with her. But she's acting like a child. This is enough.

She slowly opened the door and took a step out of the bathroom. "Are you going to hurt him?"

"Hurt who?" Jonathan? "No. I just want to talk to him. I wouldn't hurt him, not ever. I know that it wasn't his fault, I just want to talk to him, that's all."

"I don't know." She hesitated. "I just.. Jasper thinks that I'm in love with Jonathan, doesn't he?"

"Probably. But I think he's just jealous." I sighed. "Go talk to him." Alice nodded, but she didn't move. I sighed again. "Come here." I opened my arms for her and she walked over to me and a hugged her tight.

"Tell me his last name. I just want to talk to him. I won't tell him that you were the one who told me about him." I kissed the top of her head.

"Okey." She whispered. "But... I don't know his last name."

"Alice," I said and let her go.

"I promise! I don't know." A picture popped up in my head. _What the?_ And then a voice said; "and this is Jonathan." A saw a hand pointing towards a boy with blonde hair and his eyes were so blue that they looked like crystals or daimonds.

"No need to. I already know what he looks like." I could feel my eyes grow wider. _What in the world was that?_

"How?" Alice said surprised.

"I don't know, I just know."

* * *

**Well, well. I feel quite sorry for Edward. Luckily for Jonathan that Edward is a nice guy. Why do I keep putting Edward in these kinds of sits? Anywho, what do you think? Please review and tell me what you think! I want lots and lots of reviews, it gives me joy and it makes me wanna keep writing.. :) The 23rd chapter will be out in a bit! Might be out tomorrow morning! We'll see. :) Bye.**


	24. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Uhm, I kind of started to write this chapter before christmas. :s So I'm really sorry about that I haven't been writing! But I'm just gonna leave it like this. :D**

**Hey! I'm back with 23rd chapter. :) READ IT! There will be a surprise in it. :P Oh, one thing first, is it only me? or do you also have Christmas feelings? :p I can't wait till Christmas, I love to have the whole family gathered in the same house sharing gifts and love. :) Anyways, back to the story. :p Ready, set, READ!**

* * *

Chapter 23. The wake up call

EPOV.

I yawned. _Morning._ _This is it_. I checked the clock, half past seven. _Alice school starts around nine i think_.. I am going to go to Alice school, catch Jonathan and talk to him. I don't know what I will ask him. I just want to know if he knows that Bella is.. gone... almost anyways.

I did my usual morning walk, from the bedroom to the kitchen, from the kitchen to the bedroom, from the bedroom to the bathroom and then from the bathroom into the hall. When I was done, and I found myself in the hall, I checked the clock again. Nine. _Wow, how do Alice make it?_ I grabbed my jacket and locked the apartment and then I went down to my car.

I drove to Alice school and after I'd parked, I looked around. _Pretty nice_. I started to look for Jonathan. Alice had told me a little about him. I already know, for some reason, what he looks like. He's blonde, he's got blazing blue eyes and Alice told me that he's got a nice body.

Why would I want to know that? Anyhow, I started to look for Jonathan. I couldn't find him anywhere on the parking lot so I started to look for Alice instead. She'd told me that she and Jonathan has the same classes. I catched a glimpse of her on her way through the entrence of the school doors. I walked after her, hoping I would catch up. When I got through the doors I looked for her again. _Why am I doing this? Why not just call her? Stupid_.. I thought and hit myself in my head.

"Are you okey?" Alice giggled behind me.

"What the? How did you get there?" I asked and turned around. I laughed a bit, but my lips didn't move. My lips were in shock for nothing.

"That doesn't matter. But, let's get to the reason! You're here to see Jonathan right?" She sighed and looked away.

"Yes. Where is he?"

"He's in trig now, but chemitry was cancelled so we've got no class during the time 10-11.00." She smiled a little.

"Okey, I'll catch him after class, and I'll just wait in the caféteria." I gave Alice a hug. "See you later."

"Okey. We'll do, bye." She let go of me and marched her way towards class, and I headed for the caféteria.

I entered the caféteria and looked around. I searched for a place to sit. I found a spot next to the window and sat down there. On the table there was a magazine about sports. I had nothing alse to do so I read the whole thing, it wasn't really many pages, but it was something.

I checked my watch over and over again till it hit five past ten. Jonathan. I looked around in the caféteria and then I spotted him. He was standing next to the big coffeemachine. The coffeemachine isn't just a coffeemachine, it's a coffeemachine who also does hot chocolate and other things. Jonathan was probably taking something to drink. _This is my chance. But how am I going to approach him?_ I sighed.

I started to walk over there, and as I took one step after the other, I kept thinking about how to start._ I can't start with; "Hey Jonathan. You hit my girlfriend with your car and at the same time you hit my heart, my sould and my everything into a vegetable. She's practically dead." No way. _In a minute, I was standing next to him. He was waiting for his hot chocolate.

"Hi." Jonathan said suddenly. I looked up at him, shocked. _Wow, look at those eyes. He could actually use his eyes as a weapon, to get girls. It's not a good thing, but it's the truth. His eyes are dazzling_. "You're Alice big brother right?" He asked, again schoking me.

"No, I'm actually her baby brother. But I look like I could be her big brother." I smiled at him.

"Oh. But why are you here? You've graduated right?"

"Yeah I have."

"Then why are you here?" He looked a bit harsh. Had Alice told him something?

"I'm actually here to talk to you." I said and looked right into his blazing blue eyes.

"Hey, I haven't done anything to Alice! I promise, I wouldn't touch her!" He looked scared now.

"Calm down, I'm not here to talk to you about Alice. She's a big girl, she can take care of herself." I chuckled.

"Oh. What did you want to talk to me about?" He asked, I could see him calming down. That wouldn't last for long, though.

"We should sit down." There it was, the scared look. It started to creep up in his features again. When we'd sat down comfortable I went quiet for a time.

"Please, you're making me nervous, talk to me. I don't have all day, and I just want to get this over with." Jonathan sighed.

"It's about the girl you ran over." His eyes widened.

"How do you know about that, and why do you care?" His eyes were still really big, but his features that had started to relax, hardened again.

"I care because the girl you ran over was my girlfriend, is my girlfriend. I just want to know if you've ever visited her or if you've ever checked in on her? Do you have any idéa of how she is? If she's even alive?" I could hear how harsh my voice sounded, I didn't care. I just stared at him. I could feel the tears threatening to well over.

"The last time I was at the hospital was the same day the accident happened. They said she was fine. That she would survive! They said she only had a concussion!" His eyes were tearing up. He put his face in his hands, he was trying to hide it.

"So you think she's fine?" I asked, sounding even harsher.

"Yes!" He was on the absolute edge of crying now.

"She's in a coma! She is practically dead!" I was almost screaming now. I looked around and several people was looking at us. "She's brain dead." My turn. A tear rolled down my cheek.

"What?" Jonathan said and looked up. He looked shocked. "Brain dead? As in gone?"

"No, she's not dead, but her whole brain shut down, she's brain dead." I looked away. I couldn't see much. My eyes were all blurry.

"For how long?" He asked.

"One and a half year! She won't be waking up anymore.." I took a peek at him.

"What? Oh no, no, no, no, NO! What have I done?" He put his face in his hands and then he was crying, like really crying. Not the usual boy cry. He sobbed for quite a while, and the only thing I could do was pat his shoulder. I wouldn't, and I didn't tell him that everything was okey, because if everything was okey, I wouldn't be here now, and he wouldn't be sobbing.

"I HATE myself! For the rest of my life I will be having to carry around all this guilt and pain, knowing that I have killed a girl!" Before I could say anything alse my phone ringed.

"What?" I asked.

"Edward Cullen? This is Dr. Coastheart. You have to come to the hospital, NOW! Bella's room. Quick!"

"Why, are they unplugging her?" More tears streamed down my face. _Oh no_.

"No, she's waking up! Renee and Charlie told me to call you." I was now running towards my car, I could here Jonathan yelling after me, asking me what was wrong. I wouldn't stop, never! Bella, Bella, BELLA! I couldn't think, and before I knew it. I was at the hospital, running up the stairs. I didn't care about the open elevator, I wouldn't dare to. All I could think about was Bella, My Bella. She was waking up!

I was now running down the hall towards Bella's room. When I entered the room, Charlie had to stop me from running right into Bella's bed. "BELLA!" Her eyes were open and Renee was crying huge hippo tears. Charlie hugged me tight. "I can't believe it." I was crying like Jonathan had now, and so was Charlie.

"I can't either. My baby." Charlie allowed me to walk up to Bella's bed.

"Bella." I said, the tears were still streaming down my face.

"I love you." She whispered. My heart stopped when those words came out her mouth.

"I love you too. You have no idéa of how much I've missed you. How could you do this to me?" I put my face as close to hers and gave her a long and passionate kiss.

"I'm sorry." She said and brushed my hair with her fingers.

"I'm sorry too. Oh god, I've missed those fingers." I looked deep into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes and I kissed her again and again, but at the same time making sure that she could breath correctly. I looked at her. "I've missed you, so much." She was crying now too.

"I've missed you too. Even though I couldn't feel anything. I'm so sorry, for everything! I really screwed up our first anniversary, didn't I?" She laughed a quiet laugh.

"You've been gone for one and a half year, and you're sorry about you screwing up our anniversary? Stupid Bella." I chuckled and kissed her again.

"You're right. I'm sorry for leaving you for such a long time.."

"It's not your fault." I sighed and hugged her tight. I called Alice as soon as I'd calmed down. She was soo happy and sad at the same time that she went over to Rosalie and Emmett and cryed there and then they all had come to the hospital. I called mom and dad too, they got on the next plane to Seattle and when they arrived both of them cryed and hugged Bella several times.

I was so happy, I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't. I actually pinched myself several times to assure myself that I wasn't dreaming. Bella'd been sleeping for a while. I kept checking the brain monitor thing to check that she wasn't slipping back again. And one time I got scared because she looked just like she had when she was in a coma so I woke her up.

"Where's everyone?" She asked and sat up, looking around.

"They're in the cafeteria, eating." She sighed and slipped back down in a laying position. She closed her eyes for a while, and I started to doubt my own brain.

"Ouch." I whispered.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked and looked down at my arm. "Why do you keep pinching yourself? Stop it." She was smiling but her eyebrows was furred, she was rubbing my arm.

"I'm just reassuring myself that I'm not dreaming. But if I am, this is the absolute best dream I've ever had." I sighed and kissed her forehead. Then I heard a growl.

"What was that?" I chuckled and looked at her. I chuckled again, her cheeks were turning tomato red.

"Sorry, I'm kind of hungy."

"You should be." I smiled when she looked at me. "I'll call the nurse." I pressed the botton and while I waited I took a long look at my beautiful girlfriend who was laying in the bed next to my chair.

"What?" She asked and smiled. "What are you looking at?"

"You." I said. "You're so beautiful. I wish, so badly, that I could turn back time." I sighed and looked away. "I should've been there.."

"Stop." She said loudly. I looked at her with wide open eyes. "Stop blaming yourself! It's just giving me a bad stomach. I won't be able to eat if you give me a hard time."

"I'm not. I just wish that I could've been there with you. Pushing you out of the way. Away from that stupid car and that stupid Jonathan."

"Don't blame Jonathan for everything!" She sighed. "It wasn't his fault."

"How do you know about Jonathan?"

"How do I know? He was here visiting me, before I... you know." She looked away. "I'm sorry."

* * *

**I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting. :( I haven't had any time, at all, to write.**

**OME! (OME = Oh my Edward. Every Twilight fan should know that.) ;) There it is! :DDD The chapter when Bella wakes up. :D I really hope you enjoyed reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it. :P Please Review and tell me what you think!**

**OME! I am sooo stupid. Guess what I just found out about myself? Ever since I started to write this story I've spelled REVIEW right! And now, in this very chapter, I spelled REVIEW wrong! Ome, that's so weird if you ask me.. **

**I knew how to spell it, but then I just stopped writing for a while and then I forgot how to spell review! And guess another thing, I've been spelling WEIRD wrong too! I've been spelling it like this; WIERD! I don't know if there is any differences, but I would like myself to spell correctly because I know that I don't like it when other people spelles things wrong either. I don't wanna feel like a hypocrite. I'm so sorry. **


	25. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**I'm back with the 24th chapter! :D I'm really sorry for keeping you waiting. But I have so much in school now, and one of my absolute best friends is ill. :'( But enough about me and my problems! Here comes some of Edward and Bella's problems. ;) Ready, set and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 24. Take me home

BPOV.

Happy as hell, sooo in love. I feel like a new person. I feel kind of old.. Hungry as hell. I can't really think straight because I'm hooked up to all of these monitors and even though they're giving me fluid food, I feel really hungry. I don't know what to think anymore.. I feel so bad for Edward! I can't think about anything but him. All of my senses are out of function because of everything.

I can't stop apologizing either.. If feels like all of my emotions are running amok and going on and on again! Everytime I see my mom and dad, I cry. Everytime I see Edward, I keep apologizing and he keep telling me that this, all this, is not my fault.

"I'm sorry." I said again and now his sighs were like calculated, long and deep.

"Please Bella, stop apologizing. This is the last time I'll tell you to stop. I don't even know what you are apologizing for." He stared me down. Or it felt like it. I can't see the differences right now.

"I don't either. Stop looking at me like that, it's creeping me out!" I laughed easy. I can't laugh a real laugh, really, because everytime I try to laugh like I usually do, my ribs are giving me a hard time. You think that they would've healed already, but when you're in a coma, or brain dead as I was, your body loses its power. Not all of it, but some of the strength goes out when your breath does.

When I think about me being brain dead, I shutter. I can't immagine it, even though I was the one who lived through it. I don't remember much. Just one thing, but I can't remember what.. I was swooped back to reality when the thought of Edward staring at me hit me again.

He'd kept staring. "Okey. I'm apologizing for leaving you for this long.. I didn't mean to, and it wasn't just Jonathans fault and you know it! You just want someone to blame.." _Oh crap! I didn't mean to say it like that. I knew that right away when I saw the hurt in Edwards eyes_. "Oh no, no! I didn't mean for it to come out like that, I'm so sorry." I took his hand but he pulled away.

"I'm going down to the cafeteria. I'll come back later." His face was now pale white. He looked like a walking statue. I'd really hurt his feelings.

"Crap.." I said again. _How the hell do you get out of these wires and tubes?_ I asked myself and looked down at my body. _Do I really need this one? _I tryed to unplug the tube that went through my arm so I could "eat" fluid food, disgusting, but I didn't dare to pull out the needle, I faint at the sight and smell of blood.. That would really be embarrasing and Edward would think that I'd tryed to kill myself and then he would just blame himself for walking away.

"What are you doing?" I looked up and Mom was standing on the doorstep with a concerned look on her face.

"Oh, nothing." I looked down at my arm and let go of the tube.

"You sure?" Mom said and looked at me suspiciously.

"I'm fine mom." I said and looked down. "Is there something in purticular you want to talk to me about?"

"No, I just.." She took a deep breath. Starting with a deap breath never starts a conversation good. "I just want to see my beautiful daughter. I've missed you honey!" She walked really fast towards my bed and when she was close enough, she threw her arms around me.

The mom and dad tears were threatening to run over now, but I didn't hesitate, I just let them fall. "Mom." I said in to her hair.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Did Edward behave strangely down in the cafeteria before you came here?" I asked quietly as I could feel more tears streaming down my cheek. I was now crying because of two things. I'd hurt Edward, bad. I'm so grumpy and hungry that I let my rage out on him.. And I was also crying happy tears for my mother and father. Is it possible to cry sad and happy tears at the same time? I wouldn't know. I didn't have a reason to cry sad tears before the accident..

I was perfectly happy with Edward in our little apartment, I was happy with my job, I was happy with my friends and I was happy with my family. And then one stupid car comes to ruin everything. I don't blame Jonathan. Not even at all. I blame the car, and myself partly. _What are you doing Bella!_ And the voice in my head was back.. I knew it would come back sometime, why not now? Why was the question. _Why do you keep lying to yourself? You don't blame yourself partly! You blame yourself for everything! _

Back to reality again. Wow, I'm good at being swooped away. "No, nothing in particular." I looked up and mom was shaking her head. "Why? Is there something wrong?" Why was the question..

"No, it's nothing. Everything's fine." I gave her a small smile to reassure her as much as possible.

"Fine." She smiled too. "Well, should I go get Edward for you?"

"Yes please, I need to speak with him too."

"Okey honey, whatever it is, I'm sure you two can sort it out." She smiled and I sighed as I watched my mother walk away towards the door. I sat there, rolling my thumbs anxiously as I waited for my boyfriend to come up here to talk to me. I hope he would accept my apology.

"Yes?" I would recognize that voice anywhere. I looked up with tears in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm just grumpy, hungry and sad! I didn't mean it, I promise! Please, I'm so sorry!" I kept babbling as the tears streamed down my face, and it broke him.

"Shhh." He sat down next to me and embraced me carefully. "It's okey! Shh."

"No it's not! I left you, for so long! You had to spend Christmas without me, you had to spend your birthday without me, and our anniversary! I'm so sorry!"

"Stop tourturing yourself. It's okey. You're here now, it's all that matters to me. You're here." He placed his hands on each side of my face. "It's okey." He leaned foreward and kissed me with ease and passion, but at the same time he was so careful with my breathing, he wouldn't allow me to go to fast. "It's okey." I whispered against my lips. "It's okey." I could feel his warm breath brush my face. He tasted as delicious as he always did. _God, I've missed this._

"Take me home." I whispered as the last tear rolled down my cheek. He looked me right in my eyes and kissed me again.

"Of course I will. I've been wanting too ever since you got here." He chuckled lightly. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me into a tight hug. The first thing Edward did the next morning was to convince the doctors at the hospital to let me go home, they weren't listening, but when Edward asked for Carlisle's help, everything went smoothly.

He told them that he would personally take care of me at home. Both he and Esme would live with me and Edward in our apartment for a month so that Carlisle could follow me in my recovery.

I was so happy the day after when I packed up and got to go home. Edward and I took his Volvo and Carlisle and Esme went back to Forks to pack their necessaries. Alice, as pushy as she is, were of course coming over daily. I told her that it's wasn't necessary because Carlisle would be with me the entire time, but no. She would be coming over. Jasper said he would too if work didn't come in the way.

Rosalie and Emmett would come over time to time. "Of course I'll come visit you sister! I wouldn't dich you for anyone or anything in the world!" Rosalie cleared her throat. "Excuse me, would you like to say something Rosalie?" Emmett turned towards her and wiggled his big eyebrows. She had just smirked at him and for that he gave her a big wet kiss on her cheek.

"God Emmett! You can be such a dog sometimes!" She shrieked and giggled as she wiped her cheek dry. We were all gathered in my room and everyone broke down in laughter at Emmett and Rosalie's little show.

"Bella?" Edward snapped his fingers infront of my face. "Earth calling Bella!" I shook my head to get back to reality, again.. I looked out the window and we had just passed the school. Alice had told me that she's started school again. She told me that she was the one who found out that Jonathan was the one who drove "the car" as Edward refered it to. I on the other hand, already knew that, but how could they know? I was practically gone.

"Sorry, what?" I smiled and turned to my beautiful boyfriend.

"I asked you what you would like to eat, Miss Isabella." He chuckled.

"Ugh, please." I raised my left eyebrow and smirked. "Call me Bella."

"Well, Miss Bella. What would you like to eat?" He chuckled again.

"I don't know. Can't you cook something? I love your food." I smiled at him and he reached over and took my hand.

"Anything for you, my love." He pulled my hand up to his face and kissed my scarred knuckles lightly. He looked at me for a brief moment, but at the same time he didn't miss a thing in the traffic. "Does it hurt?" He whispered. Looking at the road now.

_Should I tell him? I can't believe I'm doing this_... I was actually asking the little annyoing voice inside of me if I should tell my worrying boyfriend that I am in pain. _You should!_ There's my answer. "Yes." I said, barely above a whisper.

Edward sighed loudly and started to push the car faster foreward in the traffic. "Hey slow down. It's not the car! It's always." He just kept driving the way he did. "Please slow down." I tuched his shoulder. "I'm fine, I just have to endure it." He chuckled loudly.

"Do you still remember that?" He was laughing now and I giggled.

"Of course I do. I'll probably always remember that weird look on your face the third time I saw you. After biology. 'Fine, I just have to endrue it' That poor woman in the office." We were laughing in harmony the rest of the way home.

When we got to the parking garage at our apartment building Edward got out of the car, and walked over to my side and opened the door for me. "Wow, what a gentleman." I smirked at him as I grabbed his hand. He would obviously do this for a long time into the future.

When I was out of the car, he grabbed my bags and we walked to the elevator. When we finally reached our apartment door and he opened it, I was home. "Finally." I whispered.

* * *

**Well, is it only me or do you think that there is too little drama in this story? I think I need to spice things up a bit! Any suggestions? ;) What do you think about the whole Edward and Tanya situation? Remember that Tanya moved, well... **

**What if she came back? Hmm. Just wait for the comming chapters, there will be a whole lot of new things coming up. Please review and tell me what you think about this half slow going chapter. x) Sorry about that, hehe.**


	26. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hi! I'm back with another chapter. I will hopefully post this a bit faster that the other one. (the 24th) It's really weird because this A/N is kind of talking to myself before posting it. x) But, if you've got something to say then say it. :P This chapter will give you an insight of what Edward and Bella's apartment look like. I really like my view of what their apartment look like, I like styling rooms and such, so this is my chance to prove to you people that I'm good at it. ;)**

**Will there be any drama in this chaper? Probably not, sorry about that. Ready, set and READ!**

* * *

Chapter 25. Just the same

BPOV.

Mine and Edward's apartment hadn't changed a bit! And it's been one and a half year since I was here the last time.. My poor Edward. He hadn't even touched my things. He'd left them as I had left them. My makeup was still all over the makeup table. And my clothes were still lying on our bedroom chair, barely used clothes! I would just wear them one day and then I threw them on the chair. Easy as a pankake.

The curtains were hanging the same boring way as they'd done before I.. went away. They were the same color in every room, except in mine and Edward's bedroom. The same color Edward's eyes are. A deep light green with a little hint of blue in them. I loved those curtains, even though they were hanging boringly. Our beige couch was still standing the same way, and our black flat screen tv was still hanging on the wall on the opposite wall from the couch.

The wase my mother gave me and Edward the day we moved into our apartment was still standing on the table we had under the tv, and he hadn't changed the plastic flowers in them like I usually did. "You haven't changed a thing." I said to Edward.

"Nope." He sighed.

We have one single painting in the whole apartment hanging to the left of the tv. That specific painting was a gift from Carlisle and Esme. Esme had painted it as she stood watching over the lake behind their hose in Forks. I loved that painting. Everytime Esme and Carlisle were here visiting I used to talk to Esme for hours telling her storys I'd written and that lake, was always in every single one of my storys.

The tv controls were laying on the table infront of the couch among some magazines. He'd actually moved them. _Of course he have moved them, you wacko! If he watched the game or something on tv he would've used the controls._ Ugh! That voice again. It's driving me crazy. I was now in the kitchen. It pretty much looked like a plain kitchen. The wall over the sink, the counter and the stove was covered with glazed white tile. The cabinet doors were in wood and Edward had painted them in a faint shade of grey and blue.

The stove looked like any other stove. It was white with black hot plates, and there's a oven built into it. The fridge was a three quarter fridge and the freezer was a quarter freezer. It's just as tall as any other fridge, but it's standing on a mini freezer. There's a big wall cutting the kitchen from the livingroom, but there's a gap in that wall and if you go through it, it'll lead you to a little room where we eat. There's a big white wooden family table in the middle of the room, you can be around ten people sitting round that table. There are no paintings in that room, or in any other room, it's just a dull room with beige white wallpaper and wooden floor, there's a white little table in one corner, it's like a nightstand table, but yet not. There's one single poor plant on that table. There's nothing intresting in that room. We usualy don't spend any time in there exept when we have family dinners.

When you come through the front door, you see right through to the livingroom and if you walk into the livingroom, you turn to your right and there you have the kitchen. If you stay in the hall and turn to your right, you have a door, wich leads into mine and Edward's bedroom. And to the left (from the hall) you have a bathroom.

The bathroom floor is covered with black clinker (it looks like stone) and the walls are covered with glazed white tile, just like in the kitchen but there's a stripe, going round all of the four walls in the bathroom, with a none glazed beige tile. It's a beautiful pattern on it. You can't describe it. The toilet is a boring plain white and so is the sink. The shover are two round glass doors nudging each other. One is openable. There's a green plant hanging over the shower, why I don't know.

As stupid as I was, I let Alice furnish and decorate mine and Edward's bedroom. But it turned out to be a great thing, but an expensive one. When you come through the door, the room is rectangular. The wall on the opposite from the door is a backscene wall. Alice picked out a beautiful patterned wallpaper for the 'backscene' effect. The primer color of the wallpaper is darkgrey almost black and then there are silver leafs with tendrils covering the whole thing but with medium gaps so the darkgrey black color in the background won't dissapear. The leafs aren't entirely silver, they come in shades of darkpurple too. And it's so beautiful. The rest of the walls are just the primer darkgrey black color wallpaper.

All of the furniture in the room are white. The actual bed is made of wood, but Edward painted it white. The cover is dressed in a beautiful black, grey and darkpurple bedspread, and it's home sewn, Alice made it herself. The pillows have a matching overdraft. There are two small nightstands on each side of the bed, they are too in white wood. On my side of the bed, the left, on my nightstand, I have a alarmclock, a lamp my mother gave me and some earrings. On Edward's side there's a identical lampe. Funny story how he got it, because the lamp my mother gave me is over a hundred years old, but it's so beautiful!

The lamp is in the same darkpurple color as the cover on the bed and the as the leafs on the backscene wallpaper. I have no idea of how my mother got that lamp, but I love her for it! And Alice went all crazy when she saw it. That's why Edward looked for one just like mine on E-bay, and he found one too, at last. The bed is placed in the middle of the backscene wall, and right above it, Alice placed a mirror. I have no idea why, but it looks good there.

My makeup table is placed next to the door. In one corner of the room, we have a big black plastic pot plant! It's so cute, I love it, but Edward doesn't like it, though. Our room may seem dark, but it's not! All of the dark purple chades makes the room lighter when the blinds are up and the outside lights are shining through the windows. I love our bedroom. It's so private, but yet so light and open. And of course, I can't forget our white clothing chair! It's a easy, old fashioned, white wooden chair, standing in the corner next to my makeup table. That's about it. Our apartment.

I was still walking around, and Edward kept following me. "Why are you still following me?" I giggled.

"Why are you still walking around in circles?" He chuckled.

"I don't really know." I said puzzled. "It's like I've been here before, wich I have, but something's different, even though it's not." I turned, narrowed my eyes at him and smirked. "Nothing's changed right?" He looked around and sighed.

"Nope. Don't think so. But hey, we should eat now, you must be hungry! You've been walking around in circles for like an hour now!" I laughed.

"Fine." I tryed to reach for him, so I could give him a kiss, but my ribs wouldn't let me. I sighed, but my sigh turned into a evil smile. "Hey, you wanna know a secret?" I looked at me puzzled.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing. Wanna know a secret?" I smiled evilly again.

"Fine." He said, still looking puzzled.

"Come here." I said and motioned him to come closer to my face. He hesitated. "Oh come here!" I said and grabbed his collar on his nice green shirt and pulled him close to me.

"What's the secret?" He said and held his face close to mine. I leaned in and whispered;

"I want to kiss you." In his ear.

"You could have asked!" He smirked and gave me a long kiss. I just didn't get bored kissing those soft, full, nice tasting lips. They were so perfect! I would kiss him all day if he'd let me. But no. I have to think about my breathing. He, as usual, pulled away way to early and I sighed.

"I don't like it when you won't let me kiss you as long as I'd like to." I sulked. He rolled his eyes and gave me a peck on my nosetip.

"You have to think about your breathing." We both said at the same time.

"I know, I know." I sighed and leaned into him. He wrapped his big arms around me.

"Let's eat." I looked up at him and he smiled. We walked into the kitchen and Edward lifted me carefully up on the counter next to the stove. He started to make us some pankakes. I watched him as he made the pankake batter, he measured every ingredient exactly. It was fun looking at him, he always had this weird look on his face as he measured. I tryed not to laugh, partly because of my ribs, but I didn't want him to get distracted.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it." I said and started to motion myself to jump off the counter.

"No you wont, stay right there." Edward ordered me, I just sighed loudly.

"Are you going to treat me like a baby for the rest of my life?" I asked him, annoyed.

"Yes." He smirked before he dissapeared around the corner to get the door.

"Hi!" I heard Esme and Carlisle say as the got through the door. "Where's Bella?" Esme asked. "Carlisle, Edward, take the bags and I'll go and look for Bella."

"She's in the kitchen." Edward said.

"Okey." I heard Esme say. I smiled to myself. I grabbed the whisk and carefully whipped in the batter to make myself look occupied. "Hello honey!" Esme said as she rounded the corner.

"Hi Esme." I smiled at her. I really love Esme, she's like my second mother. I can come to her when I'm sad, and I know that she'll always be there for me, just like my own mother, but Esme's a bit closer to reach than my own.

Esme came up to me and gave me a big hug. "What are you doing sitting on the counter, darling?"

"Oh, can't get down." I laughed.

"Edward won't let you?" She chuckled.

"Nope." We were laughing and talking about my injuries. I showed her the bruises I had on my stomach and across my ribs, and I told her to lay her hand carefully over my ribs on the right side of my body. You could feel where the ribs used to be broken. One of them were still pointing out.

"Oh my lord." Esme said, she almost looked frightened. "Aren't you going to have them fix it?"

"No, I don't think it's nessecarry, plus, it's to expensive." I said with a shrug.

"I'll go get Carlisle so he can take a look on it for you, honey." She said and walked away to get him. I touched the rib that was still pointing out.

"You will be a constent reminder of that day.." I said with a sigh and jumped off the counter.

* * *

**I'M SO STUPID! I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT EDWARD AND BELLA HAS A WHITE WOODEN DRESSER IN THEIR ROOM. WELL, THEY DO. PICTURE THAT IN YOUR HEADS TOO. ;) **

**There it is! This chapter is sooo slow, I know. But I want you to have a full insight of what Edward and Bella's apartment look like. I think it's beautiful. :) And I love how their bedroom turned out. If anyone wants to know how Edward got the lamp, just ask me. :) I didn't want to make this chapter way to long, so I didn't write it down. That's probably all I wanted to say. :) REVIEW!**


	27. Chapter 26, final chapter

** Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.**

**Uhm.. Hi! I don't know how long it have been since I last wrote, and I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry for that I haven't been writing, at all, for months! But that is surely going to change, and I know that I've told you that before, but now I promise, for real. So, I hope you'll like this chapter. Sorry I'm a bit rusty. I hope you'll forgive my possible writing misses, or whatever you wanna call them. **

**And I'm sorry but this is the last chapter! And it will be a little shorter then usual.. So if you wanna know how - read my lips - this story ends... Ready, set, READ! (I can assure you, this will not be the end of Edward and Bellas story, The memories of him.)**

* * *

Chapter 26. Getting back on track, final chapter

BPOV.

"Bella are you stupid! You could have hurt yourself! Even more than you did before.." Edward was yelling at me for jumping down from the counter. He's so overprotective. I can't blame him, though.

"I'm sorry.." I said quietly and walked to the living room. I sat down on the coutch, waiting for Carlisle to come and look at my rib.

"It's okey. Just, don't do it again, okey? promise?"

"Okey, I promise not to do it again.. But you can't just leave me on the counter like that! I had to get down some how." I told him and then I gave him a quick kiss.

"So. What do we have here?" Carlisle said, coming up from behind Edward.

"A pointy rib." I told him. Carlisle checked my rib and told me that there was nothing alse to do then surgery if I wanted to get rid of the pointy part. But I chose not to do anything about it. Even though Carlisle could get me a free surgery, I told him no. I want it to be a constent reminder of how careful I really should and have to be in trafic.

Carlisle and Esme stayed with us for almost three weeks. The week after they left, mom and dad came to wisit me and Edward. Mom kept hugging me and dad kept saying; 'Renée, you're crushing her!' And then he would give me a hug himself.

They stayed for a week. The same night as they left, me and Edward was laying in our bed and talking. "How are you?" I asked him. I know I've asked him that before, but he would always answer the question with, 'I'm fine, I've just missed you.' But that's a lie. I know that he's not fine, he wasn't when I was in a coma, and he isn't now. Something is bothering him, deeply.

"I'm fine, I've just missed you." He said with a smile. It didn't touch his eyes, though. That was one signn of him lying.

"Stop lying to me. I know you're not fine. Tell me what's bothering you."

"It's nothing. I've just missed you, and that's the truth. You've been away for so long, I wasn't able to touch your worm body, I wasn't able to see you smile, I could kiss you though, but you wouldn't kiss me back. Nothing about your body was you. You were just laying there, and _You_ were somewhere alse." Atear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm sorry.." I whispered and kissed his chest. I was laying on his chest and listening to his heart beeting.

"They wanted to shut you down. They wanted to unplug that life support thing.. What's it called? I forgot.." His heart started to race and he was getting mad.

"Calm down! It's okey, I forgot too. It's okey." I gave him kisses, following his chest, up his neck, along his jawline, a few on his cheek and then I placed a long kiss on his full lips. "Do you know how much I love you?" I aked him.

"Yes." He said quietly. "As long as.."

"We both shall live." I completed his sentence. "You're rigt. I really do, with all my heart. And I'm really, so sorry." We were both quiet for a while, but then he broke the silence.¨

"How was it?" He whispered.

"How was what?"

"Being... asleep for so long. How was it?" He was still whispering for some reason.

"It was.. dark. I had no one. The darkness kept creping up on me, trying to swallow me whole... It was dark.." I told him, thinking back to the little I could remember. "When I finally defeat the darkness, someone was with me.."

Edward was looking at me with sceptic eyes. "Who?"

"An angel." I whispered.

"An angel?" He chuckled quietly. "Well, how did she look like?"

"_He_ looked like you.." I said, staring into Edwards deep light green eyes. "That's all I remember, The memories of him. _Him_ is you."

I gave him a light kiss and then I gave him another kiss and another one, and another one. The kisses got more intense and I just couldn't help myself. His body against mine, he was so muscular, yet so soft and gentle. My hands were trailing up and down his body, and when I got o hold of his shirt, I pulled it of. He was doing the same to me. He was grabbing me everywhere, longer on some places.

We helped eachother with getting our clothes off and they were flying everywhere. Edward embraced me with such wormth, he was irresistible. We kissed a litte more, and got to the other part. It was like nothing I had imagined! It was amazing, so releasing. Edward was amazing, like he'd done this before even though I know he haven't. Right? He'd told me before that I was the only one he'd wanted to be with, and I still believe that that promise stands. He said that he'd been saving himself for the right one, and that I was the one.

When we were done, Edward fell asleep. I just couldn't. I just lay there, thinking about what'd just happened. I looked at him, he was just laying there, next to me, so peaceful. I really love this boy, and I can't believe that he's been standing beside me all of this time, even though I've hurt him in so many ways, unintentionally of course, but yet.. I fell asleep after a little while.

I woke up early the next morning. I woke up with a smile on my lips. Edward was still sleeping peacefully on his side of the bed, with one arm around my waist. I let out a deep sigh and lifted away his arm and carefully layed it beside me. I checked the clock, 10.30am. "Ops." I giggled to myself.

I wrapped the bed sheet around my naked body and walked into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of milk. Just when I was about to open the fridge, someone rang the doorbell.

I walked to open the door, thinking it was Alice or Emmet, but when I opened the door, there was a woman standing infront of me. She had strawberry blond hair. She was tall with a well formed body and she was so pretty. Her beauty struck my self confidence immediately.. "Oh. I'm sorry, I'm not dressed. Uh.." I chuckled, embarrassed.

"Hello Bella." _How does she know my name?_ "I'm looking for Edward. Is he stil asleep?" She said, looking up and down my body.

"Uhm. How do you know my name?"

"That doesn't..." She interrupted herself and smiled, almost evilly. "Hello Edward." I turned around and Edward was standing behind me in just a bed sheet him too. He took a step closer to me, his body touching mine.

"Tanya!" He breathed loudly.

* * *

**Oh my, people! What do you think will happen next? Well, start reading when I publish the sequel; It was always him. I know I am just as excited as you are! I love to write, and I want to continue doing that, and that's why I want you to review and tell me what to think!**

**Keep an eye up for newly published storys and then you'll eventually find my story, It was always him, there somewhere. I love you all! And thank you so much for reading and reviewing! See you next time. Xoxo Lenore Berglund.**


End file.
